My wife has 2 sisters. Both divorced. Her mom wears the pants in the house. 3 sisters live in other countries and they talk to their mom all the time but rarely talk to the poor father. I say poor because he has lost his 2 kidneys. He is really sick but they all talk to their mom all the time… Their dad was a money making machine for them.
My wife always tried to control me. I asked her more than a year to go to a counselor together. Finally we went to 2 different counselors but she did not show up the second time because she says: I am smart and educated and I know what is right!
Both of sisters got divorced because they love the way their mom is acting,. No man can handle it but their Dad! I want you to share your experience with me… My wife never thinks she may make a mistake and when you tell her about her mistakes she gets angry. She threatens, she screams…
She has filed a divorce as another threatening tool to control me. She thought after seeing the divorce papers I will say: O.K, I will be your slave and will do whatever you want but I am not going to do that.
Here are some of her controlling issues: She gets mad if I go to the gym, or play tennis with my friends (I was an athlete my whole life)…whenever we go somewhere she says: whey do you behave like this? Whey did you talk to her? What were you telling to her?? It is so insulting. I believe when I got married I am committed to only one woman and she is my wife. I never think I will be with somebody else… but she just does not understand. I lived with her for a year and a half and every day was like hell…
Do you think my wife can change? Just stop asking why and start enjoying life?
Oh, she is 34 years old by the way. She is beautiful and I am a handsome guy. I always trust her but I think she is very insecure seeing I get a lot of attention.
2007-11-16 06:54:51 · 9 answers · asked by mazyar m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She can't change....she doesn't "get" that she is doing anything wrong, so she sees no reason for change. I say get rid of her, you'll be better off without her trying to control every aspect of your life.
2007-11-16 07:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im kinda like that....i dont do it on purpose, but its just cause i'm tryin to protect him. He does very stupid things sometimes that hurt my feelings, and most of the time he doesn't even realize it. That WAS my Fiance but i broke up with him....we talked about it and he said im too controlling of him and i need to give him his space. Thats probably true and that is something that i need to work on, but he needs to show me that i can trust him and stop doing some of the things that he's knows upset me or it will never work out. Did you ever think that maybe its not just her, and maybe she is doing it as a response to things that your doing to hurt her. Maybe the two of you should sit down together and have a serious conversation and lay all your cards on the table. Tell her how you feel, let her tell you how she feels...and than maybe you guys can find different ways to work it out where both of you are happy together.
2007-11-16 07:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by Lek 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask her to go to counseling again... See if it works but i'm pretty sure that your wife won't change especially if you've let her control for like a year or so..... Have you tried talking to her about it?.... Tell her how you feel. Tell her that it shouldn't be like that.
Well hope this helped. Good Luck!
2007-11-16 07:04:48 · answer #3 · answered by star4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i commend you for coming out and saying what you did. it seems like you're a great catch and she needs to get over some of the issues that she has with control. maybe she's afraid of letting go. it's hard enough being married let alone having to deal with someone's emotional baggage. try to talk to her about it and just let her know that you can handle the position you were given: husband. good luck.
2007-11-16 07:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by hiswife04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She won't change because she sees nothing wrong with what she does. Either accept the way she is or leave. Personally I wouldn't be able to live with someone like that, but only you know what you can tolerate. Just don't expect her to change, unless SHE wants to. Good luck whatever you decide.
2007-11-16 07:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the book 'Co dependant No More' it helps you deal with control freaks.
2007-11-16 07:45:28 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, control = total lack of respect.
2007-11-16 06:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by Pat L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest to get out of that relationship, she will never change.
2007-11-16 07:21:53 · answer #8 · answered by you suck. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hells No
2007-11-16 06:58:52 · answer #9 · answered by what did you say 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋