If you dated a guy that was the sweetest person on earth, treated you well, had a good job, made you laugh, had a good time with but you didn't necessarily think he was "as intelligent" as you were, would you date him/marry him?
He's a fireman, so it just took a list to get on the Dept. (highest paid in the state, good money)
He never went to college (I did) but that doesn't even bother me that he didn't. There are just some things that I know (that I think is basic knowledge) that he doesn't quite get. I don't know if loving him for all the good qualities I listed above, that it will just annoy me later for this one thing when we spent our lives together.
2007-11-16 07:41:23 · 48 answers · asked by sunfir26 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Opposites attract. You may not think of him as "book smart" but I would rather have him there than a neurosurgeon if i was trapped inside a burning building. He knows about things that are important to him, he has his own area of expertise.
2007-11-16 07:48:01 · answer #1 · answered by ashley g 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I married my wife, she had a high school diploma, but I had a BS degree. She, like your man, did not know a lot of things that I considered basic knowledge. However, I saw in her a sweetness, and a strength of character, and a good values system. I married her, and I have never regretted it.
Today, I have a Master's, and she has a BS of her own. She has plans to go back to get a Master's herself too, even though she's now over 40. We never had trouble holding interesting conversations.
And here's an important factor for you to bear in mind: intelligent is not synonymous with knowledgeable. I'll bet he could tell you all kinds of things you don't know about fire fighting, and about other topics that interest him. What you should ask yourself is whether he has a willingness to learn new things. If he does, you can start thinking of him as intelligent, just not very knowledgeable *yet*.
2007-11-16 07:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it! It will catch up with you. I dated a guy who was wonderful...the sweetest most caring person ever - however we couldn't have the same conversations and deep thoughts and he just didn't get certain things and it really started to bother me. I thought I'd never find anyone else like him....so I stayed, but deep down it really bothered me that I loved this person so much yet they couldn't really be on my level with certain things. Anyway, things ended because I just needed more from him...I still love him and care for him...
Now I have a new boyfriend who is college educated, intelligent, bright...likes to have conversations about important issues and abstract things...and he is a sweetheart. I am so happy I realized I deserved more. My bf (soon to be husband) will keep me sharp in years to come...we'll never be bored with each other and always have so much to talk about (within reason of course, everything gets a little bored after a while). I couldn't imagine being with my other, less "smart" boyfriend anymore...please don't limit yourself and you'll be happy in the long run to find someone who is on your level. You'll end up regretting it in the end if you stay in a relationship that does not satisfy you mentally.
2007-11-16 07:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by kleo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't matter. I always used to think that I would want to marry someone who was really educated, like one of those obnoxious wall street types. But I have been with my bf for 7 years already (he didn't go to college and I did, and I have a lot more knowledge than he does, although he is smart, just not book smart) and it doesn't make much of a difference other than a random "oh, you don't know what obsequious means?" There is a big difference between him being a smart person in general, or having book smarts. As long as you have stuff to talk about, you're golden.
P.S. You say you're really intelligent, but it should be "a man WHO'S not smart", not a "man THAT'S not smart." Maybe you guys are more alike than you think...
2007-11-16 08:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by Naughty ♥Angel♥ Mommy2B! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have multiple degrees - my husband graduated high school and never even wanted to go to college.
I work in a professional environment and my husband is in road construction.
It really isn't an issue of which of is more intelligent - he knows things I never will and I know things he never will - the only thing that matters is the man himself. There are things I assume are common knowledge that he doesn't know because my idea of common and his are different. I might know anatomy and physiology - but I never knew the size of a skip (dashed yellow line on the road) or what they were made of....he considers that common knowledge.
Do you love him or do you love his brain? If you are looking for little things to give you a reason to get out maybe this is not the man for you.
2007-11-16 08:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by Susie D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me you're looking for a way to think you're better than him. You say it doesn't bother you that he never went to college yet you point out how some things are basic knowledge that he doesn't get. Are you sure he doesn't get it or are you just putting yourself on some genius pedestal?
My husband is smart but there are things that he can be a little dense on and he does have a college education. You have to decide what's more important: A man that loves you, is financially secure, and is willing to spend his life with you or a Harvard graduate who treats you as inferior because you're not as intelligent as he thinks he is? Get the point?
We all have strengths and weaknesses when it comes to our intelligence. Chances are good your boyfriend is the same way. Instead of thinking of him as less intelligent than you, find things he's incredibly smart with. You may find you're nowhere near as intelligent you like to think you are.
2007-11-16 07:48:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems like it annoys you now. If it did not bother you, you would not bring up the fact that you had higher education and he didn't. Just because someone had the priviledge to get through college does not necessarily make them un-intelligent. This man might know a lot more than you think or even give him credit for, but if I were him, I wouldn't stick around to prove it to you.
2007-11-16 07:47:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why Not, Just Took A List To Get On Fire Dept?? Whos Not Intelligent???
2007-11-16 08:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by SWAT 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I married someone who I don't consider as smart as me in some areas, stuff I think is basic knowledge too. However, he is so intelligent in other areas so we are just constantly teaching eachother new things. I think what really matters though is the type of person they are. You seem to have a good catch and it was enough to fall in love. Besides you'll always have friends to challenge your intelligence I'm sure.
2007-11-16 07:49:21 · answer #9 · answered by Darling 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not be a whiz at everything but he may have an over abundance of common sense. If you let something like this get in the way of love, then it's time to move on. In my opinion, he's got other very important qualities, that a highly educated guy may not have. It's all about how he treats you, as far as I'm concerned. Love him for who he is.
2007-11-16 07:48:19 · answer #10 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would and I did. My hubby is sorta like what you described, although I wouldn't have used the same exact words to describe him. I know what you mean though :) People can be "smart" in more ways than one, and in diffferent ways. For example, I have 2 college degrees, hubby has 2 semesters worth of college & is a so-called blue collar worker, BUT I am absolutely clueless when it comes to certain things he would consider basic knowledge or common sense. In each other, we have created the perfect balance. So I would say, if you love him, go for it!
2007-11-16 07:47:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋