is it really so horrible during that time of the month?

Question

Avril Lavigne says in the song "I hate it when a guy doesn't understand why a certain time of month, I don't want to hold his
hand".

once my friend didnt wanted to talk with me on msn because she was in that time of the month. later she said she was angry and she was affraid that she would say something that would hurt me, so she didnt talked with me.

is it really so bad? so I'll meet my love and when she will be in that time of the month, then she wont hug with me or cuddlle with me or talk with me???? this can hurt me, one small rejection and I'm already in tears. I thought I'm that sweet guy that would make them to feel better during those things, but my friend still didnt wanted to talk with me. is it really so bad?

some guy said here on Y!A, that his girlfriend always gets mad at him during that time of the month.

Answer 1

I'm glad I'm not on my period right now, or my answer would be really monstrous.. lol. It truely is bad for some women, don't cry. Seperate from the pains in all random parts of your body and surges of tears for no reason, the simple fact is: your bleeding from your freakin vagina! Its not fun. You get bloated, you feel ugly, your pissed off and men around you ask "are you on your period?" and it makes it worse. Just step lightly and know that its not her, its the big bad red gila monster.

Answer 2

Yes it's really that bad, but everyone is still responsible for his or her own words and actions. If your friend said she wasn't feeling well and didn't feel like talking, I think that's fine. It's better than her saying something hurtful to you.

The best way to let a woman know she can count on you for support would be to listen to her and back off when she's feeling bad. Eventually she'll see that you're not judging her, that you understand how she feels, that you're willing to give her space and she might be more inclined to let you hug her or comfort her when she feels bad. It takes time to build that kind of trust with a person. You can say you're a sweet guy, but you have to be her sweet guy before she'll want to be close during that time of month. It can be very intense for some women.

Answer 3

Well it isn't "that bad" for all women, but for some it truly is. About 75% of women have PMS symptoms, but 5% of those women have a related condition that is far more extreme. (Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder). It causes actual bio-chemical depression, of which the symptoms include extreme mood swings, anger, irritability, emotional hypersensitivity, anxiety, along with bodily symptoms such as pain, weight gain, headaches, diarrea, cramping, fatigue, dizziness, etc.

I'm one of those 5%. Thankfully, this all passes a few days after the period actually begins. But the window of time where one is affected is about five to seven days before the onset of the menstrual period and two to four days after the onset: for a total of about a week and a half or so. I try and stay away from people during this time so that I won't negatively affect them with my irritable moods. My ex-husband used to joke that I wanted a divorce him once a month. (True, too.) I do want to stress the fact that women who have this condition are not acting irrationally, even if they have extreme mood swings. The fact is, if they are upset, there really is something to it. There's an increased inability to "hide" or suppress these emotions during that time, but it doesn't mean those feelings are invalid or have no real basis. They do. For example, I really did want a divorce from my ex, but 3 weeks out of every month I was "successful" at repressing this issue- however, during the time of depression, (one week out of the month) I could not suppress these feelings. I would verbalize them. My ex mistakenly believed that the feelings only existed during the depression period, because that's when I would talk about them. So be careful not to invalidate your friend's feelings. If she says she needs to be alone with her thoughts, let her be.

Answer 4

All women are different. Some don't have much of a problem at all, some women have extreme symptoms. Most women aren't too bothered by the symptoms, but some women do have terrible trouble with the physical discomfort and the hormone shifts.

Her anger is caused by hormones, not because she's feeling sad. It would be like trying to "cheer up" someone who is clinically depressed. It wouldn't work, because the problem isn't the person's mood, it's in imbalance of chemicals in the brain.

She was showing that she values your friendship by not wanting to interact with you at just that time.

Answer 5

Yes. For me it can be painful. When I am in pain I am easily angered. Sometimes is best to just be alone and sleep it off. Sounds horrible, but bleed from your crotch and tell me the world is still wonderful.

Most the time it's not painful so it's not too bad. Some women are able to deal with it better than others. With a good woman you would never be able to tell she was on by her wood. The ones that can't hide it should be nice enough to stay away.

Answer 6

Sometimes I breeze through it, other times(like the last few days) I've felt very irritable for no reason and teary, so I tend to keep fairly quiet when that's happening.
Was so irritable yesterday that even the sound of someone merely pouring a drink into a glass would raise the hackles on my back.

Answer 7

I don't get moody then, but I do get REALLY sick. And when I'm sick, I don't want to talk, i don't want to move! And sometimes i don't want to eat either.
The headache comes complete with a high fever that leaves me laying in bed thinking "well this sucks" cuz there's no room for any other thought. Movement makes the pain worse, and I'm afraid to eat cuz puking with a fever is worse than the fever!
You can bring some soup, but don't be surprise if I spend more time holding it than eating it. You can try to cuddle with me, just don't shake the bed when you get in it. And don't expect me to talk back!

Answer 8

Yes, it is that bad.I have every symptom in the book. Not really even the same person during that time. Please be as understanding as you can, that does help. If she is like me, she'll be back to normal when it's over. Sorry, just a thing that happens. I do try very hard to control myself and not say anything I'll regret.

Answer 9

Okay, well, some girls handle it differently than others..."that" time of the month makes girls emotional, moody, and irritable. It doesn't mean the girl you will be with in the future, or now, will be like that, but it's common. And yes, it's really frustrating for girls because guys can't relate to that time and they seek understanding.

Answer 10

Sometimes it is that bad that we just don't want to talk or even be around someone even co-worker's, it's just the way we are. Just try to understand and give that person space otherwise your feelings will probably be hurt worse.