Ok my husband does not have the best history with cheating and Iam pretty sure he is not. But we got in a fight tonight and I want to know if I am over reacting. For some reason he does not like to discuss his female friends with me well last night he decided to which was fine. Then he went on that this women was having a b-day party for her son. Ok fine. Well then I start to question him and he states that he compliments her sometimes, Which I could of dealt with not hearing that. Anyways he said that he would like to go. I said fine. So I am working and dont get off till nine and the bday party starts at 7. him and my daughter goes/ Well he picks me up and my daughter is not in the car. Mind you that I do not know this women and have trust issues with my hubby., Comes to fine out that she has been alone with her for over three hours/ I got mad. One I dont know this women and I know you flirt with her. oh and btw it was her party which he decided to tell me after the fact. Help !!!
2007-11-16 15:40:24 · 14 answers · asked by the_britts2003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like he took your daughter to his girlfriends house. I'm not saying this to be mean I am infact serious. Thats awful and especially having your daughter right in the middle of it. Don't be played for a fool by being friends with this homewrecker!! She should have no business with your husband at all. This is not good. Not good.
2007-11-16 15:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by just bored 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, let's calm down. Ask yourself first, did he at anytime say you could not go? no matter if you knew you were getting off work at nine? Did he deny you to show up? ok...Now , the party started at 7pm ok, by the time ppl arrive and settle an hour has already passed which leaves him 2 hours to really get mello . But lets not forget the minutes that must be deducted for taking off the party to go pick you up on time, 15- 20 min maybe?......Which leaves him with 1 hour and 40 min....Now you being a woman, seriously, how much can happen or get done in that time if there are many ppl present? Now...... your husband opened up to you upon your request, right? dont lose this type of communication,but much rather encourage it by being open minded when the discussions arise. If your aware of your insecurity due to the past then you must question him all that need answers, such as, where is this party going to be at? What is her name? Ask Dear!!!!!!, ask all to clear any miss-understandings.... if i had been you I would of called him on the cell phone or her home phone (considering you asked for it prior to attending the party just incase of an emergency) midways of the party to see if he was enjoying himself and requested to speak to the woman just to wish her a H-day heheheh, this way things bring tension between them if anything had been going on....Don't exclude yourself it only makes you look guilty if you do.............if you pursue matters your way, then expect the same to be repeated . He feels the need to lie because of your reaction when he tells you the truth.... get involved in all his doings and you will learn what great peace you been missing out on...Good luck and God bless!
2007-11-16 16:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by sandy d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont know the lady then why did you send your daughter to her sons bday party. You husband could have gone on his own if he was so keen to. How come your daughter was alone with the lady for three hours. One would imagine they were all a crowd of party people enjoying themselves at the bday party. Question your daughter as to what was the conversation etc in the three hours in the company of the lady. Maybe if you made it a point to meet the lady and make friends with her, you will find out for yourself. She may not be a bad person as you presume she is.
2007-11-16 15:57:09 · answer #3 · answered by live and let live 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should not have female friends that are not your friends as well. You may think on one hand he is using this woman as a baby sitter but you should know those friends if he knows them enough to attend a birthday party. You need to sit and talk with him and try to work together but since he has the history of cheating, he probably is again and you need to move out with our daughter and give him time to decide if he wants to be married, or if you do.
2007-11-16 16:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have valid concerns, brit... Let's just suppose the situation was reversed and it was you attending a birthday party for a guy, (that you had complemented), and your husband being unable to go, (due to work)? In your opinion, would he be upset?
You mentioned your husband "does not have the best history with cheating". That's a big red flag to begin with. I see that you're trying to "deal with this", but is it fair for you to have these issues to deal with? Especially with his previous track record?
How much more understanding and forgiveness are you prepared to give this marriage? Even if it is truly an innocent situation, your hubby should respect your feelings about "how this looks", since he previously demonstrated his lack of fidelity.
good luck, brit
2007-11-16 16:01:05 · answer #5 · answered by Reacher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely, you're a spouse now and the middle of a stable relationship is a sturdy friendship so in case you nonetheless domesticate that then you are on the main suitable suited direction. As on your concerns - one among them a minimum of sounds severe: "Is he drowsing with somebody else". If he's then i might say that would not bode nicely on your marriage. If this is in basic terms you questioning if he's then ask him for reassurance. tell him you're feeling scared and insecure. If he loves you he could take it sluggish to reassure you. making a guy happy could be quite common: doing effective issues for him, stuff in mattress, complimenting him - yet while he isn't overjoyed with something approximately himself then it must be impossible to "make him happy". you need to do each little thing interior the international and he nonetheless heavily isn't happy. Then i might recommend couples counseling. it must be stable to hunt for some professional help authentic now for your self a minimum of. perchance see a therapist for some sessions and communicate approximately what's occurring on your relationship the place you may get into specifics and get some feed back from a knowledgeable professional. stable success
2016-10-02 02:11:03 · answer #6 · answered by scherrer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should respect how you feel. If this women is such a good friend to him(and that is all she is) Then He shouldn't have a problem with taking you to some of these events so you can get comfortable with her and that you will be okay with their friendship. Most married couples do these things together. Your husband should also understand that even though he may just her with your child that you still don't know her and its your child too. I cant say weather or not your husband is cheating, it sounds like he is flirty with her. I wouldn't feel comfortable with him husband doing this. Its a no no.
good luck
Sandra
2007-11-16 16:07:21 · answer #7 · answered by Sandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would sit down and talk to him and listen to his side of the story and then I would ask my daughter what happened and why did she stay instead of going with her father to pick you up at work. If you do not like what you hear from either one get counseling if that does not work get a divorce.
2007-11-16 15:56:39 · answer #8 · answered by loveinks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So tell him that he was out of line leaving the kid with a stranger and relax a little bit......One of the Cardinal rules in marriage is never ask something you don't want the answer to. Thats what really has you bent out of shape. Sorry, not the answer you were looking for.
2007-11-16 15:52:23 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Why would a spouse have friends of the opposite sex if they cannot be mutual friends for you both?
Also, leaving your child for several hours at his friend's house is not a good idea. Why wouldn't he just bring her with him to pick you up, what's the big deal?
I think something is definitely fishy here and I agree with the other poster above me who said he left the girl at his girlfriend's house.
Too much drama for me.
2007-11-16 15:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋