how do you tell your parents you are gay when they are very religious?

Question

what so you do when your gay and your parents are very religious?

Answer 1

if they love you, they will eventually accept you. if they don't accept you, they don't love you. tell them that. Give them time to digest what you've told them. They should come around. Some cultures take it worse than others, so if you are filipino or indian, get excited. You are in for a wild ride.

Answer 2

Well not telling them is bad. Then they'll find out the really bad way of just popping in at the wrong time or through hearsay. It really depends on what religion but I'd probably go with making sure you're out of the house and not dependant on them and then sitting them down for a talk in person. Just don't let them think it's their fault somehow, that it was just how things are going to be and they can't change that. Don't expect any kindness or sympathy for a few weeks though if they are super religious and if they're muslim, well.. good luck. Hopefully they get the point that you are still they're child and this is your life. Be more concerned that you're a good person and living well.. the whole parent thing. :)

Btw, i'm not gay however I'd recommend speaking with a few people that you know are gay about it. Hopefully you might even get a better answer on here.

Answer 3

If you're truly ready to tellthem, then just do it. Your parents love you! It may be difficult for them at first, but over time they will accept it. They will never stop loving you. There was a time when some parents would siown their child for being gay, especially if they are religious, but in this day and age parents have learned that God loves us no matter what. If he can forgive us our sins then he can forgive our homosexuality. You were born this way. God created all of us in his image. If he didn't love us being gay, then he wouldn't have created homosexuality. Just be honest with them. Everything will work out for you in the end.

Answer 4

Guess this is really a difficult situation because in the Bible they only accept two kinds of sexes, the male and the female, ironically, in one of the stories in the Bible I am not sure if Cair or Abel, one of his sons was a gay...so homosexuals have been there for so long...and longer than what You and I could have known,what I heard is if you are a gay, you can be easily accepted if you remain as a homosexual but not to involve urself in homosexuality....talk to a closest member in the family where you can divulge yourself as one, if not maybe any close member of your family to the church and open it up to your parents..to the most they won't accept you, but in the end they will, so cheer up.........just pray and hope for the best!!!!

Answer 5

Being religious I am taking as they are God fearing people. You tell them when you are ready. Then in the event you are chastised you must open the bible and present them with I John. Where it states, "Beloved let us love one another...." If anyone cannot love you in-spite of what they feel you should be. That is not love. I love my husband so much that even if it were not me to make him happy, as long as he is happy is most important. That is love, true love. Be blessed!

Answer 6

Tell them the truth: that you did not CHOOSE to be gay; GOD made you gay. God loves ALL his children, and your parents should accept you the way God made you. You need not only their love and accptance, but also their support.

Point out that you did not choose to be gay; who would choose to be in a minority?? Believe me, relationships and love is hard enough being heterosexual, let alone being in a minority. I don't think anyone would "choose" to make their life even more difficult. If they are reasonably intelligent, they will have no choice but to agree with this point. Good luck!! I hope it goes well for you. :)

Answer 7

Better, don't talk about this. Let this matter remain a secret for some years as you said they religious and too conservative.
It's not a crime that you are a gay , jst as I am.
ok?
God Bless

P.S. you may chat with me ....through my Yahoo ID...."beekashroy"..........time should be 8.00P.M.(IST .... Indian standard time)

Answer 8

First, ask yourself if you really want and need to come out to them, and why?

My brother never came out to our parents as he felt it would be too much for them to handle. He lives in another city and his partner was willing to go along with his choice, so he just came home alone to family events and they died without his ever having told them.

Of course, everyone's choice is different because everyone's circumstances are different. If you feel you must be completely honest and open with your parents about everything, that's fine. If they are involved in every aspect of your life so you couldn't keep it secret once you began to live as an openly gay person, then it's necessary. If you want to challenge them or deal with other unresolved issues, maybe you should do that first and then decide whether to come out to them or not.

I tend to think that news like this is best not broken on the telephone. The phone takes away the intimacy and expressiveness of face-to-face discussion, the chance for a hug or a touch on the shoulder that can be so comforting; but it leaves room for the sobs and silences and cruel words that can never be unsaid. If you can't face your parents to tell them, or think it would be too tense and emotional, I would do it by letter. Then they can react in private and calm down before they have to face you, and the rest of the world, with their new knowledge.

Only you can decide whether to do this face to face or in a letter. Some people prefer to get difficult or challenging news in writing, so that they can react in private and then control their intimate feelings in public. Some would rather 'have it out' face to face and allow the honesty or anger and the comfort of presence to resolve issues. You know your parents, and what would work for them.

Whichever approach you choose, start by telling them that you love them very much and you appreciate that their guidance and care has always been given out of love for you and a wish to see your grow up into a caring, kind and honest person. Then tell them that you need to be honest with them about the direction that your life is going to take in future. Your relationship with them is too important to be built on lies, and you respect their honesty, kindness and humility enough to trust them with the truth about yourself.

Acknowledge and respect their beliefs, but point out gently and fimrly that you don't see things in the same way. (If you are religious yourself, telling them about your own church and your faith may help them to see you haven't turrned your back on a relationship with God.)

Acknowledge their fears, and the dangers gay people can face - sexual halth risks, ostracism, attack. You'll know how much detail they need, but let them know that you intend to keep yourself safe and be responsible.

Tell them you're always happy to answer any questions they may have or discuss things with them honestly and openly - but be clear that your sexuality is part of who you are and not open for discussion or disrespect. If you think it would help them, offer the contact details of any gay parents' or family groups. If you know, or can find, a gay minister or priest who would be willing to reach out to your parents, that might be very helpful.

I hope everything works out well for your family.

Answer 9

For your own piece of mind, just tell them, but be prepared for their response. If they are deeply religious, don't expect them to greet the news with openness and joy - and MANY lectures and attempts to "convert" you WILL follow.

Answer 10

Jesse, it particularly is superb honey which you wait till college - and albeit, I merely does not hardship to tell them in any respect in the event that they have all those cling ups (and that i've got been out because i exchange into 14 at maximum). I recommend which you initiate looking a "chosen" kinfolk -- human beings of quite some an prolonged time who will love you for you. so as that as quickly as you bypass to college you do no longer could desire to be lonely or sense deserted. chosen families greater often than no longer are greater acceptable in many techniques (if the folk can particularly quite love one yet another) than blood ones, through fact all people particularly likes one yet another - and none of it particularly is being forced via expectation. for particularly some gay human beings, great chosen families that they love and that love them does a greater acceptable than equivalent activity of taking the area of hate crammed blood families who could reject the youngster in the event that they knew. in case you tell them now, they may well be waiting to tension you into brainwashing. mothers and dads supposedly have many rights that i do no longer think of they could desire to have. considered one of them is to tension their minor babies into risky therapy in the event that they see greater healthful. California tried to illegalize that, yet now they could desire to watch for the SCOTUS to rule. Please do no longer danger your self. you're astounding. do no longer enable them to impression you, and don't provide them reason to do worse. Love your self, be enjoyed, discover those which you like and that love you -- no longer in basic terms enthusiasts yet others besides -- and start to establish your existence. Then bypass to college and overlook the hatred, you will no longer could desire to manage it back. *hugs* Kindest ideas, Hermes