If you dated a guy that was the sweetest person on earth, treated you well, had a good job, made you laugh, had a good time with but you didn't necessarily think he was "as intelligent" as you were, would you date him/marry him?
2007-11-16 06:14:51 · 29 answers · asked by sunfir26 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a fireman, so it just took a list to get on the Dept. (highest paid in the state, good money)
He never went to college (I did) but that doesn't even bother me that he didn't. There are just some things that I know (that I think is basic knowledge) that he doesn't quite get. I don't know if loving him for all the good qualities I listed above, that it will just annoy me later for this one thing when we spent our lives together.
2007-11-16 06:41:35 · update #1
It depends upon how well I was able to communicate with him. A person doesn't need to be book-educated in order to be world-smart or street-smart.
If he satisfied my need to communicate on an intellectual basis AND met all my other requirements (many are as you have listed), then I would consider him to be a compatible life-companion.
2007-11-16 06:19:22 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think for long term happiness there has to be an intellectual connection, but that can be on many levels. Being academic is only one measure of intelligence. There are many other ways in which a person can show they are smart.
It usually becomes apparent after spending a lot of time with someone whether or not you are long term compatible.
My husband is not academic. He left school at 16, and I went to Uni. We have followed different life paths, but he is intelligent in a different way to me. The important thing is that we never run out of things to say, and I never get bored in his company. Ever.
If a partner is not stimulating company, then there is no hope - intelligent or otherwise.
2007-11-16 14:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once dated a 'dumb' guy before who seemed sweet at 1st. Flowers, movies, dinners, the whole nine yds. This was a while ago, but he did think the President's name was Clinton Gore. He got that off of bumper stickers. Oh, & he would give me a gladiola & expect me to carry it around. It was a freakin' flower for a vase, not some rose. Oh, let's not forget that he failed 2 grades in school. If this is the kind of 'dumb' you are talking about, then I'd say NO, won't work. It's cute at 1st & then really OLD the next. Anyway, he ended up being a stalker...had to get the police involved.
2007-11-16 14:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by Katie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow this question hit the spot. I was the same as the man your dating. My ex wife must had to have asked the same question when she started dating me. I have no answer for you hun, I'm sorry. I made her laugh, I have a good job, I treated her like the princess she was. Honestly i believe its up to you. I do think that you can love a man that's not as intelligent as you. Feelings mean more than anything. You obviously like him. I believe emotions and feelings have little to do with intelligence. Cave woman or rocket scientist, if she loved me, loved the way i treated her, laughed at my stupid jokes and had a good time with me, she would be someone i would die to spend the rest of my life with.
2007-11-16 14:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well well well....... love is the function of the heart and not the brain. so being a lil less intelligent should ideally not matter. if you love him enough and anyone does comment on his intelligence i think that person must get a serious rebuttal from you. your love really has to be that strong for you to want to marry him, isnt it? else you might be marrying for other subsidiary reasons, not love.
dating is a totally different ball game. there it is your choice completely if u want x or y.
however, if it is he who thinks he isnt smart enough then you must do a more serious background check. he might have some low self esteem. some psychological problems etc..
on hind thought he might just be saying it to make you feel good, for all you know it might very well turn out to be the other way round, you know what i mean.
2007-11-16 14:42:43 · answer #5 · answered by the prince 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way. Intelligence was always a huge part of my attraction to any guy. My husband is the most intelligent person I've ever met and he thinks the same about me. We have amazing conversations and he blows my mind daily. I would be miserable with anything less. Looks fade, money comes and goes but being able to talk to someone who has a great mind will keep me happy for many years to come.
2007-11-16 14:34:57 · answer #6 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dumb compared to who? How? I.Q points? dumb as in doesn't rememebr somethings? Can't figure out algebra? How is he dumb? Is this just a personal opinion or is he really that dumb?
He may not be intelligent but he may be a genious in other areas. You say he has a good job, there for he must be doing something right and smart enough to perform and excell at this good job he has. He may not be Bill Gates, but as long as you love him, he loves, you and his supposed lack of intelligence doesn't interfere with your relationship with him.
Date the guy, He has a lot to offer someone, if not you some other lucky girl will find him. It could be worse. you could have a really smart dude, who is emotionally and physically abusive and controlling. Count your blessings
2007-11-16 14:28:11 · answer #7 · answered by Sean C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It just depends what is most important to you...being with someone because of who they really are, or being with someone because of what they know.
It's a hard call. I married a man who is not my equal in intelligence, but it must not matter to me, because we've now been together 25 years and are still happy.
To me, it's more important to be happy with someone who makes me feel like someone special in every way. If you're guy makes you feel that way, you can always get mental stimulation in other ways.
And, he can't be too slow, or he wouldn't be a fireman.
Give it some time. You may find out he is smarter than you think....about things that REALLY matter in a relationship.
Best of luck to you!
2007-11-16 14:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, an "unintelligent" person can ALWAYS be taught. How? you ask well it takes time, we all have had to learn things. The most important thing isn't being intelligent-IT HELPS but not neccesary. He sounds like a good man, don't pass him up b/c someone else will be waiting to snatch him up and will appreciate. Take it from someone who's been there MARRY HIM if that's what he wants. Good Luck.
2007-11-16 14:21:02 · answer #9 · answered by madeam3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love the man that loves you back. Only you can decide if his intelligence is going to be so much of a factor that you can't get past it. From your description, he sounds like a good man, and it sounds like you are for him. Opposites attract, remember?;)
2007-11-16 14:19:57 · answer #10 · answered by prissytwin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋