Please don't take this question as silly. It is somewhat difficult to control myself. I am afraid that I will get attracted to other girls after marriage ,may be after a period of time .. What should I do to avoid such incidents ? I am 29 now , planning to get married soon.
2007-11-16 09:20:17 · 14 answers · asked by tough_guy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course you will get attracted. The thing is, you have a choice to *not* do anything about it. If you feel an attraction and you make the decision to not pursue it, over time the lust will fade.
This is what commitment means. It doesn't mean never feeling a temptation again, it means choosing to honor your commitment not to act upon the temptation, because you care about the feelings of your wife and you deeply value the relationship you have chosen to be in.
2007-11-21 03:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in some ways it is a silly question, I'd be a total idiot to think my husband doesn't get attracted to other women, but that's where it begins and ends. I find other men attractive, big deal. It's all about your behavior and actions. Do you have to pursue a woman you find attractive? OF COURSE NOT.....what makes you think the 'thought' that a woman is attractive is a bad thing?
Remember, it's all in your choices, behavior, control, character.....surely you have those qualities? Or are you one of those people who must give in to every impulse and 'feeling'? If so, don't get married.
2007-11-16 09:27:57 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't go out in public is really the only serious solution.
But if you know this is going to bother you so much, perhaps you're not ready to get married. Yeah you can find other women attractive, that's fine, but you seem like you're really worried about finding them attractive and acting on your attraction by talking to some woman, and attempting to get her in the sack.
But you're aware of your problem, thats a good start. reevaluate how you really feel about your bride to be and make a decision. you're either ready to settle down or you're not. There are no in betweens.
2007-11-16 09:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by Sean C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is fine to be attracted to other people when your married. What is not fine is acting on that. How then to avoid cheating? Be sure to keep things in your marriage spicy. New postions, role play, ect. Whatever it takes. Also be honest. Married couples should be able to talk about anything. Best of Luck and Congrats on your upcoming wedding.
2007-11-16 09:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attraction is a natural part of being a human, and you will be attracted to other girls after you are married....BUT...you can't even entertain thoughts of infidelity!!
Seriously, you can't control yourself? You can't stick to your values? You have to decide to not cheat, and then for the rest of your life, DON'T CHEAT. Because that's all you can do, really. If you think that you are incapable of doing this, then don't get married.
2007-11-16 09:31:27 · answer #5 · answered by MaryJane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard for sure. I tend to be too much of a window shopper myself. Been married 16 years. We are very solid right now.
I think having little crushes or attractions is just normal human nature. I know my wife has had one or two.
The problems come in when you seriously act on those crushes or attractions. Totally spells disaster.
Luckily neither one of us are the super jealous type. My wife is somewhat, but I think she just knows the type of woman I find attractive.
Bottom line, checking out the menu is fine, just don't dine; leave it alone, eat at home!
2007-11-16 09:28:47 · answer #6 · answered by JoelMacDad 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You will be attracted to other women from time to time - that's Mother Nature and there's nothing you can do about it. But the thing which IS entirely in your power - whether you will be acting on these attractions.
2007-11-16 11:29:40 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Speaker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow sounds like your not ready for marriage don't get married tell you can restrict yourself if your love the person your with now then you should not have to worry about restricting yourself everything you want should be in front off you ....its okay to look everyone does it ...it is human nature but to get attracted to others you not ready for marriage yet
2007-11-16 09:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by just bored 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't. You still will be attracted to other girls. What you need to do is take the commitment of marriage seriously.
Until you can do that, do not get married.
Good luck.
2007-11-16 09:23:49 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have this feeling that you'll be attracted to other girls, and don't trust yourself... then don't get married... what's the point?!
2007-11-16 09:49:35 · answer #10 · answered by Nay nay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋