My parents control my life!?

Question

My parents control ever aspect of my life, just alil background info about me, im a good kid, i dont really smoke or drink, i do good in school (actually i skipped one year im in college even though im 17) and i am generally a nice person. My parents are insane, they will not give me even a little bit of freedom, they restrict me from going out past 10 pm, they restrict the amount of friends i have (i only have a few like 5) They wont let me have a girlfriend or any friends that are girls for that matter (i have to keep those secret from them....), my dad has the habit of embarrassing me when im in a weak spot, for example if my friend is over he will bother and humiliate my friend to embarrass me and possibly make my friend hate me. I HATE THIER CONTROL!!!! i JUST CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE AND I CANT AFFORD TO MOVE OUT!!!! what can i do???

first of all thank you all for your answers, i honestly cant pick a best answer all of the answers have been helpful. As for Katie I don't smoke or drink i might have tried them once or twice but generally i don't do Either of them, and i have to keep a secret from my parents about having girls that are just friends because they disapprove of this which is honestly irrational, anyways thank you for taking things out of context.

Answer 1

Suck it up! Until you are old enough and make enough to support yourself, you are at their mercy! You should feel bad about talking bad about them, after all they do for you. You are ungreatful!

Answer 2

Get a job and then save some money and move out. When you are 18 you can tell them to shove it. They legally have no say in what you want to do. If you are in college go live in a dorm. That will get rid of them for a while. Then you can take drugs and binge drink. You can have sex with every girl you want. Most guys who were kept from doing anything usually go berserk the first time they have some freedom. I did. Just don't get hooked on drugs or alcohol. So many of my friends are non drinkers and can't enjoy a nice bottle of fine wine or go to a wine tasting because they became alcoholics. Then the ex druggies are all big time right wing Christians who are annoying as Hell. Had they done things right they would not be so obsessed trading one crutch for another. Try to be balanced have fun but play it safe don't over do things. It's not worth it. Be smart and get a passion to create something that matters. That's what makes a guy like Bill Gates who he is today.

Answer 3

You sound like a really good kid and you probably did your best because your parents would except no less. As a parent, I understand that it seems like control but they have given you age appropriate slack (you probably couldn't stay out until 10 when you were younger. Don't be in such a hurry, there is plenty of time for girlfriends when you are ready to start looking for a wife. I will say your dad is out of line when he treats your friends w/o respect. Make the best of your situation by not bringing friends over and enjoying your time when you are out. As long as you live in your parents home you must play by their rules to keep peace. They are providing for your needs until you can afford your own place. Get involved with a college group at a local church - they will help you to be connected with others going through like situations and the leader can offer you encouragement and hope. I hope this helps - you need patience and time - you have a bright future. Keep up the good work.

Answer 4

Explain to them that you feel like they are doing more than trying to help you have a good future they are making you rebel against them. Explain to them that no matter what they say or do they won't be able to protect you through life. Let them know that if they think they have done a good job of raising you then they should be able to trust that you will make good decisions in life, but cause if you don't learn now. You will wind up learning at an older age when there are a lot more consequences. Explain the only way to learn is to make mistakes and learn from them. I understand where you are coming from. Try to make a deal with them to let up a little and if you keep your grades up and don't get into trouble to let up more and more. So that they can see your not a child anymore you are a young adult. Good Luck!

Answer 5

"I don't really smoke or drink"; "I have to keep those secret"... maybe this is why they don't trust you; you do smoke and drink (there is no "not really" about smoking, you do or you don't; one cigarette is enough to hook you) and you keep secrets from your parents of things you know they'd disapprove of. It's possible you do this because they're so controlling; but it's possible that they're so controlling because you've given them indicators not to trust you.

Best I can think to suggest: sit down and talk with them. Tell them that you feel overly restricted for your age, and why you think you should be able to do certain things. Ask your father why he treats your friends the way he does, and why it bothers you. Most importantly, don't whine; parents will tune you out if they think you're just whining (and rightly so).

If that doesn't work... then move out. Yes, I know that you say you can't afford to; but it's your choice. Live by their rules while you live off their money, or find a way to fend for yourself and live by your own rules (and of course society's!)

Answer 6

You need to chill first and some day you will look back and laugh at this. I have been there like all of us over 30. and it is funny now. Your parents just love you and you are still a kid even though you don't think you are. When you finish school and get a job (I advise college first) get your own place and you won't have them to embarrass you. It's a part of life and you need to rant once in a while. But don't let it get too serious, family is very important and one day you will find that it is. good luck

Answer 7

Well, from an objective point of view, as long as you are dependant on them, they get to call the shots, yes. Such as the fact you are living in their house. This alone means you are dependant on them for shelter. And the fact that they pay the bills. This means you are financially dependant on them. Until you both move out and support yourself, other than live on their money, there's pretty much nothing you can do about that. Even if you did not live at home...if they were helping pay your apartment rent, or what have you, they'd still have leverage on you. No, they don't control your life, but they do call the shots, as long as both, or either of the two above (Living at home with them, and/or them paying the bills) are the case.

Answer 8

Unfortunately as long as you live under their roof, they'll "claim" they have the "right" to dictate your life. So sorry to hear what you're going thru. Is there anyway you can live elsewhere, with a relative or someone else who can support you? Once you turn 18, can't you move out legally?

You'll have to support yourself if you're in college -- can you get a job while in school, or work at the university so that your tuition is reduced, or get some scholarships, or grants? I supported myself all through college with student loans, scholarships and grants, and financed ALL of it. Talk to your financial aid office. Their associated lenders are happy to lend you money, if you don't qualify for grants and such, as long as you know that you have to pay it back -- and you will once you get a job. Some loans are interest deferred, others you pay interest until you graduate, then start principal payments 6 mos after graduation. (you get about 5 yrs, or longer, I believe, to pay loans back). But definitely continue college, don't drop out.

Sounds like an impossible environment. Have you talked to your parents about it? They have to realize that because they want to look out for you by controlling your life, you won't want to love them anymore. It'll be their loss. If you have talked to them to no avail, can you try to avoid them (stay at the university) until you can move out? And are of age? You're very smart, so good luck with your decision!

Answer 9

Talk to them about it tell them how u feel. They lived their life and now its time for you to live yours. They use excuses like i dnt want you to make the same mistakes i did. But you need to make mistakes thats how you learn from them, They cant keep you from doing everything. Your in college they should be proud and give you a little bit more freedom. Most teenagers are still in High School

Answer 10

Get a job and get an apartment or somthing like that.I hope u get some freedom.Also im a 12 year old so im totally controlled so i just deal and move on.The main thing is there just being toal butt heads.Tell them how u feel and tell them what u want to do in your life and how u feel about being contorlled.Thats my advice well im glad t help.See ya later!!

Answer 11

Save up your money. when you have 3,000 USD, then move out on your own. You are still viewed as a child till you turn 18. SO that gives you a year to save up that much money.