i feel like i do not matter to him. we have 5 children together and i have been told you do not look like you have one. I have been hit on by many men and I DO NOT GO UP TO ONE THEY COME TO ME. I always tell them I have 5 children and a husband. my husband does not care about my feelings only his. what i think is what he thinks
2007-11-16 12:51:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Where did you relationship got lost? There must have been intimacy before, if you have 5 kids together.
I am not sure how you can find a solution to your problem. Do you have financial difficulties? Maybe he is stressed at his work, maybe he is in a depression. Maybe you don't pay attention to him either. You don't give enough details for anyone to have a broader picture.
The only thing I can advice, seek a therapist, a counselor for couples, he might have a clue how you can both rekindle the love and marriage.
good luck
2007-11-16 12:57:27 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well honey he was showing you a lot of attention at one time if you have 5 kids, he has become bored with you, things are old and boring and not fresh and romantic like they were at one time, he may have him a mistress on the side, did you ever think of that ?? he probably just hasn't left because he has 5 kids and that is depending on how many to that he would have to pay child support on, if guys are hitting on you go for that,, nothing wrong with that, in fact it will make you feel like your needed again, and that is a good feeling, my marriage is the same way as yours, we hardly talk, we mix like oil and water, is is miserable, I just ran in to an old girl friend that I had years ago, we had lost touch for years, me and her are talking through email and chat, hopefully one night we will be able to go out, I need to feel needed again so bad, I'm sure that you do too !!!!
2007-11-16 13:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by Eddie B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are depending on your husband to make you happy .. which is normal. However, when us ladies do that - we often get very disappointed.
It's a man thing .. to not show attention. He probably sees you as his wife .. with 5 children .. and takes you for granted in a big way .. which happens to people who have been married a long time.
Stop depending on him to make you happy. Don't think .. what he thinks. Start doing more for yourself.
You probably do not have your husband's attention .. which is a very natural thing that happens to a lot of marriages. Again .. it is being taken for granted.
You cannot make your husband pay attention to you .. nor make him care about your feelings ... in fact, the more you try to make him do these things, and the more you mention it to him .. the worse it will probably make him do them. What you need to do is to focus on yourself .. and make yourself STOP paying so much attention to him .. and stop worrying.
Discover yourself again. Us Moms often lost ourselves .. during the time of raising our children.
SO .. find some things that make you happy. Find a hobby .. or a job .. or do yourself a make-over .. just hunt until you find something.
MAKE ... yourself not to dwell on your husband's shortcomings toward you .. it will only bring you down & hurt you constantly.
Be determined to do things for yourself .. and NOT to dwell on what your husband is doing to you .. you cannot help it .. and you cannot MAKE him do nice things to you. So .. try to discover other things to make you happy.
2007-11-16 13:18:22 · answer #3 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to him about it? I had the same problem...but, only 1 child with him. I divorced him after trying & retrying with him. I met my soulmate and have 2 daughters with him and couldn't be happier. You two may not be a match. He sounds like he has quite an ego and maybe thinks you are his property? Not good. Try to see a therapist or marriage counselor, if you wish...but, if you can, talk to HIM first and then proceed.
Take Care & Good Luck :)
2007-11-16 12:57:44 · answer #4 · answered by wi_mbr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those were some seriously lame answers. My husband travels for work and is soo busy but he always makes time for me. Sometimes we have to consiously make time for each other and plan special things for each other, but it is so worth it. Sit down with him and tell him that you would like to start planning something special for each other every week - this week is your week, next week is his week etc. It can be simple things - a massage, a foot rub, a night out, but sit down and talk it out. Make sure you do the first week so he can see the type of things you mean.
2007-11-16 13:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by bryn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you have had plenty of attention, you have 5 children , maybe he ran out of attention?
2007-11-16 12:56:50 · answer #6 · answered by crappiekat1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
u shouldnt really care that u get hit on by other men, rather why ur husband has lost interest in u--
2007-11-16 13:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what i think is what he thinks? if you two think alike, whats the problem? this is so confusing and doesnt make any sense...
by the way, you would be the FIRST woman who doesnt look like she had any children after having five. you should actually be a medical miracle.
2007-11-16 13:03:02 · answer #8 · answered by not this way 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are you doing to make him want you? Or do you think that you are sooo beautiful that he should be falling all over himself to please you? Men like to be seduced too. Step away from the mirror, pay attention to him and maybe he'll return the favor.
2007-11-16 13:26:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Humm, maybe he's not interested in you anymore.. Lots of marriage don't work out like you want em' to but most ppl stay in just for the sheer of it..
2007-11-16 12:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by Amber S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋