I have a question about an interracial dating double standard?

Question

I've noticed more times than not, white people are encourage to date outside their race but blacks are encouraged to stick with "their own kind". And on top of that white people are sometimes seen as racist if they aren't open to interracial dating. But how do you do that if a certain number of black people encourage themselves and others to stay within their race but it's the opposite in the white community? I mean interracial dating is a two way street, each side needs to be open before it's done.

I didn't grow up around people who were against it. Actually when I told my sisters at age 12 that I didn't like black guys as dates, they sort of went on a preaching spree, lol. Since then I've definitely changed my mind and if I came across a black guy I really liked, I'd be open to dating, sex, and/or marriage. Maybe even having children by one, lol.

Answer 1

Hmm, interesting question. Well, I'll start with the first part. I think black men are encouraged to stick with their own kind because the ratio of black women to black men is like 2:1, not good odds. And, the sad fact of the matter is that we lose a lot to prison and murder. Then you have the playa's who date like 3 women at once, because they can, because every woman is so desperate for a 'good' man. Then you add in the ghetto neverdowells and you haven't got a lot of men. Then if you start to lose more to ones that will only date white woman, man, what are black women suppose to date?

I am open to interracial dating, I've dated just about every race and ethnicity out there. Right now I'm with a guy who is white and black. I think all people should be open, people are people no matter what race they are. They may come with a different culture, but underneath we all want the same things. A safe place to raise our children, love, stability, happiness, etc.

BUT, I don't find it racist if someone doesn't want to date outside their race, that is their choice. I would guess something about the idea frightens them.

Answer 2

As a person who is in an interracial relationship, I have to say there are plenty of whites who feel the same as blacks when it comes to staying within the race. I agree with you about that. Its hard for people to not see color. I had someone say to me recently oh you like black guys. I said no, I like my guy!
He and I have so much in common and we have genuine love for each other, this is not a trophy relationship. It's hard for others to understand that.
I think people are encouraged to stick to their own kind out of fear of what hate will do to you. People do things to complete strangers out of hate all the time, why target yourself dating someone that doesn't have the same skin complexion as you, I believe is their thinking. You're right being racist doesn't mean you're a white person, it could be any person.

Answer 3

Good question...I know what you mean; this is mostly true. Not all afr. amer. think this way; my family on the other hand does. They dont see that much wrong w/me dating out my race...now...because Im older and 20y.o.-and its my own decision...They cant stop me...
I didnt know most whites are encouraged to date interracially, I felt that white society was trying to 'force' blacks to date outside...I mean just look at what you see in the media now, its very open (What you said clears that up...) I really dont date outside my race; I dont know, I really dont feel a strong desire to...Its is my parents that instilled that thought of whites (or anyone-I mean ANYONE) as being UNdesirable to date.
Its sort of like 'brainwashing' but not really...I was told that blackmen are better, at a young enough age to not really DESIRE anyone else; ESPECIALLY whites(to be honest)...
It also depends on where this 'black' person was raised, I was raised around people who thought it was WEIRD to go outside and very embarassing...So I cant really shake that feeling...and its not right for me to date a white guy; while feeling slight embarassment.
Its the same with anyone else, I may see someone and say "Wow, he's a cute/fine/sexy ______ man" but if 'black' doesnt fill the blank, then I dont really DESIRE him...I just think he's physically attractive.
I was raised to NOT date only whites...ITS EVERYONE OUT MY RACE!
*Anyone of latin decent, Brazilian, African, Asian, literally EVERYONE!!!
I am going to end with saying this, I really dont see anything wrong with it,...nor is it a shock to see interacial couples...This is just my personal feelings and thoughts that are implanted in me; as a black woman.
What is funny about this, is I am open to learning about different cultures... Source(s) ♥And yes, it has to be agreed on each side! ♥

Answer 4

Remember the line from "A few good men" "You want the truth. You can't handle the truth." So I ask, can you handle the truth?
The rules are from a time when things were harder for people who dated outside there race. Today anything goes, but when I was a young girl, any girl dating outside her race was consider loose. That meant any race not just white. Now my generation is getting old and yours is making the rules so what do you want it to be? It's no longer my world I pass the keys to you.

Answer 5

When I was told by several of my friends they are having trouble meeting any good men white, black or of any other nationality. I keep telling them if they keep looking in bars they sure aren't as likely to find "good men". One of my closest friends told me one time that several other women in our church didn't like me. The reason was, I was married to a "good black man", and they were getting tired of the white women taking all the "good ones". I later said something to my husband about it and he said if they would go to school and study instead of playing, doing things to improve themselves maybe the black men would start looking at them more as wife material and less like a good time. I was shocked. He then asked me how many black women were in the group of volunteers I belonged to working with the Democrats on getting people to vote. There were in our group only counting the women. 17 white 4 black and 1 Hispanic. He then said, point made. We had met at a rally.
He wasn't rich, and didn't have a master's degree, but he was hard working, a good father, and cared about the community around us. He said what originally drew his attention to me was that I wasn't there trolling. I didn't understand what he meant at first, then it dawned on me I wasn't there to look for a husband. He said a lot of women used it as a place to find a husband. Could have fooled me, but I wasn't paying attention to them, just the job I was asked to do. As it turned out I did meet my husband there, but it wasn't untill a year later I accepted a date. We had seen each other at events but I wasn't even looking to date anyone at the time. I told my girlfriends about our date and when one had a bar-b-cue and we went together my girl friend said, you never mentioned he is black. I guess I am one of the lucky people, people I meet and associate with are people first, if they are kind and nice, second and if they have any of the same intrests third. The race someone is not one of the things I look for. But back to your question thats why right now there seems to be a push for black to only date blacks.

Answer 6

honey...there are a lot of white ppl against interracial dating like there are a lot of black ppl against interracial dating...its both sides.
I've dated some white guys and their parents flipped when they found out I was black. Before they met me in person, they talked to me on the phone in a pleasant manner, told me I sounded like a nice girl and I have a good head on my shoulders and I sound like an intelligent girl b/c of how I view things in life and what their son told them abou t me...asked me how I was doing and everything but as soon as I met them...it was a different story " omg...she's black....that BLACK girl this,that colored gal that, all black ppl are ghetto trash this and that" it was terrible. Its like they couldn't believe that a white boy/man(their son) couldn't have anything positive to say about a black girl/woman and we couldn't have an intelligent conversation on the phone or something

OH I AGREE WITH THAT DEAD GIRL...SHE MAKES SENSE