These two are so often lumped together . But, jeez, choosing a mate seems so much more complicated and difficult when you throw kids into the mix. I think I'd like to just find a girl and then think about kids later.
2007-11-16 06:04:32 · 12 answers · asked by LG 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well it is, and it isn't! Like you said, when looking for a mate, you have to make it work with them first, before bringing kids into the picture. Kids can only complicate things and make it more difficult. They take all of your energy, and patience away.
However, once married, and when kids come into the picture, you have to work out both marriage and kids at the same time. There has to be understanding and losts and lots of patience. You don't have as much time alone with each other anymore, so you have to make the best out of the few minutes a day you get. You have to try and balance the two together, so no one feels neglected.
I'm sure you'll have no problem with any of it though. By reading your answers, I gather you're very wise and mature, and ready to be a good parent, and partner.
2007-11-16 20:08:31 · answer #1 · answered by chloe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's "lumped" together because it's tied together. The original, age-old idea behind finding a mate is to have offspring. Even if you feel having kids isn't something you want to do, this is a decision you need to make beforehand, and look for a partner with similar views. This is one of the few areas where no compromise is possible, no matter how well-meaning both parties are. You either have children, or you don't. So you do have to think about it, and you do need to have an idea of what you want in terms of having children BEFORE you get involved in a relationship.
2007-11-16 06:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think similarly to you. When my husband and I met, we knew we were right for each other but neither of us really wanted to have a family - we just wanted to be together and enjoy doing things as a couple. We've now been married over 2 years and we still don't have plans for a family and it's fine. We get asked all the time but at least we went about things the right way - marriage THEN the possibility of a family.
I'm 29 and he's 37.
2007-11-16 06:19:07 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the general idea and once you have kids, the couple you were slides a bit. It's a fight but try to keep it going b/c once the kids leave it'll be back to the two of you and then where does that lead you.
I try very hard (sometimes not successfully) to put my husband first but the kids need me more and are more dependent on me. I make sure I give him his time at the end of the night and somepoint through out the day tho.
2007-11-16 06:08:18 · answer #4 · answered by Yummy♥Mummy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom and my dad have a tremendously stable marriage, and she or he's honestly the best mom I ever might have asked for. She additionally works finished time, nevertheless she did no longer whilst i exchange into youthful. i understand she exchange into nonetheless working whilst i exchange into born, because of the fact she had saved up all of her ill time and trip time for particularly a at the same time as so she ought to stay residing house with me once I first got here. She exchange right into a stay at residing house mom for the time I submit to in innovations whilst i exchange into little, yet she had a daycare on the residing house for a at the same time as. After that she labored at some diverse places, her favourite being a house corporation. Now she's working finished time lower back, exterior of the residing house. My mom has labored at one activity or yet another for many of my existence that I submit to in innovations, yet for her the profession she continually wanted exchange into to be a remarkable mom (and she or he succeeded) something exchange into extra to make ends meet. That being reported, whether the working section wasn't some thing that she had unavoidably wanted, it does instruct which you may have a activity, a stable marriage, and be a good mom on the comparable time, and in case you may have a activity, then you definately could have a profession.
2016-10-16 23:45:11 · answer #5 · answered by ludlum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is...
Two seperate task's....
You have to deal with
You know kid stuff...
Then at the end of the day...
Do husband wife time too!
2007-11-16 07:11:00 · answer #6 · answered by Jus Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'll never find someone good enough for your kids, but you might find someone that's perfect for you.
and someone perfect for you will be perfect for your kids as well.
with that said, there are some mistakes you cannot risk when you have children.
2007-11-16 06:07:42 · answer #7 · answered by KJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
many people get married and never have kids....many people have kids and never get married...you choose ...that's why you have the power to decide how you live
2007-11-16 06:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by jazzy l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Tasks"?
If you consider child rearing and marriage a 'task' you're not ready for either.
2007-11-16 06:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Son, grow up !
2007-11-16 06:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋