we had something going only after I withdrew,
and by that I mean we had a great friendship with
a hint of romance,
I believe in staying pure until marriage so we never did nothing like that,
I want to send him a letter saying:
"I don't want that life-if I can't have you-I Miss You-And I am Sorry"
Don't ask about the sorry part, ya I feel ashamed for something I did, but it's not cheating or anything close to that!
If I send it to the college (it's a small community one - where everyone "talks" ), WILL HIS BOSS HAVE TO READ IT and
is that a bad idea (writing the letter) ?
2007-11-16 09:08:22 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
If it's addressed to a certain person, his boss will not read it. If you are still attending the school, it's a bad idea and it might jeopardize his career YES, but if you aren't, I don't see a problem with writing it.
2007-11-16 09:12:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
On general principle, never have a relationship with anyone that you can only contact through work. This rule works nicely in a whole range of situations.
Key info missing: was he married? what was the age difference? The fact that you do not seem to consider contacting him at home suggests that either: you didn't know him that well (he kept your relationship within strict limits) or he was married.
You really should not contact him. It is almost certainly not going to affect his career (though schools are at least a trifle touchier about this sort of thing now than they once were). But you should still leave well enough alone. You have nothing to apologize for. You were his student. There is a big power imbalance there. I'm not saying it was wrong exactly, but its sort of understood that the whole thing is playing with fire. I don't care if you waited until after you withdrew. That's not when the flirting began.
Don't write him. You had fun. Both of you. Something sad happened. Sad things happen. It's okay. He's okay. You're okay. Part of the fun was the whole forbidden fruit element. Just move on. (He may already have.) That said. You're probably going to write him. You've probably already written the note. Throw it away. Wait a few weeks. He knows you don't want that life. The way to get over missing him is to start sending notes to someone else. Repeat, you have nothing to be sorry for.
If you're college age and he's a lot older, someday you are going to be his age, and you are going to look back and think, "I'm the age Stephen was when we . . ." and the whole thing is going to take on a whole new light and he is going to start seeming much more silly than tragic.
Go out. Have fun. Get a little tipsy. Kiss some other guy. It might suck, but it might not. Yack to your best friend. A lot. Read.
Time to move on. The way not to get burnt is to not play with fire. Stop wallowing.
2007-11-16 16:13:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you send it to his house? If you are truly care for him, you should simply just look up his address and put that on your letter.
It's never a bad idea writing a letter saying how you feel... just a bad idea if you send it to the college.
2007-11-16 09:12:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a bad idea to write the letter. Just accept the past as a lesson learned and a cherished memory, and move forward.
2007-11-16 09:11:26 · answer #4 · answered by Beardog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, if it's addressed to him, his boss cannot read it. But if you have any doubts, hand it to him in person or mail it to his home address.
2007-11-16 09:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your professor had "something going on with you", he must " have something going on " with another one of his pupil now. He is not missing you.
2007-11-16 09:20:52 · answer #6 · answered by elgil 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋