We have been dating for almost a year, what if i told her that i needed more variety in bed..with other girls?

Question

take a small time to read this please

i do love her by the way...but we have a distance relationship, we only see each other at the end of each week, sometimes 2 weeks

and, i now feel that i would also like to explore other girls body..it's a difficult thing to deal with, it's like trying to fight back with your own nature or instinct...altought i did never and will NEVER betray her.. what if we BOTH could find a way to explore more? I know she's not interested... but i am i guess...maybe just massaging other girls booty with my hands..i love it. So, if i told her i would love to touch other girls....would i regret? I would, woudn't I? im have 25 she has 19 years old....

I just don't want to look back a few years from now and think that i have lost all these opportunities to be with other girls

Maybe im being selfish, or,i dont' know,what do you think?

by the way i have put this question here in Marriage&Divorce category to try to get more mature answers from experienced couples

Answer 1

If you truly loved this girl, you wouldn't think about hurting her in this way - plus you wouldn't want another girl! If it's not truly love, then yes, you are wasting time right now with the wrong person. Don't continue to date her and put your hands on another womans body - it is so wrong because it will hurt her, it will make her feel worthless and unloved, she is still young with a beautiful but fragile heart.... don't ruin her! Do not ever tell her that you need more variety in bed, take some time to think about your relationship. Can you go on without her? Do you truly love her? Will you have regrets if you let this one slip away? Are there other girls out there who could satisfy you more (not just physically)? Then decide whether or not to call it quits.... it's not fair for either of you to be in a relationship where one just isn't feeling the love - everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they love and are loved unconditionally and to its fullest. If you don't really want to be with her, you are cheating her out of finding her true love too....

Answer 2

If you are so bored with your existing relationship that you must find excitement elsewhere you have some serious decisions to make.

Either you like this girl or you do not. Either she is satisfying your curiosity or not. Why don't you try to do all the fantasy things with her that you want to do with others.

Here is your test of what to do. Suppose she came to you and said that she wanted to have a 3 way with another guy. How would you feel.

If you can agree to share her with another guy then you have every right to expect her to share you with another girl. What is fair for you is also fair for her.

I think, with what you have said in this question, that you relationship with this girl is about over and you are ready to move on. This is based on your statements.

In reality you are not having enough and want more. This once a week visitation is not what you want. You don't love here, really. If you did you would not be asking this question. She is convenient and you are now interested in someone else. This third person fantasy is entering into your relationship and it is that thought, while you are having an experience with your current girlfriend, that keeps you going.

You will never betray her but you want to betray her - That is what you are saying.

Before you noth get hurt, perhaps you should move on to a more rewarding relationship that provides greater opportunity for more frequent sessions.

You cannot live long in a relationship in which you are dreaming about other partners. As far as missed opportunities - If this girl was satisfying you, you would not need other opportunities.

If you had no GF or had no relationship at all, it is understandable that you would speak of missed opportunities. You have a relationship. Take care of it or abandon it. With your current thinking, this one is not going to last much longer.

Answer 3

Maybe you aren't ready to settle down with one girl just yet. You are still young, and so is she, for sure. A long distance relationship also makes it even harder to remain loyal and faithful to one person when you are young.

Sounds to me like you haven't done enough 'sowing the wild oats' to me. You should tell her that you are finding the distance tough and see how she feels about cooling it for a bit. Chances are she wont be happy about sharing you with other girls - most women don't go for that, I'm afraid. Men and women have different takes on that sort of thing.

So, if you want other women, you are going to have to let this one go. You have to, though. This feeling wont go away. If you don't feel you have experienced enough in the way of other women, then this feeling will only get worse as your relationship goes on. You have to get this out of your system. And who knows, much as you love this woman, there may be another who you are so devoted to, that the idea of being with someone else is unthinkable.

I wouldn't judge you harshly at all here. You are being honest, and the way you feel is quite natural. Be true to yourself, and to your girlfriend. If you aren't, you will only cause unhappiness to you both.

Answer 4

Yes you would regret it, it is so hard to find an honest relationship nowadays. Is there no way that you two could see each other more, if it's to do with work that you dont see her, spend the time away from her planning nice surprises for her, and buying her little gifts, always greet her with flowers, and look forward to that instead of fantasizing about other people.Imagine how gutted she would be if you did betray her, imagine her face and her confusion, because as far as she is concerned, you are both happy

Answer 5

Sorry to tell you this as I'm sure it's not what you want to hear but from a mature person in a stable relationship, NO ONE WOULD FIND THIS ACCEPTABLE.
If you are feeling this way then you should be single. If you really want to stay with her then you will have to forget about other women's booty, maybe try and see a bit more of each other if you can.

Answer 6

It IS hard to maintain a long-distance relationship. But, if you really love her, then you'd better not act on your "desires". If you feel you Are indeed missing out, then you need to break it off w/ your gf, and go sow your oats. There is nothing wrong with that (not sure how many women you were with prior to your present gf?) But if you haven't had much experience, then maybe that is the way you should go. But you do know you can't have it both ways. You must choose! Good Luck !!!

Answer 7

I think this is something you should explore NOW before getting into a serious relationship. Sew your wild oats, because one day when you are 40 or 45, you will have this REGRET that you did not do these things, and your wife will have to deal with it. Whatever you do, be honest and upfront. You can let your girl know your plans, and she can decide to either put up with it or dump you. Better to get this 'urge' or 'curiousity' out of your system now before you settle down, get married, and have kids depending upon Daddy to be faithful and honorable.

Answer 8

First you are not married to your gf so you have no real obligation to her other than you have been dating her for some time.

If you feel some obligation tell her since you are only together on weekends every week or two you would like to tell her you will be dating others and getting some in th process. Give her the same opportunity.

I for one am not a fan of monogamous relationships in or out of marriage. This is a choice a couple should make for themselves to suit their particular needs and wants.

By your merrily asking this question tells me you are not ready for a permanent relationship with someone as yet. Move with caution in your present relationship and don't tie yourself down.

Answer 9

There was a time when you could have as many woman as you wanted but today with STD's you cant take a chance... You have to decide if you want to have a lasting relationship with this girl if not then let her go... Because with you messing around with a multitude of partners you will find someone who compatible and can spend some premium time with you... Good luck and I wish you love...

Answer 10

Sounds to me like you don't really love her as much as you think. If you really really loved her, you wouldn't be thinking like this. If you want to be with other women, do the honourable thing and finish things with your girlfriend first - but make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. What would happen if you finished with your girlfriend, had your fun with some other girls and then realised that you want your girlfriend back? You can't have your cake and eat it.
There's more to life and relationships than a quick fumble with random girls. If you want to live your life like that then be prepared to end up lonely and sad.
Your girlfriend deserves a lot better than you.