My husband and I are separating (for reasons I will not fully go into, except to say that he has some issues...and he agrees) and the idea of not having to see him when I walk through the door makes me happy. I am not mad, sad, or hurt. I am ready to move on. Did you feel similar to this at first and then change your mind...or are you still happy to be separated?
2007-11-16 15:10:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
write down all the reasons why you separated and keep them close to you, in a few, lonelyness hits you and he dosent seem so bad after a while and youll end up missing him, then you forget why you were so happy when you didnt see him at home!!
be happy
2007-11-16 15:14:48 · answer #1 · answered by suehellen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has been said ... when a married couple can walk into an attorney's office to get a divorce .. and they get along with each other .. and are in agreement .. that the marriage is really over.
On the other hand ... married couples who still fight & scream .. usually have some real doubts.
I know someone who has been divorced for 34 years .. and has never regretted the divorce .. not even once.
If you are ready to move on .. that is a pretty good sign that you are ready for divorce. However - sometimes .. way down the road - old feelings will rush back in .. and regrets set in.
Only TIME, wil tell.
2007-11-16 23:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left my husband twice...the second time resulted in divorce. While we were separated the second him, he pursued me for an entire year while we were waiting for it to be final. I dated. He dated. He had issues, but so did I.
Dating blows...
I realized after LOTS of trial and error, I'd rather put up with HIS S#!t rather than put up with anybody else's. At least I knew the baggage he came with and the issues that needed to be worked out. It's hard starting over and dealing with someone else's garbage.
We started dating 2 months after the divorce was final...and believe me, the entire time we were separated I continuously told him to leave me alone and how much I hated him and I wanted him to move on...but he never gave up.
We decided to trial date for 6 months to a year and mutually agreed that if we couldn't get it right, we'd both move on. 3 months in, I got pregnant with our second child and he proposed on the spot. 3 months later we re-married and now our baby is 3.
I am the happiest I've ever been. We communicate better, hardly EVER fight (which was one of our biggest problems) and he has become a much better husband and father to our children. Separating and divorcing was the best thing that could've happened to us.
We've been together now for 12 years...married for 10 (that includes the separation because getting a divorce in Los Angeles takes FOREVER!!!). I'm glad it all went down the way it did. Now I truly know that I married my best friend.
2007-11-16 23:28:07 · answer #3 · answered by sxctighteyedtam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am separated right now from my wife, we have been married for 15 years. At this time, feelings go back and forth. We are both not happy with way things are in our marriage and need time to figure things out. We just do not know how to figure how to fix our issues. There will be times when you feel you wished had them there and times you are not fighting or not talking to each other that there is peace. I would suggest try to find yourself and healing yourself, do not get into the first relationship that comes along. Give yourself time to enjoy yourself and truly find yourself. If you need to talk just email, it helps to talk with others that are going through the samething. God Bless you
2007-11-17 00:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by comcast23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just not meant to be together. It's not that you hate the other person it's just that your a better person without them. I have gone through this we separated like you and we both felt we needed to be together again, but whether it was the loneliness the sex or what will you have it. We finally came to a mutual agreemeant that we are not ment to be. Even with children............and we now both live entirely separate lives and we are both as happy as one can be. The children are old enough and have come too understand as well.....................
2007-11-16 23:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by thebaked 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am certain that I made the right decision when I divorced.
2007-11-17 00:26:59 · answer #6 · answered by Jax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep asking yourself this...are you missing him? or do you just miss having company? someone that also laughs at the funny commercials or just someone to talk to about whatever.Sometimes just having a roomate can help with the lonliness and a few dates can help with the romance, and your own self-esteem
2007-11-16 23:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by just bored 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it depends on the situation, i am seperated w/ my husband.... trust & respect was gone... and lot of things we cant compromise..... i really feel better now....he's out of my life... no comfrontation, less problem....
and im sure i just made a right decision... to be seperated w/ him....
2007-11-16 23:32:08 · answer #8 · answered by belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess it depends on how long you were married, remember the old saying, u never miss what u have untill u dont have it, that is so true
2007-11-16 23:21:56 · answer #9 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋