Does This Mean It's Time For The Big Old "D"?

Question

Ok so a very LARGE majority of marital problems revolve around money. Well my husband seems to think that even tho i am 5.5 months pregnant i should get a job to pay bills(he works nights and we have a toddler home all day still). His needs always come before the 'family" needs, like if he needs new shoes or workboots they come first before a bill or groceries.I don't have a problem getting a job i just don't know of any company that will hire a woman who is almost 6 months pregnant.
Its like a never ending battle with my husband everytime i tell him i need "x" amount of money for a bill he freaks out and says no, and the other thing that pisses me off is we have a joint account yet i am NOT allowed to touch "his" money.
I just feel like he is trying to control and manipulate me, he has already got me completely dependant on him, before we met i had a job and was doing fine and now........
We fight nearly everyday i hate it, is it time for divorce?

he is one of these old fashioned types of guys who believes the woman should stay home and raise the kids but still find a way to make money to contribute to the household bills. I am at my wits end and the fighting is not healthy for our children. He also threatens to take my kids from me if i try to leave and its getting to the point where i just wanna secretly leave but can't..........

he even freaked out because i bought a vegetable platter for $10 instead of buying all the needed vegies and cutting them up, that is how cruel he has gotten. I don't know what to do i feel like my life is falling apart. I keep trying to remember why i married him thinking that will work to keep things going good and i do love him but is loving someone enough to stay with them

i suggested marriage counselling to him already on numerous occassions and he says if i want to go thats fine because i'm the one with the problems not him.

Answer 1

I would not stay with him. His needs are to never come first. He has a family and their needs are to come first, especially your toddlers needs. With my husband if someone does without it is him. The money is not his. You are his wife so that makes it yours also. He is controlling you, you are his house maid and now he has decided that you need to make money also. Fighting everyday is not good for the kids and is really not good for a pregnant woman. If I were in your shoes I would say it is time for a divorce. I would not think that you should start working at this stage in your pregnancy. What does your doctor say about it? It is one thing if you had always worked since you have been pregnant but since you have not I would check with him. There might not be any place that would hire you at this stage. Fighting everyday is not a marriage. Sounds like hell to me. Good luck honey and take care of yourself. This stress is not good for you or the baby.

Answer 2

so basically you're saying that you don't understand the Big Bang Theory or evolution but you believe those over creation which apparently from what you've written you don't understand either. Having study both sides of the argument I can say that there is nothing scientific about the evolution or Big Bang theories. A theory can be changed and disproven. Where were scientists when any of this was going on? Better yet.... 2 “Who is this that is obscuring counsel By words without knowledge?+ 3 Gird up your loins, please, like an able-bodied man, And let me question you, and you inform me.+ 4 Where did you happen to be when I founded the earth?+ Tell [me], if you do know understanding. 5 Who set its measurements, in case you know, Or who stretched out upon it the measuring line? 6 Into what have its socket pedestals+ been sunk down, Or who laid its cornerstone, 7 When the morning stars+ joyfully cried out together, And all the sons of God* + began shouting in applause? Job 38

Answer 3

NEVER allow yourself to be at his mercy asking for the things you so need for daily living right? Do the math the hours spent on the best child care= $$ at least 50 a day plus when you cook and clean run errands do the shopping laundry service all of that is work keep a record of how much you contribute to the househould it really helps when you can see it on a weekly chart for you Not to get his approvel you know that wont happen. And at night when you sleep knowing all the money in his wallet cant pay your wages. I am proud to say Your a strong person dont forget that you must not wait for that pat on your back from anyone but you can ask on your God to take away the difficulties coming in the way of you being the best mom,wife and the rest will all fall into place.

Answer 4

marriage counseling. he just doesnt see it from your side. he prob doesnt realize it either.

saw your update, but before you make any rash decisions, try talking with him, he is your husband after all, or at least if your afraid to or whatever, get some personal counseling for you before doing something that might be bad for you and the kids. ask a friend for money so he wont know. sit down with a friend. if you're being "battered" go to a shelter for that with the kids.

oh and be careful about listening too much to the people on yahoo answers (oo im gonna get thumbs down for this). it's just that people arent always completely honest typing anonymously and don't really know your situation or care about you. they might just tell you to do something stupid for the fun of it. talk to a real person too. like dont listen to that person who says "leave his butt" without talking to someone bec you prob love him and the kids prob do

Answer 5

Ouch he sounds like a control freak that believes "women should be barefooted and pregnant in the kitchen all day"
I'm sorry to say it will only get worse, maybe when he fully realises you mean business that he will go with you to seek counselling.
I'm really sorry to say the outlook is grim,they are always right,you don't rate,well get serious with him good luck ♥

Answer 6

he sounds like my ex...mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.Do you want your children to grow up and think that's the way to treat women? You have every right to access the finances as he does.Just make sure you protect yourself if you feel he may try to hurt you get a protection order/restraining order...I learned it the hard way. When i was getting a d in the early 90's my ex kidnapped my son and hid him away for3 years. Just make sure if you leave you have some where safe to go,,Best of luck to you

Answer 7

Get a good lawyer and divorce him
Oh you can make money at home BUT im sure he wouldnt like that either lol

Answer 8

sorry to hear that but i think it should be 50/50 but come on not now that you are expecting a baby or just get rid of him like they say there are more fish in the sea i know its hard but you gotta make him understand the situation........good luck

Answer 9

I'm so sorry. He sounds like a real prick. Joint account...but only HIS money??? Time for a change.You deserve better, and you DON'T need added stress right now.
Take care....best of luck.

Answer 10

He is a controlling jerk. Leave his butt, and make him pay spousal support and child support. You do not have to work becaue you are pregnant and have young children at home. That will teach the idiot whose money it is!!!