We spoke on the adoption but, I didn't feel she should. we not only can't afford to, she has to girls from a previous relationship and a daughter (1yr) with me. I love her alot, but I dont find it fair to the immediate family. We no longer have time for anything.
2007-11-16 14:47:01 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well, if you love her then I would think you maybe feeling abit left out or pushed to the back burner at the moment. I think if you look at why you love her you may find the answer to your question very fast. If something happened to you and her I would think you would hope someone would be there for your child. It sounds like you may not be there for her if you leave so thats one thing you need to think about what will it do to her. There is always room for more love even if its hard there is room. It's not so easy finding love it or even fixing it once its gone or just left.
I would think that if you love her and knew she had children and another with you that two more will just make things more interesting in all ways. What a wonderful careing person it takes to take in someone elses children just like you did when you meet her so somewhere inside you I think you can understand why she has to do it and we already know you are cause you already have.
2007-11-16 19:13:15 · answer #1 · answered by luvstogamble1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I guess your getting kind of blasted in here... and as a female of course my initial reaction is to side with the children in need, but this whole thing begs the question: why would your girlfriend ignore you on such a major issue, and go ahead without regard for your feelings? She either doesn't take you too seriously or those kids are in serious enough trouble that she's willing to do anything to help them. Also, adoptions don't usually happen overnight, you must have known this was coming, why did you wait until now to decide to leave? What does that say about your relationship and the respect level the two of you have for each other? This is nothing to mess around with, there are kids at stake here, so if you weren't willing to take on the additional responsibility, why didn't you guys work this out before bringing more kids into it? It seems really irresponsible on both of your parts. And by the way, if you leave, what happens to your daughter? I hate to say it, but it seems like the commitment and respect level here is seriously lacking. Family life is not for weak relationships, it takes a serious commitment under the best of circumstances, and this is clearly NOT that. You're really not giving enough information for anyone to give you very good advice - but ultimately, no matter what the circumstances, you're the one that has to look in the mirror everyday - can you live with walking out on your family?
2007-11-17 03:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cid 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound a little selfish, and if you leave you are a coward. My ex-wife left me after I got out of the hospital from a car wreck, because it was the easy way out, pony up, grow a spine and help out your family, and nieces. Wouldn't you rather sleep at night knowing that no other person is harming someone who your wife loves dearly enough to take into your home and raise? Family helps out family, you don't cut and run when things don't go exactly as planned.
2007-11-16 22:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave, just make sure that you two make some strict rules for the house, that way things will run smoothly if you two are both on the same page. Then and only then, if things are hard to deal with at least you can say you tried, before you bailed out.
2007-11-16 23:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by mia w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time for what? though i do agree that that is a whole lot of kids, im thinking she wants the best for her nieces and nephews. i dont know the situation but she has good intentions and whose to say she doesnt consider them her immediate family. now if you leave her, then i dont know if you can really say you love her a lot because she is going to need you now more than ever. i see it through both sides though she should have respected your opinion. i dont know, can you see yourself with her raising this big family? or without her sharing time with your daughter?
2007-11-16 22:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by crabybuttcute 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So five children in all. Well it is tough but if I was in her place I would take them in too.
My sissy have 2 children too and if anything were to happen to them I already know I am the next care giver in line no matter what. No hesitating. I take them in in an instance. Its family and I love my sister and her children. I am like their second mother, therefore how could you( a life partner) stop me from taking care of my sisters children.
You are being selfish. Put yourself in her place.
2007-11-16 22:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't be a deadbeat dad. Being a single mother isn't fun, and I'm sure there is a good reason for her adopting her nieces. She needs all the support she can get, and if you love her, and you love your daughter, then it would be in your best interest to stay.
2007-11-16 22:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by Beautiful Dreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should stay.but thats your decision to make.my sister was haveing some trouble with her 2 kids.its wa almost to the point that the state was gonna take them from her.i told my Ex girlfriend that if that was to happen that i would do whatever it took for me to get those 2 kids.she didnt like that idea at all.we already had 2 kids1 was our son and the other was her daughter from a previous marriage.i told her if she didnt want me to take the 2 boys that she can leave.but i was determined that i would take them with or without her.
2007-11-17 08:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by dont want to be found 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you even have a child you live for them. So it makes no difference if you feed one mouth or three.
Why dont you just think of it a a tax benefit or actually being a considerate human helping another human?
Go back crawling on your knees and beg for forgiveness!
2007-11-16 22:51:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I think she should leave you, you're like one more kid. She did a good thing by taking her family in, where was the sisters husband? Oh I guess he ran out?
Buck up, don't be selfish, and act like a man.
2007-11-16 23:09:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋