clean and the usual. My husband gets upset anytime I do anything outside of our routine. How do you get around this without causing alot of war? I am bored out of my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-16 04:35:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only thing he likes to do is cook on the grill, drink, and watch soccer. I join him in all of the above but he won't do anything that I want to do but he won't let me go out with family or friends.
2007-11-16 04:42:22 · update #1
I had the exact same problem.
This is what I did.
I started going out with my friends anyway. Yes there was war when I got home but you have to break the cycle. Keep in constant contact with him while you are out with your friends. Just to let him know that you are okay and not up to no good. The war won't be as bad when you get home. Eventually he will get used to you going out.
When you get home, during the war. Do not argue back. Be understanding, empathize with him.
2007-11-16 04:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Tyonka 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a very controlling husband. No doubt he does what he wants but he has to keep track of you.
This, at best, is a marriage headed for trouble. If you can't get him to compromise, go out to eat with you, go to a movie, anything you may enjoy together, there is very little chance he will change.
I am sorry to tell you this but when a man loves a woman he wants to do things with her. He wants her to be happy but may not always know how to help her do that. But if he will not let you go out or will not go out with you… you have a very big problem.
Most woman that do not work outside of the home feel as you do now and then. Maybe even more often than not. It is boring. So you need to be able to or do something different.
Men who have a stay at home wife get very lazy. I know I did. They know that all they have to do is work and come home and you will take care of the rest. Some men do not need stimulation beyond their work so would much rather stay at home like your husband does. The fact he will not let you go out is a very big problem. He does not trust you for what ever reason.
Please do not cheat. This will only cause much bigger problems. But you must be able to talk to him and get his attention. It will not be easy. Trust me I know. But you must let him know just where you are and that if something doesn't change he may loose you. While you may not feel that way now there is no doubt you will in the future.
Don't let him to continue to get away with this.
2007-11-16 05:01:36 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very normal in a relationship for a husband to and wife to have separate activities. Suggest that, or just start doing that. It doesn't mean you're any less close. There are just certain hobbies that you will each like that the other may not necessarily enjoy. Try doing these hobbies with friends so that you're still "having a life."
If he's "not letting you leave the house" then it sounds like you have an entirely different problem on your hands. One that might call for counseling or divorce.
2007-11-16 06:04:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't trust you enough to let you hang out with the girls, then you need to sit down and address that problem right now.
My wife goes out with her girlfriends every Friday night. I don't mind, it lets me do the things I want to do. She always tells me where she is going to be and generally comes home around midnight. There have been a few times that I had to go drive all of the girls home, but thats because I know the lady that tends bar at the club they go to and she collects their keys if they are going to drink.
In July her and the flock of women that she hangs out with went on vacation together. They went on a 7 day cruise, no husbands. What did I do the entire time she was gone? Well I went to see a bunch of new movies, played a bunch of computer games, hung out with my dudes and generally made a mess of the house.
Trust is everything. If you can't trust the person you married, then you shouldn't have gotten married.
2007-11-16 04:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you say he won't "let" you go out I am assuming you mean that he puts up a big fight before and after your excursion? If he PHYSICALLY is not letting you go out...then you need to not only get out of the house, but run far far away.
If its the latter (which I hope it is), just go out anyways. But communicate to him clearly, that you are not doing it to make him angry but rather to find your own version of "soccer, grilling out, etc" that makes YOU happy. Don't let yourself fight back when he gets angry, just remain calm and come home w/ a good attitude even if thats hard. Treat him just as you would ifyou'd been cuddling on the couch all night.
I also have to mention that it seems as if your husband is controlling you with his baby, pouting behavior. Please stand your ground and don't give in to the puppy dog face. If he's a good man, eventually he'll come around. And with you being gone more often I am sure it'll be motivation for him to get out of the house and socialize as well. Good luck.
2007-11-16 05:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by Alaina's Mumma! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both my husband and I are homebodies - we enjoy being with each other and our families. My husband doesn't have any friends - I have one girlfriend that I see every few months or so. This works for us.
I've dated guys in the past who had numerous friends and it was awful having to see them all the time. But that's just me - and my husband is the same way.
The important thing is to be compatible with your spouse so you're not bored or limited to what you can do.
Maybe find a hobby together? Or maybe try doing things on your own.
2007-11-16 05:15:11 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course you can be married and still have a life. My husband and I just bought an RV, and have already gone on several weekend trips. We like to watch our favorite TV shows, play video games, go to Renaissance faires, have BBQs with friends, travel. There are things that only one of us is interested in; he likes going to technology-oriented trade shows - so he has a group of friends he does this with; I like dancing, so I take dance classes with a group of MY friends. We have several pets. The problem is not being married per se, the problem is being married to a person who has nothing going on, and who is not interested in anything. And if, in addition, he "gets upset" if YOU do something fun, then you are really in trouble.
Marriage need not be boring. I look at my parents-in-law - they've been married for 40+ years, and they're having the time of their lives. The kids are grown and out of the house, and the parents are always doing stuff; they have a couple of waverunners that they love to take out to the river in the summer; they just bought a lake house, and are busily renovating it; they go to plays and concerts; they travel. It's really inspirational to see how other people enjoy life and have fun with each other.
Talk to your husband and suggest doing things together. There's gotta be *something* he might enjoy. If he's not willing to try anything new, and can't accept you going out and doing things without him - there WILL be a war if you try and force him to change. He needs to understand the problem and be willing to work on it. Ask yourself why you married him in the first place; not everyone is perfect, and he must have redeeming qualities for you to choose him as a husband. Maybe in your case the answer would be to focus on his good qualities, but keep in touch with a few friends and do things with them, leaving your husband to his soccer games.
2007-11-16 05:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My ppz I have a man he don t cheat but he normally gamble and once in a year not everyday and eveery year he looses his job because of this gambling thing i never cheat on him and now i feel is time for me to just live a little because there is a guy am flirting with and is almost 3 years ,i just feel is time for me to have fun with him but his a married man and also married but i doubht to cheat because i love my husband but now i feel like am tired of taking care of him i always forgive him his like a son to me and now am tired and we are 7 years married but still nothing changes and now he has lil bit change is almost 4 months and what if next year he does that again please help on this one
2015-06-18 22:42:57 · answer #8 · answered by Judith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe start with thing that you know HE will like. Invite friends or neighbors over for BBQ and a soccer game.
Then the next week, tell him you ge tto pick the weekend activity.
My husband is resistant to going out, spending money, and wasting time on things we "don't need." I just point out that we need a "date night" for us.
2007-11-16 04:52:22 · answer #9 · answered by teresa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow..! you have one of those controling hubby and the worse part of it is he doesn't care about how you feel, but you have choosen him to be your husband so you have to try to manage it, especially if you have a children.
My husband also is a controling hubby. He don't like me to mix too much with other people but he is very loving really...he helps me with the house work. We have been married for 14 years and have 4 children...he is still the same controlling but a very helpful husband.
So i guess, you have to think for yourself about your husband...maybe you can try to talk about it to you husband. Let him know about how you feel, this better than keep it to yourself. If thing get worse than ask your heart....the right answer is there...
Some one used to said this to me long before i married to my husband...one day if you get married and it happen that you find something that you dislike about your husband, don't mark him as a bad person...try to think about the good think about him, you will find things are more easier for you to go through you marriage life than keep looking at his weakness.( bad part)
2007-11-16 07:09:34 · answer #10 · answered by ein 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋