What happened? It can't possibly be that serious.?

Question

Became really cool friends with a classmate (college) We decided no relationship, but had love for each other. We did have a sexual relationship that benefited both of us and we always had fun. We managed to keep our private relationship from our friendship which was even better. Well we got into a really bad argument bc he asked me to pick him up from wk, and after i dropped everything i was doing, when i got there, he had already found another ride. Keep in mind I was clear across town. That started a huge argument bc this wasn't the first time that happened, he did little things like this often. Now he ignores my calls and text messages, continues to sit next to me in class, and won't even look at me. Two weeks later i go to his house, and he tells me the reason was bc when i get angry it's bad, and I don't let things go. He was supposed to be my best male friend, and he took our friendship away without discussing it with me first. It literally broke my heart I don't get it

I was always good to him, and of course the better friend, but I accepted him as is and we had a great friendship, well at least that's what I thought. I even got him a job working at a restau. for my brother, I bought his work clothes, drove him to and from school, listened when he needed an ear, I was a great friend to him why would he just end everything? I should be pissed and treat him like **** bc now i felt like he used me. yes i get pissed but i had every right to, and when i ask him why he does those things he acts like it's not a big deal, and then i get even angrier. Is it his age? he's 20 and i'm 28

Answer 1

Perhaps it was getting too close ... If wasn't just a friend with benefits anymore ......

Either way, compromise & communication ... you have to get & have both to make it work .... if he isn't ....it's time to move on.

I hope it works out for you ... just you worry about making you happy .... if he misses the boat ...... oh well.

Answer 2

it could be the age. men are very immature especially at that age. all they think about is sex or what they can get out of someone that will benefit them. ok, not all men but most of them.
im going to give u the sad honest truth here. he is using u. he likes the good times but bails when the bad times come. he doesnt want to deal with it. any person who bails when something difficult arrives is immature and irresponsible. why? because they do not know how to handle it and does not want to handle it. i hate to say it but ur kinda stupid. u gave everything to this guy without a commitment?! thats perfect for him! he gets to sleep with you when he wants, he asks help from u and u give it to him right away, u provided for him financially in some level and then when the ugly part arrives (arguments), he flees. well, the nice thing about commitment is that u dont have to deal with it because u dont HAVE to!! u gave him the best deal.
look, since u dont have the commitment, u cant really complain to him. yeah ur friends but u see him in a different way. he sees u in a lower-different kinda way. like u arent that important. if u were, he would have cared. he wouldnt do anything to hurt u and wouldnt run when argument arrives. like it or not, u brought this upon urself.
what to do? leave him. treat him the way u are treating him so he knows it feels like sh!t. if he doesnt care still, then u know now the he is sooooooo not worth it.u deserve better than that. u need to find someone who will value the things u do for him and will treat u the same way or better. he is probably just too young to understand right now. its not going to be easy but ur gonna have to do it. unless u want to continue being treated like sh!t then ur on ur own.

Answer 3

If you are messing around with a 20 year old boy you should expect boy behavior.

You may have been a friend but to be sexual changes EVERYTHING. You went from being a friend to an F'buddy.
To a 20 year old that equals not much considerstion.

I'm not sure a 28 year old will have a lot more maturity in dealing with you but your odds are a lot higher.

Did you not ever wonder why there are a lot more 28 year old women with 40 year old men than 20 year old ones?

Answer 4

So what you are admitting here is that you are both users and sluts. Ok?

Now you also admit you were probably in love with him but too chicken to confess it to him because the two of you had an agreement to use each other for sex and "fun" and be sluts and now you are mad cause you aren't allowed to play his game anymore.

Trust me, girl.. it is OK to let him go and stop playing games with your life.

Answer 5

i think he was using OR things were getting to serious for him. and didnt want that or sumthing.

if u ignore him and show no emotions to anything u have to say with him for awhile, then he'll try coming back, that is if u want him back

Answer 6

This is not a friendship, he is a user and you are a door mat.

Answer 7

its not his age..its your vulnerability...he treats u this way becuz you allow him to..start acting like he doesnt matter..he will come around