Question for Men...?

Question

Do most men shy away from women who have been thru a divorce and have children?

I have a little boy and am going thru a divorce. I'm afraid of life after the fact. No one will want me. I have a kid. I'm in no rush. However I'd like to pursue an old friendship with a man I knew before I got married. He was sweet but had to break up the friendship when my boyfriend (now ex hubby) entered the picture back then. I don't wish to scare any guy off. Any advice would be great. THANK YOU!!!

Answer 1

From what I've heard...no,. men are not overly afraid of divorced women with children. Certainly YOU don't want a man who is afraid of them!

Why not do just what you said...rekindle the FRIENDSHIP with this guy? Let things go on from there. I would think that while you're going through the divorce, you wouldn't want more than just a friendship, or things might get messy.

And beware of the "bounce-back" relationship. Re-learn who you are, first...

Answer 2

Marry woman with kid won't scary guy away. If we do choose to love a woman, we have to expect everything about her. After all, if you didn't divorce your husband, there are no chance in having a future with you. So the answer to your question, is no. Marry woman with children don't scary man away. But one point to remember is that during dating, man do want a happy moment. Kind of like a honey moon. Where it is only 2 people. So schedule your time well, at least once or twice a month where you two can just be together alone, without worrying about your children fora day or two. And problem will not arise.

Answer 3

I'm a girl, but I hope this helps:

When you are divorced with kids, there are 4 types of guys you'll find that will want to be with you.

1. Men who have been through the same as you, divorced with children, etc. This is about the easiest type of person to connect and relate with at least initially, the possible problems arise when it comes to family rules and how to parent.

2. Guys who don't have kids, but would like them, even if by only being a step-dad. This guy will have to get used to all the diapers, having to get a babysitter, and having to wait to the kids go to bed to have sex. He'll be learning from you how to disipline the kids, so there probably wouldn't be much conflict there.

3. A user type, either to get closer to your kids ( a perv) or one that thinks that you are a single mom and they can get laid by you easily because you have self-esteem issues thinking no one will want you. AVOID this guy!!!!

4. The guy that you like and maybe unsure about kids. Don't try to hook up with anyone right away. Just be this guys friend and if things were meant to be, they will happen. But walking into someones life and saying "Well, didn't work out and now I have a kid, so want to date? " would scare anyone, even if they are interested, give him time to get to know you and your child.

Answer 4

Because it isn;t the fact that she mad a divorce and not because she has kids (although kids do affect. We know how fragile kids are and if we get attached and it doesn't work, it is not good. Men being safe around kids and mother is a good thing). The issue is what these women are usually like. They never more on from a marriage and they always have to worry about the kids. I'm not saying the marriage scars and taking care of the kids is bad (because it is good because it shows you care) but then don't be offended when we shy away. If you want us to understand your situation, understand ours.

Answer 5

I don't know what to say about "most men", but I can say from personal experience that I don't shy away from women who have been divorced and have children.

In some ways, women like you have more to offer to a man. It's obvious that you are already a loving and compassionate person and that children are important to you.

If this guy is scared off because of your divorce and your child, then he isn't the right guy for you. There are plenty of other guys out there who don't have a problem with that -- they might even prefer it! -- who have husband potential

Answer 6

Honey be yourself, be proud of your son, and everything will work out just fine. Its like anything in life, some guys do, and some dont want step children. Give the old guy a call, and talk about how life is going, mention you getting a divorce, and of course, what a beautiful child you have. If he's not interested, you will know.

Answer 7

I know a number of my friends who've dated or married women with kids. It's not a huge plus but it's not any sort of disqualifying factor.
For most men, what's more important will be:
1)Your personality - A number of women strike us as clinically insane. We try to go for the least nuttiest of the bunch.
2)Your appearance. Sorry, it's true. But anyone of any age can diet & go to the gym; clothes, hair, and a little makeup can sometimes help too.
3) Horniness. We're programmed to want it regularly.
4) Coolness - how fun are you?
These are all a lot more important than a few kids - most guys like kids, anyway, and if they don't they're jerks. Lots of men would enjoy being a stepdad; probably lots of them will want you, too.

Answer 8

Not all men are the same, some will shy a way and some can be interested to know you more..

i think its the best for you to keep away from that old friendship and open up yourself into others.. get a new life..open up a fresh chapter...there are no need to be rush into any relationship..you will find him when you know that he is definitely for you.

Answer 9

I wouldn't say most men. There are probably some immature men out there who have a problem with the "instant family" scenario. However, I would hope that having a child would actually serve to attract responsible men not repel them. At least if I were single, it would for me.

Just be honest with him up front. If he runs, then he wasn't worth pursuing in the first place.

Answer 10

As a guy who has dated several women with kids, I must say that there are certainly some real issues that "mommy's boyfriend" have to deal with.

Help anyone you date to understand their role and what you expect from them. Do your best to be considerate of their feelings when it comes to dealing with your ex and your child.

Men can come into your life, grow attached to your child, and then be dismissed with no rights whatsoever when you decide to give your ex another chance for the sake of your child.

It goes both ways, women with kids may be seen as having baggage, but the men who date them are often seen as transitory or disposable.