I don't believe you should ever have to ask your lover to make love to her or him. I think it should be spontaneous! Don't you think so? If one wants to and the other always finds an excuse not to and you have to ask each time or make an appointment, what then???
2007-11-16 13:12:02 · 12 answers · asked by Camelot 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I haven't changed and don't think I will either. If I love someone as do my wife then it's stays the same as from day one! Find her attractive and hot and want her as I did when we first started to go out. But there's no way one should make appointments to make love, and then wait to find out if it fits the other's schedule between programs and pets! Or make you wait hours just to tell you she is "too tired and it's too late at night now".
2007-11-16 13:27:25 · update #1
As a note; I don't just base my marriage on this alone, but it gets pretty boring, and I do get pretty upset that she never tries to make love to me ever, unless I get mad at her and not talk to her for a while. If I wouldn't ask for 6 months, she wouldn't touch me for that 6 months. I feel as if I was living with a room-mate and nothing more! And most of the time unhappy about it. What would you do? We never fight but since a few years she hardly likes anything I like. 90% of movies are unreal and stupid, music is too loud, cars are polluting, etc. PS: I work on classic cars too! She won't spend the day with me at the shows anymore, too boring now, etc.
2007-11-16 13:34:41 · update #2
It depends on the couple. I have been with my husband for six years and married three. We have a very healthy and consistent sexual relationship.
I do believe yes you have to work at it and yes the sex sometimes does become schdueled, but that does not mean that you can't make it spontaneous. With any relationship, you have to be willing to put in the work.
2007-11-16 13:33:24 · answer #1 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with asking for something you want. It is nice when it's spontaneous but you can't expect it to always be perfect. If you do have to make an appointment so to speak, make the most of it. Use that time to fantasize and plan new and interesting things. Sometimes the suspense can be quite nice. It's all perspective. Good luck!
2007-11-16 13:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by J C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 28 years and he can "imply = ask" all he wants, but If I'm tired, hey I'm tired! I ask for a new car every month and don't get that. LOL. You just need to talk through this. I know it's important for my husband to have some "release" and more often than not, I have "sex" not "make love" to keep us in touch with each other. PS There are times we do "make love", usually during a special "get-way".
2007-11-16 13:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by nancie_usa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real love, and real passion .. is spontaneous.
Making love .. in my opinion - should not be done by appointment .. that sounds so cold.
And .. a person usually wants a partner who wants them back.
Partners can tell - when they have someone who wants them .. and the can tell the difference of someone who does not want them. A person should never have sex if they don't want sex .. that just turns them against it more.
Lots of times - when one partner in marriage is unwilling for sex .. there is a reason for it. It could be physical .. or even mental. What a lot of men do not realize about a woman .. is that when a man is uncaring or critizing out of bed .. a woman carries this to the bedroom with her - and is often non-responding.
Passion in a love marriage .. is wonderful.
2007-11-16 13:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me- after the early years it's hardly ever spontaneous. Your working hard- have children- and most times you just want to sleep.
Yes, it would be nice if the romance continued forever- but 95 percent of the time it doesn't and you have to work at really connecting as a couple. It's sad- but true.
2007-11-16 13:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mommyk232 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
try starting making love in the morning ..and i dont mean by having sex, fix her breakfast , give her a hug , a kiss and tell her you love her before leaving for work ... call her during the day and tell her you were thinking of her and thought you would call and see how her day was going ... bring her home a single red rose ... bring home dinner ..or take her out for dinner ..get a sitter for the kids.. bring back the romance .. the adventure ... take time for just the two of you ... get away for a weekend ..
2007-11-16 13:46:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In an ideal relationship it would be spontaneous! Unfortunately, most people get slack when they settle in to the marriage and take love for granted.
2007-11-16 13:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by Chatterbox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the wonderful world they call marriage. I'm having the same problem with my husband. He is never in the mood anymore. S h i t what is this world coming to when a man doesn't want a sure thing.
2007-11-16 13:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can't always be like that when you're married. When you're just dating, maybe the expectations of spontaneous sex are up there, but when you're married, you can't always have that synchronicity. Sometimes, as much as you hate to, you DO have to plan it!
2007-11-16 13:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
spontaneous--after 3 kids? im lucky i remember to put on my panties in the morning!
2007-11-16 13:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋