do u think its ok to be pregnant at 14 ??

Question

beacause my friend is and it scares me beacause she was pregnant last year too. she says im the godmother but im only 13!!! wat do i do.

Answer 1

You poor thing, you are very young. At the moment, don't worry about whether you want to break up with the father or not, he will be a part of your life forever as you will share a child together. You probably need some space from him, tell him this so you get some peace and quiet to collect your thoughts and feelings. You have a very long and hard future coming up if you keep the baby (instead of having it adopted) so please don't stress about trying to dump the boyfriend at the mo'. You will need his support in the first few weeks (sleepless nights, nappy changes etc) and once you have got into a routine you can again talk with him. I wish you all the luck in the world and a very healthy beautiful baby!.

Answer 2

You have a right to feel scared for your friend. Being a pregnant teenage girl at 14 is not a good thing because there is no way she can adequately provide for herself, much less herself and a baby. A teenage girl at 14 cannot be independent, she cannot obtain full-time employment, and she cannot get married (at least, not without parental and governmental permission, and even then she may be too young for that). This means her pregnancy and her future child now become the responsibility of her parents, family, or guardians, and she may also have to receive financial assistance from the government. This is not how a child should be conceived, born, and raised. It is best for a child to be conceived, born, and raised within a safe home where both the mother and the father are married and in love with each other.

Nonetheless, your friend is pregnant, and a child is on the way. Be as emotionally supportive of your friend as you can be. You do not have to lend your acceptance to her behavior of becoming pregnant out of wedlock (and you can certainly tell her so), but you can lend your friendship in such a way as to help her through the next few months of her pregnancy, and then perhaps caring for her child in some way. Obviously your friend views you as being someone very important in her life, and she also trusts your judgment and moral convictions, as she has asked you to be her child's godmother. Don't take her trust in you lightly. Be happy to accept the position of godmother, and make good on it. In short, love your friend and keep her close.

Answer 3

Honestly, if your teenage friend is able to get pregnant twice, her parents aren't doing a very good job of supervising her. Maybe DSS needs to get involved. Do her and any future kids she has a favor and give them a call and explain how her parent's aren't keeping a good eye on her. At 19 I was offered godmotherhood, but I declined. I wasn't married, not able to support a child, and when choosing godparents, you want a couple that's married and able to take on that child should you die.

Most people who have kids as teens don't marry the father for different reasons. Those that do have an uphill battle ahead. There are those that do stay together, but those are few and far between, and the divorce rate among those that had kids and got married before 25 is 95%.

Answer 4

No I do not think it's okay to be pregnant at 14. It isn't okay for me to be pregnant at 17. At that age you haven't experienced enough to raise a child...you're basically still a child yourself. What I think that you should do is encourage your friend to put the baby up for adoption unless she is going to recieve a lot of finanical, emotional, and other support from her family, the father and/or the father's family. Also you should encourage her to take birth control when all this is over. As for you being the Godmother...that just means that you will be there for her as she needs you. Buying baby wipes, baby sitting, going with her to the doctor all can be included.

Answer 5

Sweety while every one is busy putting your friend down, you are doing the mature thing by NOT getting pregnant at a early age, i was 14 when i had my first child, and no doubt in my mind was i mad, angry or anything god wanted me to have my daughter at a young age, i now have 2 children and i am 19 have a good job wonderful husband to be and an Awesome house so just be there for your friend and let her know that everything is going to be alright. Yeah people make mastakes and not everyone is perfect but in order to learn from our mastakes we have to make them first ya know, so and yes you should be very proud that she wants you to be the godmomma, and if she or you do not understand the concept of being a god momma then just look it up i hope all goes well and i hope i was able to help you take care

Answer 6

OMG NO, a 14 year old is still a child herself, what is she thinking.. she cant raise a child at that age.. she is barely an adult. This is so sad and stupid, think about what that baby is going to go through if the Mother doesn't have the means to care for it.
I had my son at 24 and I still think I was too young to have a child.. Gosh Its just terrible how kids think its ok to just spread their legs with no thought of "IF" I got Pregnant!

I am pro-choice person but if she was pregnant last year too then this is just wrong to keep getting prego and having abortions (if thats what she did the last time).. she needs to think VERY hard cause having a baby is VERY VERY hard job,.. tell her she cant sleep when she wants, go out when she wants etc.. its very hard to be a parent.. you have to look after that child for the rest of its life.. also tell her having a baby is not an accessorie.. its not the "thing" to do.. she will be the talk of the town believe me.. its it wont be nice talking.. its going to be horrible talk!

Please try your best to talk her out of having this baby, I am also sure the Father doesn't want to be a parent at that age either..

Good luck sweetie

Answer 7

I think you're right to be horrified. I certainly wouldn't want my daughter to be getting herself pregnant at your age just once, let alone making a habit of it.

Have you talked to your Mum about all this? And about relationships and sex and contraception?

Being the baby's godmother is fine - if you and your friend are church goers. Utterly pointless otherwise. She's going to need good friends, because bringing up a baby is *hard*. If you find yourself playing a big part in the baby's life hopefully you can help it to grow up with a bit more sense of what's right and wrong than its parents have at the moment.

Answer 8

Tell her that you appreciate the fact that she trusts you enough to be the godmother, but that you are far too young to take on that responsibility. (Does she actually know what a godparent is?).

Two children at the age of 14..... wow. Perhaps you need to talk to her about safe sex, or better yet, abstinence. Its not OK to be pregnant at 14, let alone to be pregnant for the second time. Your friend is in a world of trouble that she'll have to live with for the rest of her life. Are you sure this is the kind of person you want to hang out with?

Answer 9

I think it's only okay if you can handle it...which in most cases girls at that age can't but if this is the second time then no offense but she sounds like a slut...and the way you make it sound she either gave up the baby or got an abortion last year and plans to keep the baby this time.Umm I think that it's important you talk to her about this and tell her how you really feel. She might get angry but you need to tell her.

Answer 10

Jackie, where is the mother/father of this pregnant 14 yr old friend of yours? Who is raising the child she just had? Where is the baby's father? Is there any help coming from the father's parents? Having a baby is a life-long commitment and not just a joy ride in return for sex. Can a 14 year old handle that? I really doubt it. Hon, I would hope that your friend will not try to influence you into joining in her way of living. If she does try to sucker you in, RUN and end your friendship with her immediately.

Answer 11

No sweetie, its not ok. You really don't realize the effect its going to have on your life at that age. I was 17 and it totally turned my life around. I wouldnt give my son up for the world, but I sure missed out on alot. Its funny because people used to tell me that I was going to miss out on this and that and I didnt care at the time, I just wanted a baby. But after it happened, and now that I am alittle older. I look back at all the things I didnt get a chance to do. All the friends that were no longer my friends after I had a baby, all the nights my friends went out and had great times and I couldnt because I had a baby and how I missed out on Senior Week because I had to stay home. Your friend doesnt see it now probably, but a child is not the answer. She needs to be protecting herself if shes going to be having sex.