What kind of guy says this to his pregnant wife???

Question

the way my husband speaks to me is just wrong...I'm 8.5 months pregnant and last night I asked him to clean up his laundry before he left for his trip...well, that turned into him telling me how "worthless" I am. Going on saying "my family doens't even like me" nor do "I have no friends, and the ones that I have don't like me." That "no one would ever want to be w/ me...and he doesn't know how he puts up w/ me!" I just wonder who would say that to the woman carrying his child!!? I want to leave him but thank God he is gone till Monday...I just wish I had a normal life and husband...unfortunately I married young and now wish I could start all over. Please give me some insight!?

THANKS ALL!

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry that you're having to hear all these negative things. I believe he's saying these hurtful things to you because that's his way of controlling you. He probably thinks that by saying these things to you, you will think how lucky you are that HE wants you when no one else does. Don't believe it for a second!!! You are not worthless! What you asked him to do is perfectly normal, not only because you're 8.5 months pregnant, but because he's a grown man and should pick up after himself.

I understand what you're saying about being young when you married, and how you wish that you could start all over. Unfortunately, we can't do that. You have to think about the life within you that's getting ready to come into this awful situation. Do you really want this kind of life for your child? If your husband is treating you so badly, think of what it's going to be like for your child.

There are many options you have. If you have a family member that you and your child could stay with, I would go stay with them for a while. If you don't have anyone in your family to turn to, then seek help from a pastor. If you don't presently belong to a church, ask some of your friends who go if it would be okay for you to meet with their pastor. Make an appointment with the pastor and explain to him what's been happening. You really need solid counselling from someone you can trust. He may even be able to point you to community services which could help you and your child with housing and financial support.

Please, please don't allow your husband to continue "beating up on you" verbally and psychologically! You deserve better!
God bless you!!!

Answer 2

Sounds as though he is either nervous about being a father and going about it the wrong way, or just doesn't want a child. Please try and find out which it is. If it is the latter, you might want to separate for a little while. Have the baby in the meantime. Maybe the absence will make his heart grow fonder.

If it is the first, you two should sit down and talk about this situation. There are things he and you can do to learn how to be parents. There are classes and such. Bring in a third person if needed.

Good luck and have a great night.

Answer 3

It sounds like he is overwhelmed with the whole wife, baby thing. How much truth is there to what he says. When someone tells us something we don't like to hear it is important to sift out the stuff that was said in anger that has no value from the stuff that we may need to change. When a woman is pregnant the first time, their thoughts are usually turned quite inward with their new experience and it is easy to overlook the needs of their mate. You will have to keep things balanced and include him if you can in what you are feeling and going through. Often with the first baby there is one-sided conversation. Many men don't know what in the world to do with a new baby until he or she gets older and can interact with them. Many men show their love by going to work. Women like to be loved and men like to be respected. You are together for a reason and there are things you both need to learn from each other. Any marriage takes give and take and are a lot of work. My prayer for you is that you and your husband can really connect and begin communicating (not yelling or controlling)with each other like adults. I pray for your little baby that will be stressed out within the womb if you guys fight and you are upset. Sing a little song for the baby from this ole Granny .

† Heaven Bound Prayer Warrior †

"Look up for your redemption draweth nigh". Mmm

Answer 4

Dear lalalaz,

Let me assure you that you are not worthless!
I wonder if your husband is projecting his own deficiencies upon you.

I haven't had a chance to read all of the answers yet but I definitely agree with what Steinbeck11 shares.

While your husband is away I encourage you to take a look at The Father's Love Letter which you can find at http://www.fathersloveletter.com Read it over and over and over during the next few days and as often as possible during the days leading up to your baby's birth.

God bless you and your family,
JOYfilled

Answer 5

Hi,
This is very definitely ABUSE..

Let me ask you , would you take that kind of junk from Your Mom, or Dad, or Sister, or Brother, or Cousin, Or the neighbor ??? Then WHY would you take it from him?

You need to pack and get out, now. He is going to start hitting soon. Do you want your child to grow up in that kind of environment?

You are the mom, Be a Mom. You should be think of your child. >> If he says that kind of stuff to you NOW, how does your defenseless child stand a chance. IT WILL NOT GET BETTER...

You must run from this situation.. He will hurt you and your kids.. The stress he is dumping on you is affecting your baby now and it isn`t even born.. Please think of the baby.. It surely doens`t deserve to live like that..

Life is NOT suppose to be like that.> EVER!!

Peace & God bless from Texas <><

Answer 6

It doesn't matter if you are pregnant or not. He shouldn't talk to you like that regardless. Why did you get pregnant if you are in a marriage you regret?? And hey, if you want to start over then do it.

Either find a way to make it work or leave. If he really is that emotionally abusive then you are not obligated to stay. No one should put up with that, and now you are dragging an innocent child into the picture. For your child, leave.

lb

Answer 7

He sounds just like and I mean just like my ex-husband. My ex-husband said these exact word's to me. Don't think he will out grow it. As long as he gets away with saying these things he will keep it up. This is emotional abuse. He is controlling you this way. Sometimes it is a first step before physical abuse sometimes not. Either way mental abuse is very hurtful! Get some counseling as soon as the baby is born. If he will go with you fine, but don't count on it. I stayed for 10 years, then left. I went back to school and I became a Counselor for abused women then later a Christian Counselor for hurting & abused women.I never looked back! I let him see his son's even tho he never paid a penny of child support, but I flew high and proud! I still am! No man will ever wear down my self worth ever again!

Answer 8

He has some issues

My ex husband used to say appalling things to me too, but he was a cocaine user. I partly blame that.

I have no idea how someone could be so hurtful to the woman they have married and who is carrying their baby. Hang on in there girl, get that baby delivered safe, gather your strength back & leave him.

Is that how he is going to speak to you infront of the child? What will your child learn from that sort of behaviour?
LEAVE him soon. Then he'll know the meaning of worthless. He'll be looking at it, in the mirror.

Good luck with the baby & your future X

Answer 9

He sounds like an arrogant selfish pig that doesn't deserve you and is entirely too disrespectful.
Karma's a b****, and he'll pay.
But, in the meantime, maybe you should stay with some family or a close friend.. because with you being 8.5 months pregnant, you have to be careful and don't want to stress too much.
Right now, it's best to get away and after you have a healthy baby then take action.. I don't think he's a good husband.

Answer 10

Are you not both equals when you agreed to marry. If either of you thinks the other is less than equal. In the eyes of the the law the marriage is taken to be null and void and as if it has NEVER existed. Ask him if you are equal to him. If not then just leave as your marriage is a sham in the eyes of the law. A man takes lawful title to own his wife's body in a marriage trust contract. However if he has such low self worth that he speaks his lore against his own wife, then he cannot take responsibility for administering the issue of children from the marriage trust.