Need help making my man feel manly?

Question

Lol.
Okay, here's the deal. I'm very independent.. especially after spending 2 years alone while my husband was in Iraq. I learned how to do things on my own like change the oil, mow the grass, etc. My husband seems to think some things are a mans job and when I do them (or try to), I'm hurting his manhood. It didn't help that I called my dad after our son flushed a bouncy ball in the toilet instead of letting him handle it.
I know this is important for some men (don't fully understand why) so what can I do (other than keep my mouth shut in the future) to help him feel manly? Any ideas?

Okay, sillerious.... I was trying to keep this short. There's much more to it than that. Forgive me for not posting a novel.

Answer 1

The thing you have to realize is your husband is probably feeling a little replaced and not needed. So the easy fix is let him mow the lawn ask him to change the oil etc. It's great that you're independent I don't think anyone would argue with that but realize that even in your question you make it sound like your husband isn't manly. Make sure you remember that this is something important to him and to how he feels as a man whether you understand it or not it's a valid feeling that as his wife you should address. I love that my husband is manly and I wouldn't want him any different.

Answer 2

When your spouse was away and you had to do all the stuff. That was good. Now that he is back you can let him do the stuff he once did. I don't think he would of been upset if it was something complicated and he didn't know how to do it. And you ask him to before going out the house. You didn't give him the opportunity to fix it at all. I might have been a little upset over that as well.

Could it be you are still in the same mode you were when he wasn't there? Just something for you to think about.

Answer 3

You being alone for those 2 years made you very independent and he needs to know that. He needs to understand that what you're doing has nothing to do with him. It's something you had to learn and do while he was in Iraq. Try to let him be the man, it's going to be hard but worth it in the long run. Congrats on you taking care of your home while he was gone.

Answer 4

i think u should level with him because if you don't it could cause problems down the road. Tell him that you are not trying to make him feel less masculine, you are just used to doing these things by yourself, that you don't blame him, but this is what you've been doing for 2 years. maybe you both could split the jobs? like you mow the lawn on Tuesday and on Sunday he makes dinner. something you both agree with and can live with.

Answer 5

Tell Him Hes The Best Lover Youve Ever Had.

Answer 6

First, don't call daddy. Give your husband a chance to fix things if you can't do it yourself.

Secondly... this is advice from my hubby to you... BJ.

If you are really having issues, I suggest counseling, because you can never get inside his head, but you can learn more about what he WANTS and what you WANT when a third party mediates your discussions for you.

But then again, BJs often do wonders for a man's "masculinity"

Answer 7

Oh stop it. What did you do? Marry a redneck? Marry a male chauvinist pig? Grow up and stop apologizing for having skills and being smart! If he can't deal with it, then that's HIS problem - not yours! It sounds as though you did some growing while he was gone and that is NOT a bad thing! In fact, it's very good. However, this is one reason why young people are told not to marry too soon. Because as people go through life, they grow and develop at different speeds and also have different life experiences. He was in the military where you follow orders. You were on your own and had to learn to think independently and solve your own problems. If he expected to come back to some silly, milksop of a creature that gazed adoringly into his eyes and says, "How wonderful you are!" then he'd better re-think what his expectations of women are. Women today are fighter pilots and doctors and engineers. They run major corporations and do NOT apologize for living!

YOU can't make him feel "manly," only he can do that. Either he's a man secure in his masculinity or he's not. But you are not his mother(!) so stop trying to "fix" things for him.

Answer 8

Just revert back to him in some areas. Let him do some things and if he doesn't do them in a timely enough manner then politely ask him if he could do it. Then while he is doing it say something like, "I didn't know you could do it that way," or "Why does it look better when you do it?" Even if you are lying. At least it will build up his self-esteem.

Answer 9

For me, that's not lots as feeling like the protector, yet quite the sensation of closeness and understanding how lots she trusts you that makes seeing her get scared and curl up against you fairly heat. Plus, what guy does not rejoice with an excuse to have a warm woman rub up against and press in close? i in my opinion love the sensation of waking up with my arm round her and her head on my chest, curled up against my element.

Answer 10

Your answer is easy. Sex. I know that I am a male pig but sex cures all of our problems. Dress up really slutty and be submissive. Let him have you where ever and however he wants you. Put on a real go show and tell him he is a stud. Next time he complains that you think he is not a man you can refer back to that night and say "oh trust me you're a man stud" and he will smile and walk away.