We have lived together 6 months, been seeing each a year. I’m 25, he’s 36. I just found he was still emailing his ex until she broke it off about 4 months ago. She lives in his home city & he saw her when he went home for Christmas last year & apparently at that time were still talking about them getting back together. He gave her card that they would be growing old together. We had a fight and broke up back in March, I moved out & he called her and told her she had always been the one, the love of his love ... well we made up, I moved back in but he was still emailing her, looking at her pictures. The crystal heart that says love that is on top of our tv is from her and he kept it as a "reminder of her". I found a letter she sent him & what shocked me was she said she didn’t understand why when she asked him, he only said he loved me, not he was in love with me.. He says it's over, do u think he still loves her? It bothers me that she cut if off not him, still wanted her in his life.
2007-11-16 04:40:20 · 14 answers · asked by Alyssa M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just found this all out a few weeks ago... the last email he sent her said that he loved her and that things weren't the way he would wish and everyday he thought about what it would be like if they were together… that maybe one day if neither of them was with someone maybe things could evolve for them. He said he was happy and content in his surroundings... meaning me and our life I guess... but that kind of made me wonder if he really loves me or could it just be anybody here... I know they have had no contact but I’m always wondering in the back of my mind and I want to trust him and what he says he feels for me but they have six years of history and I think he still loves her… will time erase the fears in my head and the love in his heart? I'm scared, we have been talking about marriage off and on but I wonder if he still is in love with her.
2007-11-16 04:41:38 · update #1
I hate to say it but yes it does sound like he is in love with her he loves you but not in the way he feels for her and if you stay and try to make it work it never will you will never feel fullfilled and neither will he you will both end up resenting each other and before you know it years will have passed by he don't want to hurt you he does care but he can't help how he feels about her you just can't turn your feeling for someone off and on I'm so sorry but you both deserve to be happy even if it means walking away from each other and I'm not just speaking and telling you this just to say it I'm speaking from personnal experience I lived with a man who I told myself I was in love with for 131/2 years and even though he couldn't tell me he was in love with me I really belived he was then one day I knew it was over that was almost 2 years ago now I'm trying to find the man I've always been in love with so please do yourself a favor don't end up in the situation I did because it hurts far worse then just walking away now good luck
2007-11-16 04:52:33 · answer #1 · answered by sassysandyinmi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you that in love with this guy who still in love with his ex's? Be honest here, lady. Why are you putting yourself through something like for nothing? Please email with the answer, please! He have made it clear so many times that he still want his ex's back into his life. Do you get it, unless that you're so much in love with him that it cloud your better judgment.
Here is a lesson learn right here, if a person with an ex and they still in contact and talking about getting back together. Its time to break camp and move on and not listen to none of the BS line to get you to come back to him. And then start it up with their ex's again. That is plain down right dumb on your part. Let me try to make this very clear to you about the comment " he loved you, not in love with me". Just because you heard the word love mean he is in love with you.
When someone said they LOVE you but not in LOVE with only mean as a close friend that they live to be around and not take very serious about their relationship. When you're IN LOVE, you can rest of sure that you can take this to the next level of the relationship called Marriage. But not the other LOVE. Just move right back out and find someone who is in love with you rahter love you. good luck... PS...I had to learn this on my own..
2007-11-16 05:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I do think there is such thing as loving two people at once, but it seems to me that he still has feelings for her. I think you know that better than all of us here. I'm sure he does love you and care about you, but if he truly loved you like he loves her he would not do the kinds of things he does. In the end it's your decision, if you want to be someone's plan B, or if you want to find someone that will love you and cherish you like you deserve.
2007-11-16 05:00:31 · answer #3 · answered by star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's not 100% committed to the relationship with you.
I'd put it to him "Are you 100% IN here, or not? If you are, then I insist you stop dragging the past around with you." Give him some very specific things you want done differently. See what he does; watch how he behaves. That'll tell you at least as much as what he says.
You want someone with his eyes firmly on where he is, not looking back over his shoulder all the time.
2007-11-16 04:47:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, it's time to open your eyes. Don't sit around and wonder when you know the truth. You know that this is not the relationship for you. You will find someone who truly loves you. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you get to the prince.
2007-11-16 04:57:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lolabel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can u hear me ?
Not really since this is a blog!!
LEAVE HIM ALONE u have not invested to much time in this,He is trying to find out who he wants to be with and i can tell from your note he is hoping for the other broad but if he cant have her he will SETTLE for u if that is fine by u then stay.
2007-11-16 04:46:19 · answer #6 · answered by GRUNT 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman's instincts are a gift from God.
We know when our man is cheating...we just wait around like dummys for the proof to be thrown up in our faces.
Is his behavior, and communication with her respectful to you? No.
Cut your losses, before he leaves you for her later...
2007-11-16 05:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by All the way back... 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut your losses and RUN FOR THE HILLS! You'll find a better man on any street corner begging for change.
2007-11-16 05:02:10 · answer #8 · answered by luckyme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I would say "Good-Bye" now before you get married & have children! Don't just "Settle"!!! You would either be stuck in the relationship for the sake of the kids or finances,etc. etc.. Believe me!!!
2007-11-16 04:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wake up lady!
He is using you as his "plan B". If things don't work out with wifey, then you are his fall back plan.
Good luck.
2007-11-16 04:47:34 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋