So that's my question, why? I've been in a plethora of relationships with good looking people who end up being douchebags. I didn't realize it until my last relationship where a ridiculously good looking person turned out to be completely out of whack. It took me a while to realize that the only reason I was with her was because she was well ...hot. I'm a young guy so I'm thinking this is all part of becoming an adult and realizing that looks aren't everything because sometimes they screw u over. So any suggestions on how not to be shallow? I am really trying to change for the better.
2007-11-15 19:15:29 · 7 answers · asked by LuckyDevil56 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
At least your smart enough to realize you've been making some dumb choices. And now you're smart enough to try to overcome this issue. Very cool.
First off.. it is totally normal to be physically attracted to a person initially.. it's that physical attraction that makes you want to initiate talking with her and her vice versa with you.
and
the reality is.. relationships need to have some sort of physical attraction to be successful.
but that shouldn't be all there is to it.
What you should do is this..
When you find a pretty woman that you're interested in.. don't just date her, .. hang out with her only as friends. If you hang out with her only as friends.. it does a couple things..
First, it'll force you to not go right to the physical part of a relationship.. like kissing, holding hands, and sex.. it'll force you to go out and talk.. communicate, laugh together.. experience things together.. a concert, or a bike ride or something.. but it'll give you the chance to really get to know her and who she is.. and from there.. if you can be friends with her.. then you can have a good basis for a real relationship. But you should just be friends with her for at least 6 months..
the other thing too is.. if you let her know from the get go, that you're interested only in being friends with her.. (don't let her know it's your testing the waters time to learn who she is.) but if you just say you only want to be friends.. it'll put her at ease.. many women, when they're asked out on a date, try to personify what THEY think the guy wants in a woman.. so they'll be over sexy.. they'll be flirty etc.. all things which maybe normally their not..
So as friends.. you'll learn what her humour is like.. what makes her laugh.. what she thinks about .. what worries her.. what makes her happy.. what does she believe.. what is she doing for her future.. What does she want from life.. where has she been.. what regrets does she have.. what dreams does she have..
these are all things you'll learn about her as a friend.. and once you do .. you'll know if she's shallow or not..
So .. find a couple girls that you're physically attracted too.. and just be their friend for at least 6 months.. and get to know the REAL them, and let them get to know the REAL you.
you'll be a lot happier, and when you do decide which friend you want to be in a realtionship with.. you'll have more of a basis of a realtionship.
In the end, when you're married.. passion comes and goes.. but the friendship.. that is always there. But you need to have great communication skills.. which means.. not just talking.. but listening too.
Good luck and I commend you on your plight.
2007-11-15 19:49:08 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save sex until after you are married. Get to know them first and that way your relationship will not be based on just how good they perform in bed. Get out of the party lifestyle. Stop drinking and doing drugs(just in case you do), get serious in life and that will attract a good someone to you.
2007-11-15 19:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by Bug 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just try to be friends with someone whose not pretty. Just spend time together as friend in the end you realize you like her. Watch Beauty & The Geek...I think that will make you know how with how these girls react to their experiences.
2007-11-15 19:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
women are frequently valued for his or her seems, so while a guy needs to be merciless, he will tear into her seems. no longer all adult males are that low, even though it particularly is a comfortable spot for women and a few adult males are recommend. this is the same manage a woman tearing a guy down for a manner plenty he earns or his loss of guidance.
2016-10-02 11:42:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just look for the inner beauty of the people you date.
2007-11-15 19:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you do realize the person's personality makes their appearance look so attractive and the hot chics with bad attitudes dont look so hot after all?
at least your getting there!!
2007-11-15 19:31:43 · answer #6 · answered by dot 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do what i do..
pick them drunk..lol
lol
2007-11-15 19:19:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋