Me and my husband live like we are in the 50's?

Question

Does any one else live like this and how do they cope? I dont work and have a 6 month old baby, I do everything in the house, cook, clean, look after the baby, iron, wash I mean EVERYTHING. My husband works 7 till 7 in a high powered job pays all the bills and I get whatever I want. The only thing is I am so unhappy. I am exhausted and when my husband comes home the baby is ready for bed so all he does is put him into his cot. I am so tired and think I might be despressed, my husband doesnt understand at all and I cant talk to him. He doesnt notice anything I do, and always seem to be complaining about something

Answer 1

well, he's probably complaining because, if you forget one thing, he notices.
maybe you've been spoiling him.

and I dont hink you're depressed, you have every right to be upset about things.
I think that things will change when your baby grows up,
you will have one less thing to worry about for when he/she's at school.

talk to your husband.

good luck

Answer 2

I suggest you look into mother and baby get togethers such as swimming or yoga or massage, there are a lot of mommy and me type classes out there - the point being to get out of the house!
Can you hire a nanny? or mothers help to do some of the house work?
It may not cost a lot and may help you loads?
Can you invite other women into your home during the day?The idea being to give you some grownup time and for you to have a reason to get dressed up!
Can you buy readily prepared foods - heat 'em up kind of things maybe once or twice a week? - Make one night takeaway night and another night you all go out for a meal?And other than that cook food in big amounts and then freeze and defrost?
Go online and chat to other women in your situation - this will help.
Maybe stop trying to be perfect?Can you let some things slip around the house?Like not vacuum every day or only hand wash pots when you have a dishwasher? Things like that?
What about a laundry service for his shirts?Get them washed and ironed for you.
Please consider trying some of the above.
I doubt you are depressed, you seem overwhelmed, isolated and exhausted and lost some of your identity - seems normal actually for what you are going through.
If you are concerned about depression talk to your doctor.
Other advice - take a b vitamin supplement as that will help with energy metabolism.Ginseng will help for energy and stamina and starflower or evening primrose oil will help for your mood to do with hormones. - watch your diet - its you fuel!
Take care and good luck and congratulations on the baby!
Edit:
Seems like both of you are stressed and tired here - have a calm chat with how you feel and tell him (not ask) what you want (please do some of the above I advised)

Answer 3

Yes, you are depressed.....you don't seem to value what you do around the house and for your baby, therefore why would your husband?

I think you should look for a 'mother's morning out' program at a local church and consider taking two mornings a week just to yourself!

During that time, do whatever it is you want....browse through your favorite stores, soak in the tub, get a pedicure, pick back up an old hobby....

you have to stop waiting for your husband to 'allow' you some time to get centered and make it happen for yourself.

It's not uncommon for new moms to go through this period. Hang in there and don't forget you picked him to begin with, so try to rekindle some of those thoughts as well.

Answer 4

In a way, both of you don't know how lucky you are to have each other. You have financial security and can get whatever you want and you husband has you running around after him. You shouldn't be acting like his slave though. Can't you get a cleaner in once or twice a week, just to help you out a bit? I suffer from depression myself, and it is very hard to look after a baby when you feel down. have you been doctors? As for your husband moaning about everything, some people are just never happy, or maybe it's his way of dealing with stress from work.

Answer 5

you two may need to sit down for a heart to heart. try to tell him how you feel without pointing fingers (that way he won't feel like your complaining, but instead sharing how you are feeling)
I'm not staying this is the case, but after having a baby, some women get the baby blues and it can come and go I think for two years (not sure about the time) anyway you may have two things going on at once, 1. a touch of the baby blues and 2. your man really needs to help out more. Good luck

Answer 6

It's tough to be in that situation. Remember, you have a 6-month old baby. So it's very stressful on you and takes a lot of energy in the beginning. Soon, it'll be easier to get him to a sitter and spend some nights out with your husband.

Even now, you should make an effort to go out once a week....even if it's just for 3-4 hours. Try new things and keep the relationship fresh.

Also, is it possible you are having some post-partum depression?? Perhaps you should consult a physician to see if you have those symptoms.

Answer 7

I know where your coming from. I've been a stay at home mom for like 9 years. My man has a GREAT paying job..I get everything I want, beautiful home....BUT money does not buy happiness. My man use to do the same thing and complain sometimes but somehow he understood what I was going through when I got into a car accident and he had to do EVERYTHING like getting our child ready for school, make his lunch...cook breakfast...laundry...etc...He realized that he was taking me for granted.....Just COMMUNICATE with him. Being a stay at mom is also a BIG job!! I'm taking classes now the local UNIVERSITY and it has helped my unhappiness A LOT!

Answer 8

You cannot sort this out without eventually talking about your feelings with your husband. Speak to your mother, mother in law or best friend for advice and assistance if you cannot approach your husband yourself now you need emotional support until you can. He is probably just as tired as you trying hard to survive and or progress at work. You do sound depressed so if you cannot get any other support tell your Dr you are depressed and seek some advice/ assistance.

Answer 9

yeah well i hate to tell you enjoy it- I have 4 kids and my ex husband now my boyfriend hasn't worked in a year and a half- side jobs here and there but essentially its not enough- I am looking for a seond job and I also do 99% of the work in the house. So get a grip because the shoe could be on the other foot and you could have to work too!

Answer 10

Why are you continuing the same life style if you are unhappy? you're your own person,if you want to,get a job put baby in day care and split chores with hubby. Talk to him, tell what you are going to do. Don't ask permission though. Tell him you are open for his thoughts on the matter. But you don't intend on doing it the same way as you were. And he is responsible for the home and baby as much as you are.

Answer 11

See your doctor, could be baby blues. FYI : most new moms feel unappreciated, you are tired and even bored staying home all day with a baby for company. Look for a mommy and me class or something where you can meet other mommies. Also try taking a nap when the baby takes one. Good luck, it does get better.