I have been seperated for a year and divorced for 4 months now. My marriage ended to due the discovery of a second affair with a different co-worker. I'm not bitter, I'm actually happy our marriage is over. He was no longer the man I married and loved. He is still with the girl whom he refers to as his "friend". He has continued to beg me to give him another chance and has even harrassed me. I don't encourage his come ons and have told him repeatedly that it's over. He has finally stopped calling at home, on my cell & at work ( I think his girl may have found out).. He still does some strange things but I ignore it for the most part. Here's where I need help.. Last night I accidentally open a letter addressed to him from a church.. It talks about him setting up a meeting for him and his girl to go over possible wedding dates.. It looks like he purposely mailed the letter to my home address.. Why would he do this? What normal person does this?
2007-11-16 03:23:56 · 42 answers · asked by Caligirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry to hear of your troubles.
I think the reason he sent you the letter is because he feels that it still may hurt your feelings, or worse, make you feel jealous and perhaps make a bad decision.
It does not sound like he was a very good husband....two affairs. Put him behind you. There are plenty of men out there that would be much more appreciative of you then he was.
2007-11-16 03:30:55 · answer #1 · answered by matt b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using another tactic. He's hoping you miss him so much, you'll take him back after you "secretly" discover he's considering marriage. If that's the only mail for him you got, he's already changed his mailing address with all of the other places he gets mail from. Why would he not change it with the church as well?
He's trying to rub salt in the wound and hopes you will put up a fight to get him back. Hand him the letter, appologize for opening it, and simply tell him congratulations on his wedding plans. You not giving 2-sh*ts what he does will make take him down a notch. Show any concern and he accomplished his mission – he got you second guessing.
2007-11-16 03:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what part of the world you are in Ma'am but I have friends in India who could have written exactly your words ! Which means that such men are to be found universally. Having said that do not despair, this chap per se is not the only have with ths psychological problem.
Men you see are not given to accepting the fact that a woman can leave them ( if even they are wholely in the wrong). You have just hit him where it hurts the most - his ego ! Hence the plaintive appeals ( including this left handed "threat" in the post) to take him back.
You have rightly snapped him right out of your radar and that's where he stays - period ! Legally, you have your rights and you could always complain to the authorities of harrassment in case he tries to communicate with you in any form or cause you any further emotional harm.
He doesn't have a good relationship with his "friend" either and he's right now groping for emotional straws to hitch his ego balloon too. Stay the pace. Don't give in. He'll go away
2007-11-16 03:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by knightjoles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not normal. He is still bitter about the divorce and he is not over you! He is being childish and I'm certain the letter was mailed to you on purpose. Whatever you do, never mention it to him or any mutual friends that you may have. If you do, it will give him the sick satisfaction that he is looking for. Stay strong and go on being happy!
2007-11-16 03:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by clemenza222 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not normal. . . ignore it and be happy that he's going to be someone else's problem. Maybe he'll finally leave you alone.
I went through a similar issue - my ex didn't cheat but after we were done, he kind of tried to "hang on." One day when he asked me if we could get together sometime and "date" (he knows I have a partner) I asked him what the woman he was currently dating would think of that. . . he had no answer and hung up on me. It took a long time for him to "hint" again that he wasn't over me. It's been two years and just last week he asked if I wanted to date. . .he doesn't bug me but he does drop it on my once it awhile. It's not creepy - just annoying and I'm sorry he can't seem to get over me.
Have pity on this man and get on with your life . . .or more so, have pity on the next woman he has "chosen to spend his life with!"
2007-11-16 03:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Share 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because love and lust make people do some pretty irrational things. It sounds like he is immature on a lot of levels and needs your attention, even if it is negative attention. Send him a letter back with a picture of you and a super-hot guy on a beach somewhere, telling "Dirk" how much you enjoyed meeting him in Cancun. You can make one on your computer with Photoshop or get a friend to make one for you. LOL that'll teach him a lesson!
2007-11-16 03:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by dcgirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already have proof of how effective "ignoring" him is. He's now stopped calling you at home, at work, and on your cell. The best thing to do is to put the words "not at this address" on the front of the letter and remail it. It will be sent to his new address or back to the sender.
2007-11-16 04:47:05 · answer #7 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,you had a fight with him. He begged u 4 another chance. Now that u r ignoring him,he decided 2 break up with u and get married again.
2007-11-16 03:30:10 · answer #8 · answered by delinastarz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's got problems. he's setting up a meeting to marry this girl, but he deliberately wants you to know. Either because he wants you to be jealous, as he still has feelings for you or he wanst you to be the excuse as he has doubts about this girl. He's playing emotional blackmail or using you as an excuse.
I'd send the letter on and wish him good luck and farewell
2007-11-16 03:28:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he is attempting to hurt you. I would contact the church or ministry via mail. And politely inform them of his new address. I would also write " No Longer At This Address ' on any and all mail that comes there.
2007-11-16 03:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋