2007-11-15 18:32:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no.. that could be considered cheating.. especially if the wife doesnt know anything about it...
2007-11-15 18:35:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there is a way that your chat sessions can be recorded and available for your wife's inspection at her request, then that is a safe situation and you should be able to chat at will with whomever. Your just chatting with other women on-line is not infidelity by itself, but there is great temptation to start talking about personal or private issues with the opposite sex which your wife may not appreciate your sharing or consider it a betrayal of her love and trust in you. So always hold out to others that you are married and make it be known you are only interested in platonic chats and nothing romantic or sexual.
If the thought of having only platonic chat is not appealing to you, then ask yourself if you are not already working on cheating on your wife by fantacizing about it with another woman. You can have friendships with the opposite sex besides your spouse but you should also hold no secrets such that your spouse can have full access to these other friends or conversations if they so desire. With your spouse, you should hold no secrets and your life should be an open book (and visa versa for her) if trust is to be maintained and your love allowed to thrive in a healthy, safe relationship.
If, however, you spouse is a particularly jealous type and you've given her no real reason to be, then you have more of a challenge as your spouse may scare off ANY of your friends of the opposite sex in an attempt to sew you in and control your relationships. This is an unhealthy situation and one I know very well as jealousy seemed to be the common denominator in several relationships I had and as a result, many of my friends were scared off for fear my jealous girlfriend would do something mean or aggressive to them, even though the relationship was totally platonic.
If your spouse does scare off ALL your friendships with females, she has a problem and therefore you have a problem too and will need to work this out (try books, support groups, classes, tapes, etc.) but she will have to realize that by trying to control you, she is losing you and she has to want to change her behavior before it will work.
When I first started to engage in chat with other women, I was amazed at how it almost always eventually led to some sharing of sexual information so I just changed my policy and let it be known I was spoken for and not looking for anything but a platonic friendship. Many women respected that and as a result, I found healthy friendships ruled by mutual observance of each others boundaries.
I disagree with those who would say that if you are married, you cannot engage in text chat with any other person of the opposite sex or else you are cheating. No. You can establish boundaries but do be careful because it c an be a slippery slope which might ultimately bring you to think more about these new friends than you do your own spouse. So keep your spouse No. 1 in your life and consider putting text chat on the sacrificial alter if the two of you cannot agree on acceptable boundaries for what is allowed and what can be inspected by the other spouse.
2007-11-15 19:04:59 · answer #2 · answered by John S. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is innocent chatting. However, I wouldn't be thrilled about it myself.
I stay at home while my husband works and am online but I don't go into chat rooms.
I guess if you are the man in this question you know in your heart if what you are doing is wrong based on the types of conversations you are having- it could be harmless or it could be inappropriate.
2007-11-15 18:37:54 · answer #3 · answered by dlfinefrock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what he is chatting with them about. I mean I would be ok with it. And I wouldn't even mind if he did cyber as long as its a quick release and not setting up an actual date to meet the woman to have sex or anything of that nature. But like casual chatting is fine. Now the issue of "should he" or "shouldn't he" is really between him and his gf or spouse. Because only they can determine what is actually bad behaviour for either of them when talking to someone online, or just being online period.
P.S. This is sort of one of those situations I would label as, learning when to pick your battles and have a fight about it or not. Purely up to you either way you would wish to go with it.
2007-11-15 19:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not? The wife must also be chatting with other men at work. As long as none of them cheat, what's wrong?
2007-11-15 18:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by Protik Maitra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a matter of right or wrong, if you have a computer he will chat on line.Most people do it,hell i even do it when my husband is asleep. All of us that chat on line our partners are sleeping or working. Nothing wrong as long as you keep it friendly. My husband looks at porn when he thinks i am asleep but i know he does it. Welcome to the wonderful world of technology
2007-11-15 18:42:56 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Would you talk to these women if your wife was home or sitting beside you? If yes, then obviously you have nothing to hide and she is okay with it. If you would never do it with her home and with out her knowing, then obviously you are suspect and have something to hide, so no, you shouldnt.
2007-11-15 18:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the subject. If its innocent then its ok. If it is flirting or more then it is wrong.
2007-11-15 18:38:22 · answer #8 · answered by mypuddytat2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't even do it when she is home.
2007-11-15 18:40:16 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can, I don't care.
2007-11-15 18:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋