My grandfather has alzheimers, and he is so mean sometimes!!!?

Question

My grandfather was diagnosed with alzheimers; sometimes he is aware, and some days he is out of it. Anyway, i've noticed that he can be so mean now, and say the meanest things. I really felt bad for my grandmother because she had a stroke a few years ago, she is handicapped, and you cannot really understand what she is saying now. Her speech is very garbled, even after therapy, and I doubt that it will get better. Anyway, the other day she was trying to say something to my grandpa, and he started making fun of her speech, and my grandma looked very sad. It made me want to cry, and I know it's wrong, but I felt kind of resentful towards him for making my grandma feel bad about her speech. He also says rude and mean things to us sometimes too; he would have never been like this before, and I try to remember that. How can we stop him from being like this? I love him to death and hate what this disease is doing to him; how can we handle his meanness?

Answer 1

just tell him to f-off..........he wont remember it!

Answer 2

This is a stage of Alzheimer's Disease. It is really rough on those around the person. He is not aware of what he is doing. He is very agitated and taking it out on those close to him. There are meds that could help this, but they may be too sedating. Talk with the doctor about it. Also, there should be an organization such as The Alzheimer's Disease Association. They can provide quite a bit of support and they may know of some resources that could help in the home.

Answer 3

First of all, take no notice of the people on here who are trying to make you feel worse than you already do. You didn`t ask for opinions - you asked for help. Your mother is partly to blame as part of the money he receives is for care - and you are providing that - therefore you should be paid. Tell her if you are not paid your dues she can do the job herself. If she does start to pay you then you have no reason or excuse to take money from your grandfather again. If she refuses o hand over the money then tell her the job is hers and walk away - then you won`t be around him to be tempted to take money will you ? You don`t say it but i get the feeling you resent having to do this job and taking the money is your way od rebelling against it. Is that right ? Sounds like your mother is having a great time on his money and this needs putting a stop to as well. At least you have been honest and want to put it right - which is more than can be said for her. Look if i were you i would not do this job any longer as it`s causing you an enormous amount of stress in many ways. Tal to your mother and be straight with her - she needs to sort this out and stop using you as a housemaid/nurse. Don`t beat yourself up over it - admitting you have a problem is half way to solving it - and admitting what you have done shows you are a decent person at heart regardless of what you have done. You posters doing the name calling and judging this young man obviously live in a bubble and know nothing aout the real world. He is obviously under a lot of pressure and the last thing he needs is people like you adding to it. Because you`re all so perfect and self riteous - yes...? Yes i bet !

Answer 4

Unfortunately, you can't stop him from being like this. Just take it with a pinch of salt and accept it as part of his illness. The illnes is making his thought processes all garbled, and his short term memory will go. People with Alzheimer's will often remember their loved ones how there were 20 or 30 years ago. They won't have a clue who the people around them are in their actual older ages and will resent them for being there instead of the people whom they think they miss. Often the younger members of the family either won't exist at all to them, or they think they ought to be babies. The tend to get nasty when they feel defenseless against the strangers surrounding them and they miss the people how they remember them in their heads.
Unfortunately they can't communicate this as they won't believe these old people are those that they miss.

Answer 5

I really feel for your family. I can't imagine what its like to have someone change like that. I would just be there for your grandma and explain to her that he can't control it. Maybe take her out alone so she can have those good memories of the two of you spending time together. I wish ur family the best

Answer 6

I think you have to really for their good euthanize them man. Even though that seems evil you have to because they're not going to remember everything and freak out and stuff. I'm sorry for your family and stuff.