Why do unhappy married men stay?

Question

I always wondered why unhappy men stay married? Or why does a wife stay if she knows her husband does not love her and has told her so?

Answer 1

Everyone situation is different. There are some men who say they are unhappy, but only want a "bit" on the side. They will tell you anything to get into your pants. There are some men who really are unhappy but stay out of responsibility and guilt. They feel their wife wouldnt cope without them and sometimes the wife has used emotional blackmail to keep them by saying they will kill themselves if he leaves. Some men stay because leaving a marriage would mean they would be leaving their assets too. Some stay for the children, which is ridiculous if he is really unhappy.

I dont know why a wife still wants her husband if he has told her he doesnt love her. Some women are just so insecure and enjoy the title of wife, but dont know how to be one. Some women have taken their husbands for granted for years and out of obligation he just accepts it until one day he finds someone who he trully loves. Sometimes men are just so set in their ways that leaving their wife and starting afresh is pretty daunting. They worry about the things they have built up as a family....a house, and other assets. Its a pretty big move for someone, especially if they have been in a long time marriage. With some men, its the fear of the unknown. Maybe they have never had to fend for themselves and maybe they are secure in knowing the wife cooks and cleans for him and will accept any kind of treatment he dishes out. What man would leave a marriage when he has two women who love him.....one does the cooking and cleaning and providing a nice safe environment, and the other provides for his emotional needs. He has no reason to leave if he has the best of both worlds. Like I said, everyone is different. The reasons why this happens are numerous....it different for everyone.

Answer 2

First of all - if a man isn't happy in a marriage, he not only has every avenue out but he WILL find a way to leave no matter what. Children are not a ligitimate excuse to stay in a bad marriage in todays society where if a man was financially responsible for the children during marriage, he can be responsible after marriage as well. This goes for female's too. Children only suffer when they can sense and/or hear that their parents aren't happy together - so how could it be to the childrens benefit to stay in an unhappy marriage? Using children is an excuse for parents who aren't actually ready to say goodbye to their marriage.
The term "unhappy marriage" is also a cheaply used ploy that cheaters use to convince their sexual object of affection that their affair is somehow justified.
Secondly, in a marriage - especially one that is deeply rooted by time and life experiences shared together - it's all too common for words to be mutually exchanged that aren't meant in the heat of the moment...such as your example of a woman staying when "her husband does not love her and has told her so". You're not there to hear and see all of the heartfelt precious moments that outweigh the temporary and fleeting negative moments. Again, if a man does not love a woman (or vice versa) people can and WILL find a way out and they'll do so quickly & without ongoing excuses *IF they're serious about their claims.
With marriage being such a serious matter, people tend to feel a bond that cannot be explained to those who are in the dating world because marriage surpasses a physical commitment and honors a spiritual vow and a blending of two souls (or more with children) - not to mention the legalities involved. Marriage is a choice we build our very existance on - UNLIKE a 30 day trial subscription test phase. So, naturally, people will try anything they can when they want their marriage to work!
Bottom line is *BOTH OF YOUR SCENERIOS INVOLVE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL MAKING A MORAL, DELIBERATE CHOICE TO STAY IN THEIR MARRIAGE - as marital vows quote "...for better or worse".
If abuse is a factor, the reasons entirely change...but that's a different story.

Answer 3

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RE:
Why do unhappy married men stay?
I always wondered why unhappy men stay married? Or why does a wife stay if she knows her husband does not love her and has told her so?

Answer 4

I am am the unhappily married man you speak of and the wife knows.

I told her all we do is make each other miserable and we should consider divorcing. She simply just never brings up the subject up any more.

We're still not happy together but I feel if the marriage is going to end I'm going to have to push the issue as she pretends nothing is wrong when we dont we don't even sleep in the same room any more.

Answer 5

it's too much hassle to go through divorce. Especially if you have kids. Why not keep the other around as the baby sitter. That's just my take on it. That's when you discuss with your spouse to have a open relationship. That way you can still stay married, but have a little fun too.

Answer 6

I guess you need to ask unhappy men that question. Doya know any? As with e/thing, it's probably a variety of reasons.

However, my large concern is, have ya noticed the number of missing wives/mothers lately? Husbands may be staying.....but wives seem to be paying the ultimate price.

Answer 7

Finances can play a big part in a couple staying together. Two people live as cheap as one, is the old saying.

Fear of being alone. Some people fear being alone so much that they would rather be in a terrible relationship than none at all.

Answer 8

Some men stay because they are too lazy to file for divorce, it would make them feel guilty so they wait for their wife to file. Some men are afraid that they will lose alot of money in divorce, so it cheaper to stay married. Some women stay married because they can't support themselves, or their self esteem is so low that they feel that no one else will love them anyway.

Answer 9

Divorce is a very difficult thing to go thru. It costs a lot of tears and money. Men usually don't want to divorce because they don't want to give up there money and usually the women don't want t divorce because of the kids or they think that one day the man will change. Sometimes it's just easier to deal with your current situation than to change it.

Answer 10

Most of the times the hubby stays becuase of kids and the wife stays for security.