Wat is so bad about teenage mums?

Question

i had my daugter at 14 she is now 2 years old and she couldn't be doing any better
people said that young mothers are not as capable to look after their children as adults i dont see how this is possilble
i wasnt one of those people that became pregnant by accident i did it on purpose, at the age of twelve i was told by the doctor that at a very young age there was a high possibility that i would lose all chance of ever having childen. this came as a shock so me and my parents decided that seeing as i had always wanted to grow up and have childen and a husband u know the average child future, that i had no chance of that happening so we decided that i was going to have children at an early age. i have coped fine and i have a second child on the way but y does everyone think that a teenager is not going to be able to look after a child?
thanx
xxxx

Answer 1

First of all, no one is saying teenage motherhood is all bad. What the facts and statistics show are that single mothers are:

1. At high risk for poverty
2. Less likely to finish high school and college
3. More likely to suffer from abuse and violence
4. More likely to abuse drugs and alcohol
5. More likely to have children with behavioral problems, delays in learning, social problems and also put their children at higher risk of poverty and abuse.

There are some exceptions to every rule, but the overwhelmig majority of single mothers suffer in many negative ways. Therefore, it is something society should never condone or encourage.

Secondly, although the vast majority of teens do not choose to be pregnant, some (like you) do and I have to say your reasons for doing so were NOT justified.

The doctor's diagnosis was his best guess. It was not a death sentence for your chances at being a mother. Impregnating yourself at age 14 was irresponsible and selfish considering that you had NO husband to commit to you and the baby for life.

I can't believe your parents helped you do this and I can't believe you are doing it again.

Are you engaged? Planning to be married? I sure hope so!

Answer 2

Whats so bad about it.

Ask any hard working person how much they like paying a crap load of taxes every pay period only so some 16 year old mother of god knows who's children can bring in more income in a month then they do. Thats the main thing thats wrong with it. Average income for a single welfare/assistance parent with one child were I live is nearing the 2000.00 dollar mark. It makes me sick just sick.

Secondly teenagers are kids....plain and simple whether it offends you or not your a child raising children. Your poor poor kids.
Did you look in to the risk factors of having children so young? the risk for both you and the baby? You were content with the possibility of having a premi? Watching him/her suffer or possibly die? Did you like the idea of knowing that your baby could come so early it may never be able to breath on its own? Or that it could be mentally retarded so beyond help that he or she would get to sit in a chair all day long? All just simply based on your age???? If you were 110% content with all that and the other risk factors for just simply your age group than you should be sterilized. No child should have to suffer any of that just because "Mommy wanted a baby"

Dont get me completely wrong some do, some including one of my best friends from high school are WONDERFUL mothers at young ages, but the truth is most don't. Most milk the system for every cent they can, are to lazy to make an honest dollar and are complete trash. While a poor innocent child suffers.

Your case if even at all true is rare increadbly rare. Even more rare is parents who will willingly let their daughter get pregnant at 14. So go blow your sap story else were. NO sane parent would let their daughter who hasn't even fully hit and went though puberty get pregnant. If your case is true...your a selfish individual who obviously doesn't know the joys of what adoption can bring in to someones life who loves kids but is unable to have them.

Answer 3

Usually teenagers aren't mature enough, haven't finished their education, and don't have a steady income or enough money to provide for a baby. Teenagers are also more likely to do things such as take drugs or drink heavily which is not good for a child's safety and development. Usually teenagers are unmarried and while single moms can be great moms, having a father in the picture is usually good where possible. Teenagers are also more likely to teach their children poor grammar, spelling, and curse words at a young age which doesn't help the children to grow into productive young adults.

Your situation is clearly different and it's wonderful that you have the kids you want - but you asked about teenage moms in general so my response may not apply to you.

Answer 4

This has got to be one of the most ignorant situations I have ever come across. What a selfish person you are, you got what you wanted, what about the kids. They're going to be in Kindergarten while their mommy is still in high school. Other children will humiliate them because their mom is barely old enough to drive. I could go on but what's the point. Simply put, children should not have children. You are neither mentally, nor financially fit to be a parent, hell you can't even get a job, who's paying the bills? your parents, or me and the rest of the tax burdened country.

Answer 5

Wouldn't it have made more sense to look into freezing your eggs to store them for later use? Then you could still get pregnant and your parents wouldn't raising their grandchildren. People think teens shouldn't be mothers because you are still a child yourself. In order for people to accept you as a mother you have to be the primary caregiver. Do you have a job, probably not. So I repeat your parents are raising your children. Your parents are taking care of your children as though they were their own. They support all of you, feed you, and keep a roof over your head. How do you contribute to the family?

Answer 6

Well I'm 16 and i don't have children, I always said that I wanted children, and at an early age but I'm always told that it hurts, and your 2 young, u cant handle a baby, and its gonna get put off 2 my mom but i say I think people should have kids early because, you can be able have energy behind you kids you don't have 2 b old 2 be happy with kids.

Answer 7

i think you miss out on alot of the things you should be doing at your age...i also was a mom at 17...i have 6 wonderful children and 6 even more wonderful grandkids...but so many of the things you lost...my husband married me when I had two children..been married for 33 years...we are just now learning what it was like to be friends...as a young parent i was able to do alot of things with my children that older parents don't do..like sledding, skating

Answer 8

You have a strange family. Did your parents also help you choose the father(s) of your children?

For the most part, children are not emotionally nor financially equipped to deal with the responsibility of parenthood. It's a simple fact.

So now what? You're going to be 17 years old with 2 young kids. What's next? Are you going to college? Or have you pretty much fulfilled your life's goals?

Answer 9

Well I guess your reasoning is pretty legit. I think teen moms have a bad reputation because so many of them don't understand how difficult it really is to be a mom, and all the responsibilities, and the fact that once you have kids, your party life is over. Most don't plan their pregnancies. They just have sex, unprotected or not, and end up pregnant then have no idea what to do, because they are scared, and dont have the support of their parents to help them get through a time in their life where mentally they are not ready for a baby, and physically their bodies shouldnt go through the process. Congrats on your babies. I think that you made a somewhat wise choice, if your doc really said what he said. I'm 21 years old and have always wanted kids, and if I was put in a situation like that at 14, I don't know what I would have done, because at that age I was not ready at all.

Answer 10

In general, it is true that very young mothers don't look after their children well. So many end up neglected or raised by grandparents because she wants to do what other young women do - party, date, etc. etc.

I think your parents gave you poor advice to have a child so young for any reason and I won't condone it. However, at least they are around to help to back up their decision.