i have been engaged for about 3-4 months , both of us are too busy working during the day , however , we only have the weekends , the thing is , he has been ditching me in the last 3-4 weeks , he had to travell , last week he had to go over his cousins and this weekend we were soppuse to go to a show together , took me a day to get ready , and when the time came he had to go to beach with one of his friends who just came from another country
i have been moaning and complaining about this , he doesnt seem to care ( well he does bring me reasons and tries to make me calm down ) but i hate it how he doesnt care about spending time with me , i can see how happy he is with his friends and how depressed he is around me , i dont know what should i do to show him that he should care about me too that he should be a little bit more considerate about going out with me ?!
2007-11-16 00:11:00 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If he is happy around his friends and depressed around you then you two should call off the engagement. He won't be happy and neither will you. Take some time for both of you to sort out your priorities and needs. Then see what happens.
2007-11-16 00:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by ziggy_brat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he should be making more of an effort to spend time with you. Absolutely he should be considerate of your time and your feelings. On the other hand, it sounds like he is really truly pretty busy. I know how you feel, my boyfriend does this a lot, and two weeks ago he canceled our date on Saturday to work on the roof. Makes one feel unwanted and unappreciated. He made up for it by asking me out tonight to a movie. You need to be able to openly and honestly communicate this problem with him. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Try to talk to him when you are both unoccupied, maybe in the morning, because bedtime talks can be the worst and are most likely to become fights. As far as him being depressed around you and happy around his friends can be symptomatic of a deeper problem with him, or a projected fear from you. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
Good luck, I know it can be frustrating.
2007-11-16 08:22:14 · answer #2 · answered by FlowerChild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think his turn in behaviour is prob linked to you two becoming engaged...up until you said 'i do' your guy always had a little fear that he might lose you and that he had to spoil you and shower you with attention and consideration to keep you around and in his life...
sometimes when a guy hears 'i do' then he relaxes, he now knows that you will have a life together and that you will be his wife and he may become a little less attentive and concentrate more on his friends and other activities...he has become too relaxed in this relationship...
so you must remind him that you need attention and that you love to share your weekends with him as before...tell him that you miss him and want quality time...you understand that he is a loyal friend to others but you are his fiancee and must come first!! this is not a serious problem, he just needs to be reminded that you deserve the same love, attention, commitment and loyalty that you used to have...
he is a man and prob does not see a problem here, talk with him and it will resolve itself, im newly engaged too and waiting for this predicament to present itself lol :o)
2007-11-16 08:19:41 · answer #3 · answered by CDsummersun 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well 1st of all don't wine! 2nd don't nag him and nag him. Ask him once and then wait but don't make any plans that take a long time to plan until he is for sure for sure that he is going and you never know, he could be planning something special for you. If he acts depressed around you maybe it is because he is under a lot of pressure with buisness, you being his fiance, and all these people coming into town. Give it some time.
2007-11-16 08:17:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should dump him, that is my sincere advice to u. u re not his priority. who the *** cares about a friend from another country or not if he has a woman he is supposed to love?i had a prick like that once. trust me, it will get worse. do not waste time on him. u have been waiting for the whole week to see him and he ditched u for a friend? this is as low as it can go. believe me, if a man loves u there re no friends or relatives or anything else. only u. he will ditch everything for u
2007-11-16 08:16:53 · answer #5 · answered by yeahright 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
could you try ditching him one weekend at the last minute and go away somewhere with out him? It might make him realise or be jealous.
2007-11-16 08:16:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it doesnt woek with whining about it...........!! u go ahead and hve ur own fun...... show him that it doesnt affect u a bit.........!!! Do make plans with him to go out..........But u have ur own life also so dont get pissed off jus try to do something about like it
2007-11-16 08:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
check he is total man if yes then may he is busy with other gal
2007-11-16 08:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋