after 9 years of being married it is over. damm what the ****. i know i was not the perfect husband, i did ALOT of bad things, but i have done alot of good things......but the good stuff gets over looked. today is day 1 of being single....what now?
2007-11-16 12:50:27 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it will take time and emotional strength to overcome this scenario. I think you should learn from your mistakes and next time you fall in love and get a girl, make everything well from the beginning. If you lost something, and learned from it.... than it was no loss at all.
don't jump into a new relationship right away, take some time off and digest everything first. That does not mean you can not go out and have fun, but give yourself time to have a peace of mind.
good luck
2007-11-16 13:09:48 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Realize that you are now starting a new chapter in your life; one that can be full of many adventures. Learn from your mistakes and realize that it was meant to happen for a reason; one you may not find right away. You will look back on this, one day, and see that it was the best thing that could have happened, under the circumstances.
Do the things that make you feel good; your passions in life. Take some time to heal from it all; just because two people can't live together, doesn't mean there wasn't any love. Don't blame or become bitter - you are in control of your destiny; your create your future; make it a fantastic one.
2007-11-17 03:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, I was married for 18 years when my ex decided he wanted a change. There's nothing much you can do but, try your best to move on. It could take you a while before you come to terms with the break up but, you will eventually start letting go. You need to be out and about with friends and keep yourself occupied as much as you can to keep your mind of things. It is very hard I know but, there is life after divorce. Best wishes to you, I'm still getting over mine also.
2007-11-16 21:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wowo, the first day of being single. for some its the toughest day, for me it was the happiest day. LOL
what you dont do, is sit around and mope or be depressed.
you pick yourself up, kick yourself in the ***, dust yourself off
You stay single for awhile, and get yourself together and your life on track...
go see a councelor and talk with some friends - its very helpful.
go out to some clubs, have a few drinks here and there and enjoy life
Once you have yourself together and you feel like your ready to start dateing, then you move ahead to that step, and eventually youll probably find yourself another partner.
dont be suprised if the ready to date part takes a couple years,but give yourself that time to heal and move on
2007-11-16 21:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't jump into serious relationship, take sometime for yourself, do things you have done yet, sports wise or education wise. We all mistakes. I am separated right now after being married for 15 years. I can relate. Right now all I am doing is just taking time to myself, making friends and making myself stronger. Take this time to shore up your weaknesses and work on yourself. It is a time to heal. Remember to responsible for yourself and have fun.
2007-11-16 22:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by comcast23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really disgusts me that a whole bunch of dumba$$es on here are telling you to get out clubbing and basically get laid. Do you REEAAALLLLLY think, with all your heart, that is wise advise? There's a reason why your marrige failed. Marriage takes two. So it's not her fault, it's not yours, it's both of you. Take some time to figure out who you are, where you want to go and what you want in the next relationship. And I seriously recommend that you examine your heart and life and figure out what you did that helped end this marriage. Because it you don't figure that out, it could doom your next serious relationship.
2007-11-16 21:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pick up your boot straps, don't dwell on the past, make the best of the future and learn from your mistakes.........
Good luck, I was in your shoes many years ago, Take one day at a time and it will all come out in the end.....
2007-11-16 20:53:55 · answer #7 · answered by bizzymom38 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not nine years wasted, you learned and loved and now you must move on. I know you may not feel this way currently, but maybe she wasn't the "one" from this marriage you can know what to perfect in the next one, I really do wish you the best.
2007-11-16 21:02:12 · answer #8 · answered by angel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, stay single for a while and don't even date.
Give yourself a good 6 months to cool off.
Watch t.v. take yourself out to movies, and just normalize again.
Decorate your new place how you want, make it your own space... turn some music on... chat on the net...
allow yourself to feel whatevet it is you need to, get angry, get upset, feel numb.. and time will help.
2007-11-16 20:54:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way........what have you gained from this experience in terms of today and tomorrow? Knowledge, experience, discernment. They call it school of hard knocks. It sucks. Its not fun. It hurts. Its ugly.
But certainly you have some knowledge and lessons from this whole thing. Embrace that......and go forward in your life as you do so.
2007-11-16 21:34:41 · answer #10 · answered by Janet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋