Trust issues...?

Question

I have the biggest trust issues involving men....i never trust men more than 50%....not my husband,not my brothers,even my dad....the worst right now is my husband...he's running his own busniness & is constantly flying off somewhere for the past 5 months. sometimes,i only got to see him once a week. he doesnt talk bout his work much, he rarely call when he's away, he always has this weird look on his face when i ask him things regarding his work or the people he works with....plus the tone of his voice is soooo not convincing. I'm having the hardest time trying to believe him...i keep wondering whether he's having an affair or not?....Please help me!!! What do i do?

one more thing, from my experiences, when my guts tells me something's wrong...it usually is....that's why i'm so worried!!

Ok let me add a little, he's working most of the time....when he's with me,he STILL thinking bout work or sleep...& that leaves me with what?!! it's just plain annoying....

Answer 1

For some reason you have been hurt in that department in the past. Your biggest fears are that you're going to be disappointed again, and have your trust broken again. It's a hard life to live, but you have to face your fears. The answer is: reality check. Presumption is a very dangerous road. Always check your assumptions.
Maybe you also can have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband and let him know about your insecurities, and tell him that in order to avoid being paranoid with him, you need a little more reassurance. And make him promise that he's going to tell you the truth no matter how bad it is. If he understands that you want a real relationship rather than putting both of you through hell, and deceit, he'll do the right thing.
If he still doesn't - make plans to catch him in the act. All this time, though, make sure he knows he's needed and make every minute you spend together worth it. Don't waste time with your insecurities, maybe he'll work out his issues. You have to be best friends with your husband, regardless of your other relationships with other men. It's also hard living on the other side, too... always being suspected... but he needs to understand that the love language you speak, requires more reassurance, and a little more sharing...
And talk... and talk... - talk with him, not at him... men have no idea how to figure out women, but women have their number, if you know what I am saying... You catch a lot more flies with honey... Good luck.

Answer 2

Hey here's an idea...freak out about it, that will fix it! Wow, if you only trust men 50% of the time, do us a favor and switch teams. How are you ever going to have a meaningful relationship without 100% trust? I too, run a business and I look funny at my wife when she asks me questions, because I really don't want to talk about it, it is stressful enough. When I get home I want to relax, not rehash the problems of the day.

You need to do him a favor and leave him. It is so not fair to not trust him, that sucks. I would rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't trust me, here's a thought, maybe that's why he looks at you funny. He's thinking what the hell, I bust my rear all day so I can come home to the inquisition?

Answer 3

Well for yourself, when did your trust issues start? Has your husband ever given you a reason not to trust him? I would start decifering why you have the trust issues with men. Maybe its just something that you need to work on. As for your husband, he should open up to you more. He should understand that you want to know whats going on with him while hes gone. Its something that interests you. And if hes your husband, he should know that you have trust issues, and should try to work with you on them. But you need to let loose a little bit too, because its going to end up pushing all the men that you care about in your life away from you now, and possibly in the future.

Answer 4

does he know of ur trust issues?? maybe thts y hes doesnt talk about work coz u might think hes having an affair....trust is a really important aspect of any relationship im sure ur just being paranoid, i mean what evidence do u have that hes having an affair? until u get proof how can u say hes having an affiar?? until u get proof trust him, by having trust u will feel so much secure and feel soo much happier! but yes i do agree with the fact that u dont get to see him, so such thought being in ur head are natural, but u must understand that its his work hes not doing it for lesiure.

Answer 5

You are harrassing him; he has learned that you are going to give him hell whatever he tells you about his work, so he is better off not talking about it.

You are certainly driving him away from you. In time, when you have successfully driven away a good man who once loved you, you can cry to yourself about how "right" you were all along not to trust a man.

You are sick. You need help.

Seriously -- I mean it out of care for you and your husband. Get help before you succeed in your twisted plan.

Answer 6

You need to see a therapist. It sounds like, with all of the trust issues you have with every man in your life, your husband couldn't tell you anything that you would believe 100%. Maybe he is doing something wrong, maybe not, but you need to talk to a professional to help you or you will never really be able to get over any of this.

Answer 7

Something is not right. It does not take much to call your wife. I talk to mine everyday from work and I always see him. Since he is not forthcoming with any information I would say he is hiding something. The looks and the tone are more than enough to convince me. Top that with rarely calling. Why can't he call? Who is he with. I would think he is with someone that does not know he is married. I hope for your sake that I am wrong. Good luck.

Answer 8

Hire a private investigator and never tell him. Im telling you if you ask him questions and stuff... well that is enough to make him shy away from talking about his trips and you get even less info. I know it might be hard but you gots to find some way to ease up. Then get the PI to find out for sure!

Answer 9

this is a hard question because i am a herpetologist so i am out of town kinda like ur husband a lot, but i am not cheating i love my wife so i don't have a problem with her asking me questions, I like sharing my job with her.
I find it strange that he is not willing to talk about it.

Answer 10

He's your husband... communicate with him.. tell him how you feel..Go to counseling if needed. As far as the cheating, only you know. But trust that female intuition.