my husband and i went on a vacation, a ski vacation, to save our marriage. unfortunately, one night, i went to get a massage, and when i came back, i found my husband in bed with one of the male hotel workers. i didnt know what to think. after pondering the thought of having a 3 some that night, i realized that this occasion may not be the healthiest for our relationship. My husband has kept in contact with this man since then, and he often visits on weekends. what do you think i should do? should i get a divorce, get serious counseling, or welcome my husbands new lover into our life. our children seem to enjoy his company and i think he is quite handsome.
i need help!
2007-11-16 14:38:54 · 31 answers · asked by watermeloniegirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get serious counseling, pronto! your husband has a lot of explaining to do.
2007-11-16 14:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by mz_neemarie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't help but ask alot of questions here......if the two of you went to help your marriage how is him finding a male companion while your away for maybe 2 hours a way of helping it? Have you known of his bi-sexuality before this? If so it seems it didn't bother you before why be surprised now? and why would you ponder a 3 way if you were not invited to begin with? Unless he set it up for you too join them.
With that being said you got your self in a pickle here ( no pun intended) but if you know it is not a healthy relationship and it's something you don't want in your life then you need to get out. But if you love this guy so much and the children are involved then you need to make a choice as to what is best for you.....It seems your thinking on accepting this 3 way if it keeps the two of you together but in the long term think of this . This one guy might be the 1st of many partners you will share with your husband take precautions. and if anything make sure you can get yours when you want it from either, if it is a lopsided deal then you need to make your own arrangements to get yours..........wow !!! good luck !
2007-11-16 15:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by thebaked 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... I would be worried about diseases not threesomes at this point. If he is screwin the help on vacation then he's probably screwing all sorts of men not too far from your home. You just caught him this time. If I were you I would get tested because you may find yourself with a heavier decision than a threesome cause the guy is Hot!! You may have to figure out who will watch the kids if you get AIDS!!! I'm not saying this to be mean but he's obviously gay and this behavior will not stop and it will only lead to more promiscuous activities in the future.
2007-11-16 14:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by just bored 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accepting your husband's lover is a total "no"....remember your marriage vows? You are your children's parent and guardian, therefore your decision today must be one that is also best for their future. Do not be blinded by the fact that they admire your husband's lover. You definitely need counseling for your marriage, but most importantly yourself. Be sure to find out from your husband what he really wants. It could be that he is experiencing a void or unmet needs, but is going about it the wrong way. It is also important to search yourself, to see if you have somehow failed him in anyway. It is necessary for your personal growth in dealing with relationship. It is often hard to forgive, but divorce should be a last resort. Nevertheless, not everyone that enters our lives were meant to be for a lifetime. Do not nag about the situation confront your husband and find out what he wants (sometimes the answer is not honest,get professional help) but be sure to seek God's guidance and trust him so that he can reveal his will to you. God Bless you.
2007-11-16 17:29:54 · answer #4 · answered by Samyjo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EEEWWWWW! kick is butt out the door, unless you are ok with this kind of thing, personally I'd hate it, I would NOT put up with a man that is a fag, that is not a healthy relationship, you need to move on, take him to court and divorce him and then you need to go get some help so you can realize this was not something even close to normal, and I'd let my soon to be ex, know that he can see his kids anytime he wants to, but he better not ever let the kids see this show of affection in front of them, unless they already know this has been happening, and they are ok with it, you go get you a REAL man and enjoy life.
2007-11-16 14:47:45 · answer #5 · answered by tiny 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
how bad do you want to maintain the relationship. if he is into guys he'll probably leave you but some times they hang around so they have a front to live with. keep the kids away from daddy'sfriend till things are more stable, if ever that happens. (did you make this up?)
2007-11-16 14:44:43 · answer #6 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out that marriage asap. Do want your children learning that kind of behavior at such tender ages. Think of them what they are seeing. Think of yourself in a love triangle and thats going to a bad end sooner or later.Thats a deathtrap.The lover is going to get tired of being just the lover and will want you out the equation permanently. If you love that kind of behavior then stay , I wouldn't involve the children in that choas.
2007-11-17 04:35:36 · answer #7 · answered by Thunder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl...!!! awww that's sicking. I don't know how would girl feel. But for guys, I think you should talk to him first if you love him so much and been married for a while. if not, just divorce and find the straight one. Gosh.. Broke back mountain for real..you should show this movie to him though. rewind over n over again. Good luck girl....
2007-11-16 14:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by Rungkit V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yessss you do need help. Ask yourself why your pondering having a threesome. And you have children.........your not thinking about them at all! Children are very moral, it's clear you've lost a lot of the morals your were born with!
The more I think about this, it's sick I hope your making this up and in that case YOUR STILL SICK!
2007-11-16 14:43:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
okay regardless of who he was caught with, male or female, he cheated on you. threesomes are not the answer. chances are it will make things only more awkward and difficult. Do not welcome your husband's "lover"....your his wife, you're supposed to be his everything....if he wants someone else, let him go. You can work some kind of visitation out with him I'm sure, but this might be best for everyone.
2007-11-16 14:59:17 · answer #10 · answered by Thora 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this a serious question?
If so rent the movie Far From Heaven with Julianne Moore.
2007-11-16 14:52:36 · answer #11 · answered by Mercedes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋