I love her but don't want to be disloyal to him. Do you think it's okay to be nice to her? I like to visit with her some and treat her like family. I can't treat her mean, she's sweet.
2007-11-16 12:55:03 · 19 answers · asked by jacquie 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
of course you can have a good relationship to her, just talk to your son about it and explain. the most important thing is communication. besides maybe the relationship can be saved, I hope so.
good luck
2007-11-16 13:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are going through a separation after a year and a half of marriage. I would like to think that if I speak to her again (she lives in a different state so no chance of running into her) that she would not treat me any differently than she used to. Just some nice conversation and some compassion would be wonderful! It's hard enough losing a husband, being beaten down more than I already have by this would be even more horrible.
2007-11-16 22:06:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she still wants to have a relationship with you after the divorce, then I don't see why your son would have a problem with that. It's so sad, but often the case that when the marriage doesn't work out between the children, the inlaws are the ones who suffer too. That's why it is important to tell your son that while you can't do anything to "fix" his marriage, you have gotten close to his wife and he needs to respect your feelings on that. God bless you!!!
2007-11-16 21:16:19 · answer #3 · answered by Virginia B (John 16:33) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should still be nice to her. Why would you change your feelings about her just because they are getting a divorce?
His feelings are not your feelings. I think that sometimes we tend to forget that family are people. Don't stop liking her just because of the situation your son has with her. Until she does something to you personally that makes you dislike her, continue to love her as a friend. Good Luck!
2007-11-16 21:29:55 · answer #4 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was divorced after 4 years and my mom still talked to my ex. It bothered me at first, but then I realized that they had had a relationship when we were married and she wasn't hurting anyone by sending him a card on his birthday. However - when I remarried I expected her to pretty much cut that off and she did....or at least I don't know about it. Whatever is fine. But keep in mind that it should probably be limited to cards, or quick chats. I wouldn't keep up a full fledged family relationship with her. And be prepared that if your son decides to remarry you may need to cut the first wife off out of respect for your new daughter inlaw.
2007-11-16 21:03:48 · answer #5 · answered by bryn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should still be nice to her if you two have a good relationship. Tell your son that you are going to continue the friendship with her. However, stay out of ANY problems between the two of them. Do not entertain her speaking badly of your son b/c that could cause major problems between you and him.
2007-11-16 21:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by Tina 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes it is okay to be nice to her, and just be honest with your son. Say look I love you dearly and I'm not taking sides, but just because you are getting a divorce doesn't mean we can't all remain friends. GOOD FOR YOU.
2007-11-16 21:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by angel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's okay. And she'll appreciate the support, too. She's already going through a rough time without the added pressure of his family being rude to her.
2007-11-16 21:26:46 · answer #8 · answered by Little Red Hen 2.0 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy all round. Just talk with your son & let him know how you feel. You don't need his permission, but it'd be nice to let him know & you can sort out the best way to go about it so it's not uncomfortable for him or your soon to be ex daughter-in-law.
2007-11-16 21:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by Jill 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your son gets testy about you being nice to her, just tell him that you understand that he is hurt, but you will not be mean to her just because he is having a bad time.
2007-11-16 20:59:31 · answer #10 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋