My brother died a year ago and up to now I can't overcome my grief. How do I find comfort?

Question

When he died, I felt so sorry for my parents. I never saw them so helpless and it broke my heart. I had to be strong for them and I had to forget about my own grief. But now , depression is really getting to me. I miss my brother so much and I find it hard to let go. He's gone but I get to live longer. I miss him so much. How can it be better when he's no longer around? Life doesn't make sense.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I strongly recommend finding a good, caring, humorous, kind therapist who can help you work through your depression.

Many hugs.

Answer 2

You will I am certain have many friends around you trying to help in the best way they can to overcome your loss of a loved one,whatever they do or say will not ever be enough for you, at this stage,I have been in the terrible situation you have my friend,I found remembering the very many, good times shared, put into perspective what had to do,that was, move on with my, life,I offer the same advice to you with all sincerity, and understanding,your brother would not, wish to be in a state of depression,nor does it help your parents, with the loss they obviously share with you.Good luck to you, and your parents.

Answer 3

First thing I would like to tell you since this is what a counselor of mine at school used to tell me all time when I was a little girl. She used to say don't hold the pain in, just let it all out and cry because crying is good for you. I also want to tell you that would really help alot is to write a letter to your brother telling him how much you miss him and how much you love him. Something that would help even better is to verbally say it to him out loud when you are alone. Just let it out, because you will never be able to heal unless you let the anger and fustrations out........even if you cuss that's fine, because you are hurt, so it would only be natural. I have not personally experienced losing a sibling, but I can tell you that you will heal sweetheart! : )

Answer 4

I am very sorry for your loss. If you are a religious person, it may make it a little easier to bear if you believe that he is at peace, not in pain and not stressed.
Also, you might want to talk to your parents, a counselor, or someone at your church (if you go to church). Talking really does help.
One day you'll wake up and find that it doesn't quite hurt so much to breathe and you'll think that your brother would want you out living your life, because we never really know how much time we have left.
Eventually, you'll be able to think of good times with him and actually laugh and not cry. I know it seems impossible, but please believe me it will happen.
Again, so sorry for your loss, I hope this helps a little.

Answer 5

I never lost a sibling...but at my young age i experienced the loss of my child...so can understand the pain.I commend you for being strong for them and i can see you didnt have an opportunity to grief...if you have a gf or a really close friend talk to them and dont be afraid to cry and cry if you feel thats the way you want to mourn your brother...after all crying is the healing of the soul....reasons to live for your brother,your parents, but mainly yourself because as long as you live so will he through you and your memories...celebrate his life...
im not sure if your feeling guilty or you feel like you needed to tell him something...maybe you should go to the cemetary and take him some flowers and tell him wat you need to say...
dont feel guilty because your alive embrace what you have be thankful every morning because you woke up to see another day and you get to do what you didnt get to do the day before tell someone i love u or im sorry....dont be selfish because whatever happens to you will hurt your parents and you would not want to cause them pain after what they went through... you cant replace your brother but you can help them ease that wound....as your hurting im sure they do too they just dont show it.

Answer 6

I am very sorry for the loss of your brother you should take these issues into counseling its a very hard thing to deal with you should take baby steps tho try talking to a counselor about it to get how you feel out you have to grief him let your emotions out it will take time but with time you will get stronger stay positive I know its a tuff time right now but you have to be strong

Answer 7

I don't know how to put this any easier, but sadly that's how life goes. But just remember he is never truly gone if you keep him in your heart. The best thing I would suggest is talk to your parents, they could be feeling the same way. You all three could try going to group therapy or something like that. Sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry for your loss. Right now you need to focus on yourself, not your parents. Give in to your grief and cry for awhile, if that's what makes you feel better. Also seek the help of a grief counselor, who can help you and your parents work through your loss. God's blessings to you.

Answer 9

im really sorry to hear it hun , i can only imagine what if feels like and i know this might sound weird but i find this true " God always takes the good people faster up to heaven so they can be with him" u know im sure he was a great guy and also hes just physically gone his soul is always with u , in ur heart as long as you want him there , and i dont think he would want you depressed ! depression wont bring him back sadly i know its so hard but you have to try for him to live on and be happy cuz im so sure he wouldnt want you sad
i hope everything goes good for you

Answer 10

My younger brother died too. I kept thinking that since I was the oldest, it should have been me. Then I accepted that there is a reason for everything. Just give it time. The memories will never go away, but they do become more bearable in time.