What would you do if you were with someone for two years and you just kinda always had a mutual agreement that you would get married someday soon, and the day comes when you pick a date, and start planning..
and your family voices their opinion that they think that you should wait a little longer?
My fiancee and I have only been together for two years, and are getting married in April '08. My Grandparents think it's WONDERFUL, and so does my mom and dad..
We have never argued about anything, communication is our secret. To this day we confide in each other and love each other more than anything in the world..
but my Aunt and Uncle have recently voiced their opinion tonight that they think that we need to wait. For something, I'm not sure what.
What would you do? Our relationship is as perfect as love can be, and we are very ready to get married.. How to you handle unsupportive relatives?
(P.s. my fiance is a great guy, with a great job and a great heart.)
2007-11-16 17:38:29 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Apparently they think that we need to wait because they did.
That if we get married now, it won't last. And that's how they were talking to me when they explained it..
Saying things like "Stay together as long as you both make each other happy, but you should wait about 7 years to get married, at least."
2007-11-16 17:39:33 · update #1
By the way, we have lived together for more than a year and a half.
2007-11-16 17:45:27 · update #2
I guess it's not an issue about whether or not to get married; I'm getting married.
It's more of an issue that I'm upset because it's hard when some of your closest family doesn't support you in somethign that means so much to you.
2007-11-16 17:50:24 · update #3
Well, in your case, your uncle and aunt seemed good folks just love you and worry about your future. When people love someone they try to protect as much as they can. Nothing to blame them. But there are times you just need move on and do your own decision. Think about your future with your current bf in the long run. Your life goal is not to please everyone right? You have to make your own decisions early or later. Remember we all make decisions everyday and mostly live with their results. Marriage is not something you take lightly. The chances are you will get stuck for a while whether it is a good or bad one. So if I were you, some sunny day I would see those folks and just listen their insight as to why they thing that you should wait. Then weigh and ponder about it. It is not late. Remember the decision is yours. You are the one who will stuck with it.
2007-11-16 17:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are happy, then go for it. It's normal to argue because you both are going to have two different opinions one day on a very strong subject. Do you two live together? I would live with each other for AT LEAST a year before getting married. Believe me, it was the best thing that I ever did!
Good luck!! (And blow a raspberry into your aunt and uncles face for me, okay? :)
2007-11-17 01:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by Happy. Finally. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal. In almost every marriage there are some people in the family that don't think it's a good idea. Your aunt and uncle just happen to be the kind of people that say something. In most families nothing is said.
You should just thank them for their advice and go about with your life as you see fit.
2007-11-17 01:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but let you Aunt and Uncle impart their 'wisdom' on their own kids.
Important ingredients in making a marriage work are love and communication. You seem to have both with your fiance, so if you're wanting to go ahead with this then by all means.
Staying together for x number of years does not guarantee a successful marriage.
2007-11-17 01:44:37 · answer #4 · answered by Tracey H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if it didn't work out would you want to be 7 years older when you get a divorce? Anyway, if you're compatible with someone you'll last if your together 1 month or 10 years before you get married. Wouldn't being together longer give you more time to find flaws that bother you, but if you were married you would compromise? They aren't your parents, this is your decision.
2007-11-17 01:44:13 · answer #5 · answered by takterest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should wait. Every relation is different..you cannot apply the same logic you Aunt and Uncle did at their age.
When you to are communicating well with each other and think your relation ship is in good shape..go for it and make it stronger by marriage. Just make sure you both are committed towards marriage..discuss about that..Things will be little different after marriage..responsibilities..commitements etc..even couples in love tend to struggle to understand each other after marriage...hope this helps.
2007-11-17 01:48:13 · answer #6 · answered by remo s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get married if you feel that it is time. No one but you and your finance knows this for sure. As far as age goes, my wife and I married at 17 and 18 respectfully, that was 13 yrs ago. So, you can go against what others say and live a happy marriage.
2007-11-17 01:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by ChaRiaLer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure, lots can happen in 2 years, or 4 years, or 7 years. You can't control that. I think 2 years plus another 6 month for wedding planning/engagement is fine. Tell your Aunt and Uncle thanks for their concern, but you are getting married.
2007-11-17 01:44:00 · answer #8 · answered by jt_eradicator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh good grief. First, slap your aunt and uncle. Mine is the same way.
If you believe in your heart that he is the one for you, do it. do it tomorrow, do it right now.
People do not fall in love to please the aunt an uncle.
Just keep in mind that no marriage is actually perfect, and remember this love in case the flame flickers so you can stoke the fire.
2007-11-17 01:46:04 · answer #9 · answered by offthewall76 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if, and only if, your celebration was being funded by this aunt and uncle who are enjoying raining on your parade should you consider waiting.
If things are as you describe them, and you both agree, then go for it. If they object that much, dont invite them.
Good Luck
2007-11-17 01:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by MHnurseC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋