My relationship. Serious answers please?

Question

Alright, I've been with my bf 6 months.
He is deployed to Iraq right now.
Before he was deployed we were sooo in love and everything was perfect, after he was deployed we rarely talk, he doesn't call me, only emails me about having sex with me and has totally ignored my emails about Christmas and important things.
Yesterday I sent him a message on myspace.com asking him if he was okay and that I had sent him a christmas package.
Well he read it and didnt even reply, this morning i got an email about sex from him. that's it.
I havent gotten a call from him in two weeks and he seems like doesnt care, he goes online and doesn't even tell me if he's okay.
So my question is should I leave him or should I stay?

Answer 1

First of all I wouldn't listen to half of what these people are saying, because unless you've been there as I have you have no idea what goes on there. And he's been gone a while, you know there's a big time difference between there and here and its hard at times. Its like a relationship where both people are working, but you've got one who works night shift and one who works day shift, very rarely see one another. As you know he's probably awake when you're sleeping, and sleeping when your awake. And believe me, depending on how many hours a day he's working he could be really tired, like myself I worked anywhere from 12-14 hours a day when I was there, started at 1800 hrs. and got off at 0600 hrs. Then go eat breakfast, take a shower and then get to sleep, so depending on how long the lines are for breakfast and the shower I'd say another hour to hour and half before actually getting to sleep. Unless he's got a cell phone, the lines are just as long as well, if not longer specially with the holidays coming up, I remember standing in line for an hour maybe even longer to talk to my wife for 10 minutes, you know as well as I do those phone cards don't last long charges you and arm and a leg. At the same time, the holidays are coming up, you know how much it sucked to be without your loved ones for Thanksgiving and Christmas, its hard. And to tell you the truth, as far as him mentioning sex you have to realize that he's in a country where such things as pornography are forbidden, you can get charge with things like that. I'm not saying it's right if he is looking at it, he probably misses you very much-maybe it hit him all at once specially if this is his first time away from you overseas. I mean I thought about sex with my wife a lot as well, but that was because there was nothing I could do about it, was about 7 months later that I finally went home on leave. To tell you the truth I think if he was messing around with someone else, he'd never even bring up sex because there'd be no need if he was alreayd getting some; that's just me though. But hang in there a little and try and talk to him, you may have an idea of what goes on there, but that's very little. Believe me, we don't tell our wives, or in your case girlfriend everything because we don't want you to worry about us, even though you still do, the conditions we live in and everything else we put up with. Believe me one of the worse things you could do is tell him you don't want to be with him anymore. Right now he should be focused on why he's there without having to worry about other things at home, although yes we do worry about things at home; but my point is that he could end up getting himself hurt, or someone else hurt, or even killed if he's mind is somewhere else. There's a lot there to deal with, specially if you lose a friend. Now we never lost anyone while we were there, but then a few months later had a friend volunteer to go back and he was killed a few months later by an IED, still hits home you know. Give it some time.

Answer 2

Have you ever thought that maybe thinking of you in a sexually way helps easies the woes and stress of being over there it's not like he is at a hotel spa. Maybe he doesn't want to get distracted with all the things he is missing out on? If you decide to leave him at least have the guts to let him know why and see why he treats you that way 1st. His life and those around him depend on it(can't have a love sick man next to another solider thinking about y'all break up and not on his surroundings)

Answer 3

fallow your heart, you already have all these red flags going up, sounds like a lot of justifications of why you should leave him and move on, even if he's in Iraq and blah blah blah...its up to you to choose what you want to do, but sounds to me like you already know the answer to your questions! and whether he's in Iraq or not the way he's been treating you via emails and my space is wrong, so make sure you honest with him and tell him how you feel and call him out on it and see what he says, if he replies without any sexual content and puts in some effort, that will tell you if he wants you enough to work on the relationship or if its time you move on for good!

Answer 4

ofcourse you should stay , i think your boyfriend is missing you a lot and you know how guys are when they miss someone , i mean the first thing they will think of to explain their love is sex ...
also don't forget that he is deployed in Iraq so he is for sure under high pressure over there and he need someone to share his feelings...
i think you should answer his emails in the same way and you will see how he will care about you ... it will make him happy and he will believe that you share him the same feeling...just try and see how it will goes...

Answer 5

I am with a guy who was in Iraq hes home now. He might just be writing you like that bc he is scaired. Give him some time. If you want to break up with him at least wait until he gets home you might be the only thing thats keeping him alive.

Answer 6

You didn't say if you talked or even emailed him about the way you feel. Communication is important in any relationship.
Try that first then decide if you want to stay or leave.

Answer 7

How was the relationship before he left? Was it mostly sex and nothing more? Did you two talk allot and discus things or was it just physical attractions.
I would get pretty bored with someone who wanted to just talk about sex all the time. There's more to life than that.

Answer 8

i'm sure being away from you like he is most of what he thinks about is sexin you up, but i would think he would let you know how he is doing, and also he should be concerned with your well being.
i would give this alot of thought, but get him to open up before you make that decsion.

Answer 9

dont do anything harsh at the min try and speak to him and tell him how you feel and everything first and see how that goes good luck hun x x

Answer 10

Sounds like you were so in love with him but the feelings were not mutual. Move on to that guy you have your eye on.

Good luck.