i cheated on wife i didnt have sex of any kind with the girl but i hert her so bad that she had got drunk and had sex with her x-s to make me mad.she applogized for that .now i want to prove to her i want her back help please
2007-11-16 09:56:04 · 19 answers · asked by michael w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the x-s was her babies dad hes my son now cense he was 9 mouth old she said she couldent stand the guy 10yrs later out of rage she saysshe does this.see i left on a trip and she thowt i was with the girl i wasnt i was with the guys.she didnt believe me so out of rage for me u know that i hert her so much she did that we dated 9yrs married 1.all i did with da girl is kiss her see her at her lunch break. she was hert i went on da trip i needed to clear my head
2007-11-16 10:23:24 · update #1
First step, learn how to communicate! I can't understand what you are trying to say!!
2007-11-16 09:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by chicho77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you want her back? And are you sure she wants you? If you both are willing to move past the infidelity/issues, however big or small, I'd talk to her and ask her what it would take. Perhaps suggest a weekend away to reconnect, or if it's a trust issue, talk with a counselor to develop some strategies. Were you happy before all this happened, or were there past issues? You really need to consider everything, and make a decision that's best for the both of you. Whatever the outcome, I wish you the very best of luck and happiness.
2007-11-16 18:01:50 · answer #2 · answered by mstatl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will have to show her that you are sorry(words do not cut it), actions speak louder than words. Do you have any idea why you felt the need to look elsewhere for satisfaction/gratification? You will have to really examine yourself to understand why it happened and how you can be sure that it won't happen again. then you will have to convince her. Making her and her preferences a priority above and beyond yourself is absolutely necessary as well. How do I know? My husband cheated on me with someone who was half my age(legal but barely) when we had been married for 10 years, it is what worked for us. We are still married 26 years later. Lastly, she gave in to the urge to be vindictive and seek revenge by retaliating in kind, it may be hard to believe but that may have hurt her more than what you did. I thought it about it long and hard many times, but just couldn't give myself to some one I didn't have a strong emotional bond with. For that I thank GOD. I suggest you pray as well, there is no defense against prayer. It helped me keep my sanity through the roller coaster of emotions I had to cope with, anger, hurt, sadness, grief, frustration as well as the inability to relate(I really believed our marriage was at one of it strongest periods before I found out about the affair).
Edit:
We didn't get counseling, but should have. Make sure if you go to counseling you are both comfortable with the counselor. Don't be afraid to change counselors until you find the right one. It might have shortened the 2 year recovery period. It is not going to happen overnight, are you okay with working that hard for that long to restore you marriage? feel free to e-mail me if I can be of more help. I will pray for you and your situation. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-11-16 18:14:06 · answer #3 · answered by Noelle M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no specific thing you can do... you must prove to her though your actions that you have changed and will not hurt her again. Be a kind, considerate, faithful person and then let time do it's work. If she's willing to move on, great. If not, accept the fact that you lost her, remember your hard-learned lesson, and move on with your life.
2007-11-16 18:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Elaine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you did not have intimate relations, then how are you guilty of cheating on her? It sounds like she did something just has bad by doing what she did! You both need to get some counceling!
2007-11-16 18:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about trying telling her the truth and nothing but the truth. And no more games for the both of you!! Life is way to short to be doing all of this. Good luck and God Bless!!!
2007-11-16 17:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by Cindy Roo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems you both might be confused on being faithful, no matter one wrong does not might it right. I would suggest counseling. It seems you two like to play games,and this time you went too far.
2007-11-16 18:03:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I played this game, and we even moved from the midwest to florida to try a new environment to patch it up...we were done for good six months later.
2007-11-16 17:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by primalclaws1974 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ho man that's sucks I donut think the relation ship its going to work anymore the two of you are not going to trust etch ether so let this to be a lessen but its after you man good luck with this man
2007-11-16 18:01:28 · answer #9 · answered by kane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but that is f*n disgusting! No matter WHAT you did to her that was JUST MORALLY WRONG AND DISGUSTING! If she was a mature adult and knew what love was then she would have just broke up with you and tried to move on, but going and doing something like that...is just wrong. I don't think you would want to be with someone like that anyway.
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Kassy
2007-11-16 18:09:12 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Kassandra♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first off if you didn't sleep around so why did she go around being a slut ?? Im sure u did wrong but u claim to NOT have cheated so why did she? maybe you should find someone that your positive doesn't have an STD!
2007-11-16 18:01:38 · answer #11 · answered by annette_199 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋