i'm 25 he's 50 will it work?

Question

I am a 25 year old widow dating a soon to be 50 man. He has 2 kids 16 and 21. I have no kids but want them, when we talk about it he never gives me a strait answer. Will it work? We've been together for 3.5 years and are very happy together other than the kids and marriage conversation. Help?

Answer 1

at his age he has had a marriage, kids family and probably more than half completed all the responsibilities also. u may b an emotional support, but he may not want to add responsibility.
but ur life hasnt yet started. u r in the stage of taking on new resposibilities of growing and nurturing family of ur own, ur interests r different bcos of the age gap.
u can b happy together as long as u r not starting a family together but if u wish to have a family of urs, then he is not ur match.

Answer 2

If he is unable to give you a straight answer now and afraid to commit to marriage, then you are on pretty shaky ground. It may be the age thing, he may feel he is too old to start another family. But whatever the reason, if he cannot make those commitments to you now then he probably never will.
As far as the age difference between you, if you are asking if that will work I would answer in this way: Age is only a number. When I married my second wife she was 19 and I was 54, we had a great relationship full of love, affection, and caring. We enjoyed many of the same things in life and lived life to the fullest. But she was young and found another man and walked away from me. Do I regret my time with her NO. I loved her totally and completely and would travel that ground again, in fact I am dating a 22 year old now and we are very happy. So age is not a factor as long as there is love and compatability. As long as there are some common grounds where you can meet and be happy.

Answer 3

Nope....It is working now, but once you tie the knot, you will see that he is too old for you. He seems evasive about children and in my neck of the woods that means he is done with kids, so if you want a family, you are with the wrong guy. Don't make that mistake. Also, he will age quickly, and remember when when you are 45 he will be 75 and an old man. You will be in the prime of your sexual life and he will probably have Erectile dysfunction. So think about it. I would break off the relationship telling him that you want children and it seems like he doesn't and marriage will never work. Don't waste your good young years with this guy because before you know it you will be in your late thirties and your biological clock will be running out and you will be desperate for children and the house and the picket fence.

Answer 4

You mean he's very happy having a sexual relationship with you as long as you don't want to take it to a more serious level, like marriage and kids. Look, 3.5 years is a long time for a 50 year old to make up his mind what he wants. You should have been engaged within 1-1/2 years and married by now. If he really loved you and wanted to marry you, it would have already happened. If you want to continue to waste more of your life on this non-committed guy, go for it, but he's not going to marry you.

Answer 5

When a man reaches 50 and his kids are almost grown then he does not want to start all over again. He has got to a point in his life that he wants to have some enjoyment himself and not have to worry about as much responsiblity.
You are quite a bit younger then he is and so far you both have had a happy time together but there is going to come a point on down the line where he will not want sex as often and you will still want the love from him. A man is at his prime at 18 and a woman much later in life, like 25-30. You will still want to be loved sexually and want that feeling of compassion with your man and he will not feel this way any more.
This man does not want to start over again with children. You are at the age to really want them and you do not have much time left.
If you do not have children then you will always regret not having them and someday be very alone in your old age yourself.
If you are willing for the love of this man to give up having children and not having sex very much then go for it.
But I can tell you that you will hold it against him someday for not being able to have the children.
There also comes a point in this mans life where illments will start and you will still be young and end up caring for an old man. I hope you have it in you to do this because believe me it takes everything out of you to do it.
Personally if you were my daughter I would cry out to you to get a younger guy because I would feel you were ruining your life and I sure would want my grandchildren someday.
I cannot believe this guys children really would want to have you for a mother either since they are very close to your age.
I feel if a man goes after someone so young that he is going through his middle age crisis and he needs you to feel his youth. Someday he will not feel this way.
You are too young for him. YOU are like another child to him to baby and to care for and to also give him youthful dreams.
Think about this if you were 50 would you want a 25 year old guy??? Everyone would say you are he momma.

Answer 6

Sorry to say that he probably doesn't want to have any more kids because he already had two. He is also not talking about marriage, so why are you wasting your time? You can stay with him for another year or two since you are young but if things don't change by then, consider leaving him. You might get along well enough but your future goals are way too different. His mentality is probably "been there, done that and it is enough for me". So don't get your hopes up because people rarely change especially in his age. Maybe he thinks that he is too old to raise another child. Imagine a kid going to college when his dad is 70.

Answer 7

First, I'm sorry about your loss.

On the bright side, your current relationship has been going on for 3.5 years so it looks like it's working pretty good with the exception of the kids issue.

He needs to tell you honestly and plainly if he'd be willing to be a father again. If he doesn't want kids, there's probably really not much you can do to change his mind about that. I mean, it's possible for him to change his mind after marriage (I know a couple who got married but planned to be kidless (his choice that he told her up front), BUT then decided after 7 years of marriage to have a kid, and now they're suddenly expecting twins in December). So while that scenario can happen with you, it's still a very risky waste of time (if having kids to you is more important in life than having him).

So... I suspect he already knows that you really want kids someday, but he's probably not giving you a straight answer because he really doesn't want them BUT he is extremely afraid to lose you too.

Answer 8

Very sorry you're a widow at your age...I can identify, I lost my first husband at the age of 26.

May/December relationships can work...however, be advised one of these days, you'll be taking care of an old man.

That's fine, if you're willing to do that. I know of a woman who married a man nearly 40 years her senior--she was 30, he was 68. They even had a son. The son had an old man for a father, which was difficult for dear old dad, who took very little part in his son's raising. I'm guessing your guy really doesn't want another kid as he won't give you a straight answer. I don't blame him. He's thinking he won't live to raise one that young. And he's also probably thinking he doesn't want to go thru all that crying, up-in-the-middle-of-the-night, poopie diapers, potty training stuff at this stage of his life. He is looking to retire in about 16 years. He's not gonna want a teenager still at home when he's ready to hit the lake & go fishing, etc.!

My advice is this: if you want to marry the man, and you're both happy, go for it. However, I'd re-think bringing a child into this situation. It may make the happy situation very unhappy real quick. Not many men want to raise two families in one lifetime.

Good luck!

Answer 9

TO be onests it will not work and not for the fact that he dodges the kid ?s it cause his AGE and he is too OLD to raise any more kids he just wants to have fun, he already lived his life by rasing a family. It is like that joke goes like this (age is like a math equation which is better 50 going into 25, or 25 going into 50)

Answer 10

Other than the kids and marriage conversation? Those are pretty important conversations if those things are important to you. It might work for a while but remember, when you're 35 he'll be 60. When you're 50 he'll be 75. If you want marriage and children I suggest someone closer to your own age. Good luck :)