Would writing my ex-professor a letter jeopardize his career?

Question

we had something going only after I withdrew,
and by that I mean we had a great friendship with
a hint of romance,
I believe in staying pure until marriage so we never did nothing like that,
I want to send him a letter saying:
"I don't want that life-if I can't have you-I Miss You-And I am Sorry"

Don't ask about the sorry part, ya I feel ashamed for something I did, but it's not cheating or anything close to that!

If I send it to the college (it's a small community one - where everyone "talks" ), WILL HIS BOSS HAVE TO READ IT and
is that a bad idea (writing the letter) ?

Answer 1

I think you very much want to contact this fellow. There seem to be matters you'd like to resolve, and if there's a chance for a deeper relationship, you don't want to pass it up.

Technically he's innocent if the relationship started only after you withdrew. But people jump to conclusions, and there could be unpleasant gossip if the letter got into the wrong hands. I'd take the risk only if there's *no other way* to get his attention.

Maybe you can write him a very brief letter, requesting an in-person meeting. (You could give a fake reason for the meeting, lest the letter be seen by someone else.) Then you can apologize and discuss your relationship in person. I realize that face-to-face meetings sound scary, but usually they're the best way to communicate. And in this case, it would also be the best way to guarantee privacy.

Answer 2

Firstly, most institutions have a policy where a lecturer etc cannot have relations with a student for about two years after the student has been taught. I would also be asking about whether this guy is just a representation of your father... and if he is a professor, he will know this... which means it may not go as far as you want, or, may only last until you grow a little more in understanding what attracts you to others. But I am kind of envious of him... : )). No-one can read his mail. That would be a breach of confidentiality. Just address it clearly and write 'confidential' on it. Leave contact details but also give your self a timeline. If he doesn't meet it then let 'it' go and move on...

Answer 3

Dont, and if you do give it to him personally. mail it to him.. But dont send it to the college... cause i know how fast word can spread, it's not pretty. Email him or something... It's better safe then sorry... and even if theres a small posibility that something will happen. I still think you should mail it to HIS house... ( unless he's with someone) or email him or something. I'm positive you have his email. Good luck with that... take care.

Answer 4

you have the right to have feelings for someone... regardless of their job description
and by you saying that he's your "ex-professor" ... i take it that you're both adults.. and the fact that your friendship-romance relationship occurred AFTER you moved out of his class... y would u need to worry about jeopardizing his career or your reputation? that's yours and his personal life
and writing him a letter is personal too isn't it? unless you're writing it publically
i'm sure it'll stay private between u too

i say you write to him
that is if you think he respects you and your feelings
he's not married is he???

Answer 5

Meet with him in person. It's risky putting words on paper or computer. They can be misconstrued and cause much havoc. You don't want to disturb his life negatively.

Talk to him in person and settle whatever you have to settle.