He went on vacation last week and I got really depressed. When he got home he asked me how I'd been and I said "Pretty bad." He didn't ask me to elaborate or if I was okay. I've cried for the past three days right in front of him. I'm having some health problems I need to talk about with him, but nothing I do seems to get his attention. Today he handed me some kleenex while I cried, but then turned on the TV while I sobbed for half an hour. Any suggestions on what I can do to get him to notice me?
2007-11-16 08:48:22 · 24 answers · asked by Jody 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He went to California to run in the Big Sur Half Marathon in Monterey. he also went to visit family who lives in Pacific Grove. Since the plane ticket was $350, I didn't go with him.
I got depressed while he was gone because of the health problems I'm having.
2007-11-16 09:04:47 · update #1
Tell him you need to talk and that it is important. Have him turn off the tv. He won't fish for what is wrong but if you tell him there is something wrong and make him listen he will try to help. Guys and girls communicate differently, talk to him on his terms or you will not get the response you want.
2007-11-16 08:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by Another Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd bet he regards your crying as self centred attention seeking and can't be bothered to see beyond that. It is important to find other ways to communicate your feeling than crying. Leave crying to babies who have not yet learnt how to speak. If you don't know how to describe what you are feeling then your husband is not the person who will help you to come to an understanding. You may need professional help from a counsellor or therapist. Don't blame your husband for your own inability to communicate.
2007-11-16 17:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Went on vacation without you? And this is your husband? Something is not right here........ Why didn't the two of you go together?
Crying is similar to nagging, it's annoying and people will do anything to avoid dealing with it. This is no way to communicate with your husband, I know it's tough and what I am about to say might sound harsh...... you need to be more mature about this. Pull yourself together, be strong, and talk to him like an adult. Then he might take you seriously, it sounds like you cry to get attention all the time - and it quit working.
2007-11-16 16:57:01 · answer #3 · answered by Betty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so, he's not biting on the sympathy card you're trying to force. If you have health issues, get medical attention, and sometime when he can't leave your side, start telling him about them. I'm sure he has no trouble noticing you when he's in "need"..... Maybe he doesn't know how to handle a crying wife... is this an ongoing issue with you, crying alot? There's got to me more to the story than this... tell us more, so we can help you out further.
2007-11-16 16:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got depressed because he went on vacation?? well something happened while he was away? is there any particular reason why you are depressed?
Well you question is not very detailed, all i can tell you is to stop crying and istead of that talk to him tell him what is bothering you and tell him how you feel, he will not take the initiative trust me men are like that !
2007-11-16 16:56:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your husband straight out that you need to tell him something important. Explain the medical things that are going on and tell him you want him to be connected with you at this time. Elaborate on your desire to confide in him and that communication is really important to you. Maybe start by asking him if you can have at least 10 minutes of his time every day to talk things out.
2007-11-16 16:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by Danny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to dump this jerk and find someone to love who loves you in return. Any man who goes on vacation without his wife considers himself single and doesn't love you or he wouldn't act this way. Live is too short to put up with a life without love in it so although it may hurt for a while to divorce him, you will be far happier when you meet the person more interested in you than in himself. You need to raise your self esteem perhaps because it sounds like he is doing what he can to destroy that. I will give you a site to check out but kick this guy out and find love instead of servitude!!
2007-11-16 17:05:47 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if something is wrong with him and why he is treating you this way. he may be uncomfortable because he doesn't know why you are upset and might even think he did something but doesn't know what. Try to approach him when you are not crying or emotional and start talking to him about it. I think he's being pretty insensitive but there must be some reason. Your only going to find out if you ask.
2007-11-16 16:53:51 · answer #8 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart im sorry you're hurting and i know that you just can't stop crying. Your husband doesn't know how to help you, and you need to realize that he too is hurting. It's a situation that you both feel powerless in, but try something really different.....laughter. rent a bunch of funny movies and watch them together, laugh until you burst...together, that will open the door to comunication. start to talk about everything and anything but your illness. Become a couple "again"over everything esle.
2007-11-16 18:27:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sheba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That marathon was probably a pretty big deal for him.
He's probably bummed that you weren't there to support him.
You should have gone with him.
When I got married a friend told me the secrets to their awesome marriage. There were only a few, but one was never spend a single night apart.
2007-11-16 17:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋