Hi, my wife is extremely selfish and it's beginning to bother me. We've been together for over 5 years and I can't remember when I first noticed it, but it'd been like this now for ages. She'll do what she wants, and watch what she wants, eat what she wants. If I ask whether we can do something that I like she either flatly refuses or sulks (for days) until I feel so bad that I back down. She even does it with our daughter, once flatly refusing to go out for the day because she didn't like the idea of where we were going - even though our daughter was giddy with excitement. I've spoken to her about it and she sees that it's not helpful, but can't understand what's wrong and thinks she should be entitled to do whatever she wants. We've talked about it, much of it has been due to her upbringing and that she's been raised to believe if she does something that a man wants she is 'weak', even if it's something like watching a movie together... I'm lost as to what to do, I love her.
2007-11-15 20:41:42 · 17 answers · asked by FourEyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She either needs to seek counseling (with or without you)
or you need to leave.
2007-11-16 02:45:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her straight out just how you feel about her,don't hold back.She need a rude awakening my friend a jolt back into reality. Sorry but you are the one who has been letting her do what she wants. She sulks and you give in that sounds like something a baby does to get attention or their own way..Was her father a abusive man if so it all makes sense.
2007-11-15 23:42:28 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is just a spoiled brat plane and simple. If she insist on acting like a spoiled child then you should treat her like a child. If you and your daughter make plans and your wife refuses to participate then go along with your plans and ignore your wife, leave her at home alone to sulk. If you want something in particular to eat but she refuses to compromise then cook what you want and leave her to find her supper on her own. If you want to watch a movie but she refuses then go ahead and watch what you want and don't pay any attention to her whining. Believe me, when she realizes that you are not going to cave into her whiney little spoiled a.s.s. and you are not going to pay any attention to her then she will start to have a differant view of things.
2007-11-15 22:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest having her get some form of counseling. She obviously doesn't understand the give and take of a relationship. If she was brought up this way, she'll need to be taught how to change her mindset. But she's got to be willing to change. It's a hard road you're on, but hopefully your wife will want to make this change not for you or your family, but herself. Good luck friend.
2007-11-15 21:07:13 · answer #4 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She really really needs an eye opener.
I'm sure what she is doing is not making her happy and she knows it.
I'm sure she does not want to be this way.
You really need to tell her how you feel and if she does not get any help you will have to leave.
It's no good for you to stay in a selfish marriage,but you have to do all you can to fix it first.If nothing works atleast you can say you tried all you can and did not give up till the end.
Good Luck Buddy!!!!
2007-11-15 23:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You picked her smart guy and knocked her up as well you're screwed royally, unless you have a pre-nup, till the kid's 18. Get back at her passive aggressive style like I don't know give her a poop mustache when she's asleep or eat a salad with eggs, Bleu cheese, and onions then pull the covers over her head and let er rip a nice eggy fart ( also known as "The Oven") might make you feel better. She likes to treat you like crap put the shoe on the other foot and see how she likes it.
2007-11-15 21:16:13 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. P 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your wife has issues with submission. Marriage is a two way street for both parties to meet each other needs and help each other in this lifetime. Honestly, if she is not willing to submit to anyone or anything then your problems have just begun and will be going on for a very long time. There is only one way to deal with this and that is to take her to a "higher authority". She won't listen to you and if she's not willing to listen to others there is no helping.
2007-11-15 20:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by pb07pb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel that she is selfish I just feel that, with her up bringing she is scared, I feel that if you reassure her that she is not weak to do something you want to do then she would be stronger not weaker. Some of her problems may be depression as well you might want to check into it. she may also feel that the only reason that you want to do something different then you don't like what she wants to do, just reassure her over and over.
2007-11-15 21:24:12 · answer #8 · answered by angelblueyes1975 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about getting some marriage counseling. It sounds like you've tried everything else. She reallly needs help before she destroys your life and your daughters life
2007-11-15 20:46:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just going to have to let her sulk, be happy when she doesn't go when she doesn't want to, eat what you want, keep up a good relationship with your daughter, get your own TV with cable.
I really don't know.
I know for sure you need to keep a good relationship with your daughter.
I would say go to a counselor but they can't always help.
2007-11-15 20:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by K 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk it over seriously or time for an ultimatum.Atleast your daughter could be saved from growing up with such an attitude
2007-11-15 20:47:46 · answer #11 · answered by jason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋