You've heard this expression "marriage is hard work." Last night my husband was talking to someone newly married and he was saying it's hard work, a full-time job, blah blah blah. I said "hey, I'm SITTING right HERE! and if it's that hard who needs it?" and he retorted "yeah, but you're high maintenance!" He's not wrong about that, but I don't think it's hard work! Sure, making toast every morning sucks and it's true that I'm the taker in our relationship, but good grief - if it really was hard work who'd want it?
So what do you think - IS marriage (in general) hard work?
2007-11-16 09:50:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, I didn't mean to make this sound so serious. I actually thought the whole thing was rather amusing.
2007-11-16 10:00:04 · update #1
Hey, I DO give! I said I make toast, didn't I? Really people, this was meant to be a lighthearted question! I think it can be work in the beginning - you have to get used to each other. But after 16 years it shouldn't be that difficult. Not WORK - effort and compromise, but not WORK.
2007-11-16 10:06:03 · update #2
Hey, I DO give! I said I make toast, didn't I? Really people, this was meant to be a lighthearted question! I think it can be work in the beginning - you have to get used to each other. But after 16 years it shouldn't be that difficult. Not WORK - effort and compromise, but not WORK.
2007-11-16 10:06:08 · update #3
I guess I really meant that last statement! LOL *mutters stupid Yahoo under her breath*
2007-11-16 10:07:00 · update #4
It's never been hard work for us and it bothers me when people say it is. I think many people just say that because they've heard other people say it. It was little hard the first year, getting past preconceived notions of what marriage is like and finding our own personal style, but since then it's been very easy. As long as we both keep the other person's needs in mind, it's great! Then everyone gets what they want/need and we stay connected.
2007-11-16 10:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by Erin B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Respect and understanding is key. Your husband love you. But stress can end any relationship. I am sure stress is not new to you, but when you are stressful you tent to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, right? So let's say you have a bad day and your husband has a bad day, wrong words are said and he explode. Would that make you happy? Like you said you are the taker in the relationship, but I am sure you do give something to him as well. So maybe you can take a step forward. Making the stress a little less for him. Maybe that would help. For example: if he pick you up from work. Maybe you can drive to work yourself.
Just little things here and there. It should help.
2007-11-16 09:59:28 · answer #2 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is hardwork
but it's satisfiing hard work when you look at what your working hard for and love what you work hard for
keeping food in the house a roof
making happy when sad picking them up when down
making it better when it hurts
making them well when they are sick.
it's a 24hr job when you are dedicated to the one you love
if not it easy
im sick...see a doctor
i cant pay rent..why tell me
i had a bad day....what else is new
im hungry......go to the store
it not hard work when you dont care about the next person
dont look so deep into the statment because it he didnt like the job he would quit.
see the love inbetween now the high maintence part your on your own with.
2007-11-16 10:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage can be hard work, but its the the tings that you work hard for in life that are worth something. God last night I was up until midnight cooking. I needed to make enough curry chicken for my job then i had to make two dinners in advance, because i was working over time and tommorrow I have to go to my favorite cousins funeral. I'm working a 12 hour day I'm beat I'm going to have to go home and help my husband rub out his muscles because he has cp. but at the end of the day It was a great work luchon and my husband will hold me and make tomorrow seem less horrible
2007-11-16 10:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by sarah W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is especially now a days. Everything needs hard work or we wouldn't be complaining. You already admited that your high maintenance so that's a good thing. Maybe he just needs an attitude adjustment and you need to come down to earth a little. Good luck!
2007-11-16 09:54:59 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in a way it is. You need to keep things going like communication, spending time together and intimacy. Sometimes these things can just take a little more extra effort then they used to. I wouldn't take to much offense because it's isn't always easy to keep the man you love happy that takes a little bit of work too.
2007-11-16 09:56:03 · answer #6 · answered by Babe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's hard work. And you should be grateful your husband is still with you for talking like that. Stop taking and start giving. Marriage is like a bank account, if the both of you give, it will grow and strive. If one give and one takes only, it will run dry one day.
2007-11-16 10:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really have to say no, it's not. It was in the beginning, but that's because I was making it harder on both of us than it really needed to be. Being a parent is hard, but being partners in life and love is not hard. If it is hard, you might want to look into why it's so hard.
2007-11-16 09:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by lupinesidhe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey you both have to give 100% to the relationship or it wouldn't be evenly yoked! What do you mean you are the taker? Think you need to talk in private to your husband - he obviously has some unmet needs in this marriage.
2007-11-16 09:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is hard work. Somedays I don't feel it is worth it. You shouldn't take offense to your husbands comment. Any life long relationship is hard work.
2007-11-16 09:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by Zoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋