He's my delemia...My Sister-in-law & her son were "adopted" for Christmas. Well when she was contacted & asked what her family needed..she told them that her brother (my hubby) was in need of a new microwave, because his was ancient. (it works just fine by the way, even if it is old) Anywho, they said that they would get that for him as well. She will not tell me the name of the organization because she knows I will inform them not to get us the microwave. We are definatly NOT in need. Me & hubby both work good jobs & have no kids...so we are in no way needy. Now my SIL on the other hand doesn't work and lives off childsupport for her son. He does deserve something for Christmas. Also, I know several other people who are in need of some extra assistance this year. The funds should definatly be going towards them, not us. Would they be upset if they brought it to us & I asked for them to take it back? I don't want to be rude, but I want to do the right thing. Advice please.
2007-11-16 08:55:59 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
I hate that some people abuse some peoples generocity. My own sister has also been adopted this year. However, she is a single mom with 2 children and does work to make ends meet. And when they contacted her she only gave sizes & said whatever people wanted to give would be appreciated. Why can't all people be like her??? I'm really botherd by my Sister-in-laws actions. Also, when they deliver to our home...they will be able to tell that we are living very comfortably.
2007-11-16 08:58:41 · update #1
I'm struggling with the proper answer to tell you. You are in a tough spot.
Before you do anything, talk to your husband and get his feelings on the matter. Secondly, think about what type of relationship you want to keep with the SIL because not accepting the gift could be a slap in the face.
I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from. For a moment, do you think it's possible this is the only way she can afford to get you a gift? Is there any good intention in mind?
Is there anyway that you can find out the organization name & call & politely request the gift be donated to someone else? If they contact you about the Microwave, politely explain you are very touched by the gift but would be even touched greater if it went to someone that really needed it, that you and your family are blessed. -- if they make you keep it can you give it to your sister?
Good luck!!!!
2007-11-16 09:02:40 · answer #1 · answered by SportsGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just accept the gift. They would definitely have their feelings hurt if a gift was returned (especially after working so hard to find the perfect present). She's probably trying to find her place in the family and thought this would be a good starting point. I imagine she realizes the financial situation of both houses, but wanted to give out more than necessary, being both new to the family and at Christmastime.
In return, why don't you and your husband take them out for a nice dinner? Or possibly inquire (through someone else) if they need anything important, whether it be money, a new couch or appliance, etc.
Point in case, she's not gonna pull this every time. Eventually she'll find out where she stands in the family, what to expect from everyone and vice versa. Just 'oohh' and 'ahh' over the microwave as if it were the only thing n your list this year!
Good luck!
2007-11-16 17:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by CruelChick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could accept it and donate it somewhere else on your own, perhaps your church. Don't put the organization giving the gift in a bad spot- but that doesn't mean you have to keep it for yourselves.
Tough call. You don't want to take advantage of the people giving the help, but you don't feel right taking help you don't need. I wish there were more people who thought this way- most people would say "Cool! Free microwave!" and call it a day.
Edit: since they are coming to your home, I would explain to them at the door that while it is appreciated, you would rather see someone else in real need benefit.
2007-11-16 17:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can not think of any reason that a gift should be refused (unless you're talking about the flu or something).
My suggestion would be to receive the gift graciously and make other arrangements to do right by your sister in law.
Since you would now have 2 micro-waves, you might be able to offer her your old one, or something.
But, don't refuse a gift. It would only hurt and insult her.
2007-11-16 17:02:21 · answer #4 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can get the microwave and then give it to your sister and her kids since they are a needy family...and then explain to your sis in law that you guys arent needy and not to sign you up any more!
2007-11-16 17:27:07 · answer #5 · answered by I ♥ CHRiS BR0WN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your SIL might have a problem with pride. Someone too prideful often has a hard time accepting help gracefully. It's a pity that donated money will be spent on you rather than on someone who really does need help.
2007-11-16 17:11:32 · answer #6 · answered by Just Hazel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no id jsut explain that exactly what u just told us and let them know u appreciate it but u feel there is more needy folks out there and it should go to them by the way good for u for being honest
2007-11-16 17:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by rebecca b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that's what you really want to do, the should understand. If they don't then I guess they should get over it. Cause that's just your decision.
2007-11-16 17:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by tpirl0ver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋