Why does ignoring a married man make him want you more?

Question

Make this quick, married guy hitting on a married woman, only verbally!! As he knows and she knows it can never be more. She ignores him, but he has obviously fallen for her in his mind and goes to a place where he knows he will see her, and when he does he finds some way to speak to her, she only responds shortly but not rude. What is his reason for doing this? How far can his crush go, this has been going on for a year?

Answer 1

OMG Princess! I am in the same exact situation right now except for 1 year it's been more like 3 or 4! this guy will not take no for an answer and he's supposed to be like a church going person. I mean he's really into the church. Church music is all he listens too and he's always quoting things from the bible. I tell him no all the time and here recently I've been just downright rude to the guy. I work with him and I hardly acknowledge him when he walks into or by my office and it's really pathetic, especially the lame things he'll try to do to get my attention. And what I really don't understand is why he insists on hitting on me when he has a beautiful wife. I mean I'm not exaggerating she's really pretty. And it seems like if I ignore him that he would just go away, but it seems like the more I ignore him the worse he gets. I don't know what to do anymore.

Answer 2

Politely ask him to stop. If he's a reasonable guy you could share your concerns with him then he'd back off. If he's a jerk about it then tell your husband and the police you think he's stalking you. He probably doesn't mean any harm but be careful. If he is in fact a married man knowingly hitting on a married woman I'd wonder about his true character. On the other hand are you sure he doesn't just want you for a friend simply because he likes you? Face it, some men don't know how to talk to a woman without making the occasional sexual reference even when they just expect to have her for a friend and respect the fact that she already has a special someone in her life. I've known perfectly nice, respectful men who didn't mean any harm but just didn't know how to stop sounding like they were always around other men on a construction site. That may or may not be your situation. I'm just suggesting trying to look at it from all angles before assuming he's a total creep who's stalking you but like I said be careful and good luck.

Answer 3

If I wanted to separate a group of people and DESTROY them I wouldn't say horrible things, I'd say sinister clever things instead. I went through a stage where I almost gave up on the idea of a future with a black guy before i'd truly started because of the things I kept hearing about them. Bear in mind this situation is a lot lot lot worse in the uk than the US because over 55% of black men are with white women here. Do u see why I thought '****!'? And i started seeing all these videos about how black women were 'making a stand' by marrying white men and i went off boohoohooing about i guess i'll HAVE to go with white guys then. then i woke up the next day like wtf? every video, article or news article that I had seen had been made by middle/upper class white people who were in high positions of influencial/political power and that I dont personally think are the kind of people that smile genuinely when black people win nobel prizes or asians make scientific breakthroughs, you know what I mean? So the clever idiots make snark little remarks and show 'evidence' to 'prove' that in essence, you lot are gonna wipe yourselves out of existence because i lied and said you didnt like each other. that's why racists choose to ignore that

Answer 4

Some people (it's not unique to married men or even married people) just can't resist the "forbidden fruit". If they're told they can't have something, they only want it all the more. If this married man can't take the hint that a married woman is not interested in him after a year, it's time for her to be more direct. She should start by taking him aside and gently telling him that she really doesn't enjoy his flirting and she would prefer that he stop. If he still persists, she needs to tell him flat out that she is not interested in him and that his flirting is not at all appreciated. If he doesn't get the hint, she should threaten to tell his wife.

Answer 5

Sounds to me more like he has more than a crush but an obsession problem. Stalking is a crime in the state of Florida. I do not know about other states. If at all possible make sure that some of your friends know what is going on and make sure they also see him if you spot him watching you. If possible make sure he can be seen on those little cameras around that stores use.

Men who fantasize unreasonably are past "romanctic dreaming" and have gone over into the realm of stalking. Be careful, girl.

Answer 6

There could be a lot of answers to your question!

Maybe deep down inside he doesn't think much of himself and flirts with you to build up his self esteem. Maybe he is a Type A personality who likes danger; being married might have become a little too tame for him. Maybe he is unhappy in his marriage and a fantasy about another woman makes him happy. Maybe it's his character, maybe he just has always been a flirtatious sort of guy. Maybe he really does care for you and just can't help himself, no matter how rude you are.

Good luck with this one. I think that this is a situation that could become very uncomfortable.

Answer 7

Some men just naturally flirt. I was accused of that all of my life. And I can't believe the looks of some of those mooses that I was accused of wanting to mount. You need to really know the guy first and know all about his character. He might not even like you at all. He's just being a natural.

Answer 8

ignoring married man

Answer 9

He is persuing her because she wants him to and you always want what you can't have. The chase is exhilerating and our expectaions usually exceed reality.
My guess is this woman is giving him some reason to continue persuing her. If she was really giving him the red flag he would take the hint..........no one is gonna keep going down a deadend street. The chase is fun, but there has to be hope of a reward to keep the race going for that length of time.
It takes two to tango :).

Answer 10

It definately sounds like he's got a little thing for you.It's like the saying goes...WE ALL WANT WHAT WE CAN'T HAVE..Some people like the thrill and excitement of the chase.If you give in he probably will back away,not saying to do that.You excite him because you don't give him what he wants.If it really bothers you,confront him about it.