I already have 6 from 3 different women and pay over half of my income towards child support. I've never fallen behind on my payments and share custody with all my kids' moms. It just happened when I was young and dumb back high school. I had all 6 of them before I turned 19. Between college and supporting my kids, I have worked my butt off and barely had any time to spend with them. My youngest is 7 and I missed all her best years growing up. I really don't want this. I think she's got it in her head to keep it. I used condoms I swear. And she said she was on the pill but I don't believe her. I really need her to see my point of view. She's a Catholic. I suspect she thinks I'll marry her if she keeps it. I have no such plans.
2007-11-16 14:32:40 · 30 answers · asked by Sean 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have no right to ask her to get an abortion. This is a decision that is up to the woman. I suggest you get snipped since you obivously can't keep it in your pants. Stupid people should not breed.
2007-11-16 14:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
Condoms are not 100% effective; neither are birth-control pills. And that's if they're used consistently and properly. You must hold the base of the condom when you "pull-out" to prevent spillage/leakage or the condom slipping off. You must pull out immediately after ejaculation to prevent the penis from going soft and the semen from spilling out. You must put the condom on BEFORE you so much as touch the tip of the penis to the woman's vagina. Even before you ejaculate, there are usually a few drops of semen on the end of the penis (and one drop is all it takes).
Also, women must take the birth control pill at about the same time every day, and must take it every day. A late or missed dose lowers effectiveness.
So, long story short, even with condoms AND birth control pills it's possible to become pregnant.
That being said, don't do the deed unless you're willing to accept the responsibility for the consequences.
You've got six children now, and if you end up having seven, you'd better get yourself a second or a third job and do whatever you have to to support them, because you are, after all responsible.
And shame on you for trying to talk your girlfriend into aborting this baby. That's a horrible thing for you to do and a horrible choice for any woman to have to make. Be honest with her and let her know, up front, that you will not marry her but that you will pay child support if she chooses to have the child.
Also, does it occur to you that between college and working to support your other children, yes, you missed out on some of their best years. But with this child you've got another chance.
My best advice for you is to get a vasectomy to avoid fathering any future children; and then to be a man and continue to support the six you already have, and be prepared to support the seventh. A real man steps up to the plate.
2007-11-16 22:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by kyeri y 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
YOU DON'T!! Just by that comment alone shows, you want the easy way out, since you had 6 before (when you were young and dumb) as you say. Yes, you are taking responsiblety for your 6,and yes you said you protected yourself, but YOU know that alone is not 100% ! Accept the fact that you now have 7. Now you'll have some bird and the bees stories to tell your 7 children. "Learn by your parents mistakes"! Good Luck and continue being a Responsible DADDY !
2007-11-16 22:52:06 · answer #3 · answered by Oregon_Rose 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be honest with her and tell her you have no plans on marrying her, and since you already pay for six other children...she wouldn't get very much money from you so she should really think long and hard what the best decision for the child is, or if she can get other help from her family members. She is Catholic so she probably won't want an abortion but maybe she'll consider adoption if she knows she will basically be on her own. If not then you will infact have to pony up the money for child number 7 wether you want to or not. the decision is ultimately hers. Good Luck
2007-11-16 22:44:17 · answer #4 · answered by just bored 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not here to judge you or anything, and I actually believe that children are a blessing, despite the financial burden they may cause in certain situations. However, this is your 7th child! It's not credible to believe that the condom broke 7 times, unless one of your girlfriends had twins and the others did too. You need to keep it in your pants man.
Think about this, 6 kids at the age of 19? You are really moving too fast. Now you want to tell this girl what to do with her body? I actually had a a boy tell me that he had sex with over 20 something girls and that he was just cumming freely in one of them, without regard for her body. We got into an argument after he said "Having an abortion isn't hard". In highschool, I saw girls break down in the middle of class, because they had emotional backlash from having this procedure done. It may not be hard for a guy, but your not the one laying there having a surgical hoover stuck inside you, to kill an unborn child, who is trying to be here. I've never had one, but I have family members who have and still deal with the emotional pain from it. It's not fair for you to be so careless. If you were using condoms to prevent this, then it's not your fault, but if I had 6 kids by the age of 19 and no money to spend on myself or household expenses, I'd get a damn vasectomy for real.
Don't automatically take it as fact, when a girl tells you that she's on the pill. Some of them may be, but alot of women now a days, can't be trusted and figure that if they get pregnant, that you will always have to be apart of their lives, even if the relationship ends. Come on man, you have to start thinking with the head on your shoulders and not with the one in your pants. This is just not fair, to yourself, these girls, and most importantly, these kids. If you ask her to have this procedure done, not only will it devastate her, but she will feel that she was just a one night stand and may compare herself to the other girls that you did not ask to have abortions and feel less important to you than they were. I don't even know what to tell you. Your asking us to give you advice on how to crush this girl, basically. Best wishes to you!
-Knowledge24
2007-11-16 22:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dude, c'mon now. You really need her to see your point of view? Which is what? That she be willing to commit murder in order to avoid inconveniencing you? (A Catholic WILL see abortion as murder, nothing else) whether or not you marry her is irrelevant.
News flash, condoms aren't 100% effective, and this just in Birth control pills aren't either!
How can you really put all the blame on her, she didn't get pregnant by herself!
So you have seven kids now, get used to it.
As others have already said
V A S E C T O M Y !!!
2007-11-20 01:30:26 · answer #6 · answered by veggiegirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No offense - if you don't want the child, that's your choice, but if she wants it, that's hers. And she has the final say.
Let her know point blank you aren't interested in a permanent relationship - and break it off now if you don't intend to stick around. She'll make her choice on her own once she's ready.
You knew having sex meant there was a chance she'd become pregnant - protection or not, pregnancy is always a possibility. Period. Don't get upset - you play, you pay, you know how life is. It's neither her fault nor yours ... if she wasn't using protection, but you were, it still shouldn't matter. Protection was involved - and it failed.
Long story short - be honest with her, don't give her false hopes by sticking around if you aren't serious. Tell her your choice and move on. Keeping the baby, or not, is her choice.
Best Wishes
2007-11-16 22:52:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Ariana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to marry her. DO NOT ask her to abort this child. This is extremely traumatic. You are talking about a child!!! Your child!!! The baby did not ask to be conceived...be responsible and do the right thing. Every life has a plan and a purpose. You unborn child deserves to have a chance at life. I know you are confused and scared, but killing a child is not the answer. Please reconsider your thoughts. Children are a blessing from God. Congratulations on your child!!! Once you see the baby your heart will melt .
2007-11-17 01:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by metalwife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth. If you are not going to marry her tell her now. If you used condoms, maybe there is a chance that the baby is not yours. Tell her that you are not going to be responsible for the child without a paternity test. If she is Catholic she may not have an abortion. You can not force her to have an abortion so your only choice is to leave her and wait to find out what she is going to do with the baby.
Some chicks are just mental and figure a pregnancy will get them what they what, which is usually marriage. Don't waste any time showing her this is not going to happen.
2007-11-16 22:45:04 · answer #9 · answered by Queenie 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You say "It just happened when I was young and dumb back high school". Well guess what? You may be out of high school and you may be older, but your sure not dumb anymore. No, not at all. You have learned how to lie your way into a woman's pants and whine your way out when she turns up pregnant. No, that's not dumb, that's cruel, irresponsible, truly idiotic and a sign that your needs will always come first. How sad.
2007-11-16 22:43:06 · answer #10 · answered by jules 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Maybe u shouldn't have been so frivolous with ur seed, because u r definitely paying for it now. If u used a condom the whole time how is she prego?!?! It is very selfish of u to ask a women to have an abortion because YOU have 6 kids. AND!!!!
2007-11-16 22:59:33 · answer #11 · answered by Amy P 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋