any suggestions. She gave birth at 5 months and her son only lived for a week. i was not able to attend the funeral so i want to send her a card but i'm not sure what i should write on it. I have never lost someone in the family before.
2007-11-16 06:46:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I found this site...maybe it could help give you some ideas...that is so sad....
2007-11-16 06:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by Kann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so sad.
The best thing that you can do is to tell her that you are sorry and that you are thinking about her. Then tell her that you care and will be there for her if she ever wants to listen. A friend of mine lost her baby at 5 months and she told me the best thing I did was to hold her and listen and try to understand. Its going to be difficult for her and something that a lot of people would prefer to avoid than to discuss. I commend you for your willingness to offer your support.
There are lots of organizations that supports mothers after a neonatal loss. Here's some articles on what to say and what not to say:
http://www.angels4ever.com/ff/index.html
http://www.nationalshareoffice.com/resources_faqs.shtml
http://sids-network.org/experts/myths.htm
http://www.handonline.org/family/index.html
I wish you luck. Unfortunately, I've attended more funerals for neonates than adults.
2007-11-16 07:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by psychgrad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a mother that's dealt with both sides of the issue. A card is a waste of time. There is nothing Hallmark says that can really help. Just let her know that you're there for her, either with a phone call and in person and stay true to your word. It's easy to send a card but not so easy to deal with the reality of someone else's pain. Give her time and space to grieve but periodicly check in so she know's that she's not alone in her grief.
2007-11-16 06:58:06 · answer #3 · answered by Ki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't mention that she will have more children in the future. When I lost a baby, people would say that to me and it was awful to hear. I would stick with how much you care about her, and you wish there was something you could say that could take all her pain away. Just let her know you are thinking about here.
When I lost my baby in '91, my friends passed a card around and everyone wrote a little note. I still have it and it meant so much to me at the time.
2007-11-16 07:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by wulfemom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
keep it simple, its the gesture that really counts at the end of the day. just write "her name, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family."
and maybe if you have some really nice quotes that can help to ease her pain of lost, you can write it down at the bottom of the card.
thats all. but if you really can, try consoling her in person or call her up and talk to her. it is much much better than giving a card.
2007-11-16 06:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by humming scallion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mayb u should just say something sweet like im sorry for ur lost im here if u need anything. something in that area try not to make her sad about it but make her feel good inside.
2007-11-16 06:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by Hellokittyxxx108 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is what i would probably write:
i would have been there to support you but i was thinking of you on the day i said goodbye. i am here if you should need me, thinking of you as each second goes. speak to you soon.
hope this helps you.
2007-11-16 07:07:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
our thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of lose. Offer your shoulder if she would need someone to talk to.
2007-11-16 06:56:14 · answer #8 · answered by fair_fun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋