My husband and I are getting a divorce weither he likes it or not and he is so damn wishy washy I am about to pull my hair out!!
One day he doesn't want to ever see our son again the next he does grr then so I meet with him last night to go over the divorce papers which I have been very fair in!!!!
So he says I am not going to sign them! Why is he being so ignorant?
This is what I put in the divorce visits every other weekend I would provide transportation no property to divide up and the courts will figure out the child support.
Here is more of the story I have a restraining order in another state against him he has 2 felonies for beating me in front of the kids and a no contact order so if I wanted to I could really take his son away but I am being nice
Not to mention he never allowed me to work and I am not seeking spousal support. I find myself hating him so much and getting to the point that I want it done so it is about to turn nasty how is this I used to love him so much???
2007-11-16 03:03:57 · 21 answers · asked by ღKrissyღ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try again daddy john deer we are not living together and thank god he beat the $hit out of me in front of our son and my daughter yes I have moved on and I had every right too!!!!!
Never did anything happen with anyone until we were way over I know some women are like that but not I!!!!
2007-11-16 03:18:31 · update #1
Ok everyone I am NOT living with him haven't been and did not cheat he has a temper why are some of you turning this around on me he would get mad when I went to the store, wore makeup yadda yadda ya I am sure I made mistakes but far less then him and none of that really matters I just want a divorce and to be civil about it but am learning that he is a dork and is gonna screw himself over.... SO BE IT AT THIS POINT!!!!
Last night his comment to me was I have no clue as to where you found this new attitude but you are surely being a B I T C H this is for sticking up for myself grr some people here make me so upset all people are not the same ok
2007-11-16 03:23:40 · update #2
It's been said that hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is the opposite of love. Love and hate are both full of passion, and are therefore akin to one another.
As CS Lewis put it so graphically: "hate is what love bleeds when it is cut."
I am sorry you are going through so much pain right now.
2007-11-16 03:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by Michael M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt want to lose you. But of course the more he tries to restrain you by using the kids and saying he isnt going to sign the papers etc only makes you want to escape even more. Just a warning though, if he wants the kids he can also fight for them. If he wants them 50% of the time, he is entitled to that as long as he is not deemed a "bad parent" And if he can provide BETTER for them and wants to take on the responsiblity, he can even seek full custody and give YOU visitation. That is all up to the courts. It isnt like the old days. Fathers have just as much right to their children. And the thing about hitting you in front of the kids doesnt mean a thing if he has never harmed the children. You have to prove he is unfit to THEM. .....At least in California. Been there done that!
2007-11-16 03:50:09 · answer #2 · answered by Mom of 7 gramma of 3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love can turn to hate because when people we love the most hurt us, it emotionally hurts much worse than if it had been done by a stranger. You expect someone you love to treat you well and to love you.....when that doesn't happen, I think it just creates this huge hole in your heart and slowly anger just fills it up.
If he beat you, I would personally reconsider giving him unsupervised visits. But that's just my opinion. I wouldn't want my child to even have him has an influence in his life! He might grow up to be just like him and then how will you feel? You're trying to be very fair and nice which is great. It's how mature adults act. I don't blame you, though, for getting angrier by the minute. Sweetie, asking for what you DESERVE and what your child deserves is not being mean....it's simply reality. So, I WOULD ask for the spousal support if he makes enough money. He made you not work which in turn makes it much harder for you to get a job now and that will affect how much money you have to raise your son with.
2007-11-16 03:11:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you seeing him if you have a restraining order on him??? Doesn't matter what state your in he could hurt you In front of your kids again. Very unfair to your kids to even chance it. And maybe you need to quit being so nice. Think about what you put in that decree it is final until your kids are 18 or out of school. Are there any guarantees he will not hurt your son later when he gets angry? sounds like he has issues.
Think about putting counseling requirements in the papers. Then take it to a lawyer have him file and if ex doesn't like whats in there he can argue in court
2007-11-16 03:26:16 · answer #4 · answered by cindyokie1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So many married couples on this form and others having trouble with their mate.. it must be cause both were dishonest in the beginning. Well if you are really getting beat up then run away as fast as you can even if you have to get to another city. If your really in dire situation get a total new identity
Edenpress.com can help you do that! ( I was thinking about marrying someone but now I'm not going to because of what I seen on this forum and other forums.. I don't want to be in divorce situation).
2007-11-16 04:36:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We live in a world where our selfishness knows no limits. He thinks he is a saint and I am certain you think the same about yourself. A man hitting a woman is wrong but society blows it so out of proportion. If you did not cheat on your man and he found out, look in his face and tell him that you love him despite everything. He bond to reciprocate. Men know honesty when they see it. If you had cheated on him I suggest you push for that divorce. Men never totally forgive infidelity though they expect to be forgiven. Your life can be one big nightmare if you choose to stay. The man gives love and the woman receives. He may just choose to with hold hos love from you or give you some fake loving. You know what you did, sort yourself out.
2007-11-16 03:17:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
People change. Its hard because how can you really ever know a person? Sometimes it just takes a while to see their true colors. You are leaving a relationship which is the first step towards something positive. Just do what is right for the kids.
2007-11-16 03:07:15 · answer #7 · answered by hellnocutco 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Feel better now?
How can love turn to hate? Simple: When you love someone, you make yourself totally vulnerable and open to them. And when that backfires, as this seems to have, you feel doubly or triply cheated and disillusioned... and then you start remembering all the things you let slide rather than make trouble, all the unreciproacted acts of kindness and forgiveness. It's a fairly understood process.
Sorry about your luck.
2007-11-16 03:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Vincent Van Jessup 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has felonies for beating on you it may be out of your hands. Your lawyer might want to add that. I wouldn't worry about him not signing the papers with his record. He is lucky to even see the kids. Some judges won't allow visitation unless it's supervised because of his abusive past. Good luck!
2007-11-16 03:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, love is blind and when you're in the honeymoon state, you overlook a lot of clues that would tell you the person he really is. you'll tend to make excuses for his bad behavior because more then being in love with him, more often, we are in love with being in love. society put so much emphasis on how wonderful love is, we all want to experience it and hence turn a blind eye to apparent faults. after being in a relationship for a period of time, the honeymoon state wears off, the chemistry has dulled and you wake up.
2007-11-16 03:15:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋